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RE: Help with appeal! - 8/5/2007 11:29:48 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Do you have to act the stereotype? You got a lot of good advice and all but part of learning and growing is being able to accept it when people point out your flaws.


correcting typos... I blame the pain meds...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 4:15:54 AM   
elechelpjy


Posts: 5
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Alright bud, I've got a couple of things to say, and you probably won't like em, but I feel they've gotta be said.

First off...I'm a young Dom myself, with very little experience in the lifestyle. But I don't get scorned for my age, at least not by the people who are genuine in the lifestyle. And that's because I come in with a good attitude, I come in as someone who is eager to learn and to grow, not only as a Dominant, but as a person.

They all know what little experience I have, and they don't care.  They have a hard time grasping I'm young, because I am respectful and have manners. If they try to point something out to me, I listen and I respect them for it.

The people above you, have all given sound advice, as well as productive criticism. So try to grow up.

Before you try to tell everyone that you're a "Dominant" perhaps you should realize what that means? A dominant is one who always practices self control,  before he tries to control anyone else. And you're a Dominant whether you have a sub or not, and most subs don't want a Dom who thinks he has to have one in order to be in control.

Maturity isn't something you can pretend to have, you either have it or you don't, and the way you're acting, you don't. If you want to attract the right kind of sub/slave, you need to present yourself in a better manner then you have.

A dominant is a natural leader, one who is able to be looked up to by his sub/slave, one who always does what is right, and treats people with the respect they deserve. If a sub can't look up to you because of who you are, and how you act, then they can't submit to you in the way you want. And from what I see at the moment, you'd have a hard time finding anyone who would look up to you.

*Shrugs*But these are my opinions, if I'm wrong, then I am.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 5:22:55 AM   
liljoy


Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
Status: offline 		very well said and in my opinion You are not wrong at all

(in reply to elechelpjy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 9:10:31 AM   
EclipseAbove


Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		I have to agree with what elechelpjy had to say. 

Also, what do you care what other people think?  I know more than a few older Doms who are really big on making sure everyone thinks they are such a great dominant.  Of course, I have to make sure to be at least 50 feet away from them when they play to avoid getting hit by their wild single tail throws.  You don't want to be one of those guys, do you?

(in reply to liljoy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 9:27:07 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jounan

Hi!
I'm a young very serious Dom, i may not be the most experienced.,But heck i'm trying! (i'm 20 btw) I take this Life-style very serious, i am completly open to anyone who asks me. i try to keep everything on a nice level. it's just that.. in this community people see my age and go "oh, another little kid who gets turned on by bondage pics... damn poser" I want people to understand that i'm really serious with this! same when i try to talk to people i get so ignored it sick! i have been trying to meet a sub for a long time now, But i'm so utterly ignored even by people my age, what can i do to appear more.. serious, mature? should i just change my age to 24? should i give up? should i wait for a couple of..*gulp* Decades?

Please guide me!

//jounan


Just be at ease with the man in the mirror.  Then go hunting the subs that catch your fancy.

Never give up.  That's the one sure way to NOT get what you want.

(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 9:28:21 AM   
Damocles809


Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jounan

Hi!
I'm a young very serious Dom,


There's your problem. 

(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 2:38:35 PM   
Jounan


Posts: 4
Joined: 10/29/2006
Status: offline 		well, its just that i'm very very frustrated. i hate when people have to pick on other people for things as grammar. so it kinda screwed up my mood for the rest of the post. it seems as no one actually read anything that i wrote except for the change of attitude part? i said that i have thought of changing attittude since i've seen som many assholes with so nice girls. since no one seems to care about that "sweet" guy. seriously, my ex left me for a guy who cheated on her all the time, played with her feelings to get head and such. i literally gave her everything she asked for. i was romantic, from the bottom of my heart. i loved her and cared for her. then she left me for a guy with attitude that she didn't even had met. it kinda says it all to me. all girls i meet says, you're such i nice guy. i hope the best for you. and so on.. and then i hear they meet some guy who beat up weaker guys for fun. And though i got some advice.. this doesn't seem to be the right place to ask for advice. i get flamed for very random things. i will definetly not post here again.. and if you want to call me things or "correct" me further. just pm me or something. I will just keep the good guy attittude. apparently it will work. And i will never ever ask for advice here again. i don't know why everyone have such a bad attitude here? i only asked.. really that was the only thing i did. i did never say anything bad about any of you. from now on i'm on my own Selfstudy, thank you.

//Jounan

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 2:48:23 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jounan

well, its just that i'm very very frustrated. i hate when people have to pick on other people for things as grammar. so it kinda screwed up my mood for the rest of the post. it seems as no one actually read anything that i wrote except for the change of attitude part? i said that i have thought of changing attittude since i've seen som many assholes with so nice girls. since no one seems to care about that "sweet" guy.

Something men have complained about since the start of time. Assholes seem to have self-confidence, something women are attracted to, even if they really don't. Sometimes the truth comes to pass and the women leaves. Sometimes those assholes have enough good traits that the women stick around.
quote:



seriously, my ex left me for a guy who cheated on her all the time, played with her feelings to get head and such. i literally gave her everything she asked for. i was romantic, from the bottom of my heart. i loved her and cared for her. then she left me for a guy with attitude that she didn't even had met. it kinda says it all to me. all girls i meet says, you're such i nice guy. i hope the best for you. and so on.. and then i hear they meet some guy who beat up weaker guys for fun.

I know that it really sucks, but you need to get over it. At our age, the nice guys don't always get the girl. You have to wait the women to get older and realize that the assholes are just that - asshole.
quote:


And though i got some advice.. this doesn't seem to be the right place to ask for advice. i get flamed for very random things. i will definetly not post here again.. and if you want to call me things or "correct" me further. just pm me or something. I will just keep the good guy attittude. apparently it will work. And i will never ever ask for advice here again. i don't know why everyone have such a bad attitude here?

So you got the blunt, honest truth and some people picked on your grammer. The BDSM world is not special or unique. We have assholes here too. If you stick with the "I'm taking my ball and going home" attitude, you aren't going to have nearly the rich and wonderful experience that you could have.
quote:


i only asked.. really that was the only thing i did. i did never say anything bad about any of you. from now on i'm on my own Selfstudy, thank you.

//Jounan


Self-study is only going to help you so much and to be honest, I would never submit to a dominant who is only self-study. One of the reasons I am with Valyraen is because, while he is young, he is also smart enough to realize that he can learn more and be a better dominant by learning from the people who have been here longer then him. I hope you stick around and ignore your wounded pride because you will learn a lot if you do.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 3:27:45 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		Don't insist that you're serious and not a poser, please. That really doesn't make anyone look good. Show, don't tell--act with maturity, and you will be perceived as more mature. Do your fellow BDSMers actually say, "Oh, another little kid who gets turned on by bondage pics...damn poser," to you? If so, and if you are turned on by bondage photography, you could acknowledge that you do like bondage photos and name your favorite artist or style or book. If bondage photos don't really do anything for you, say so, and then cop to something that *does* turn you on--maybe spanking photos?

How do you appear more serious and mature? Fulfill your obligations (college? work?) with care--be tidy, be punctual, speak and write slowly and with precision. Professional standards might help you out. If you have teachers or professors at school, or supervisors or mentors at work, you could talk to them about how to appear more mature and serious in order to move up in your career--the things you do in order to be taken seriously at work, or with your family, are many of the same tactics you use to be taken seriously in other arenas like BDSM groups.

Also, just a profile note--if you're going to list yourself as dominant and say that you're actively seeking other dominant people, you should have some text explaining why that's the case, because it's atypical.


(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 3:41:17 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jounan

well, its just that i'm very very frustrated. i hate when people have to pick on other people for things as grammar. so it kinda screwed up my mood for the rest of the post. it seems as no one actually read anything that i wrote except for the change of attitude part? i said that i have thought of changing attittude since i've seen som many assholes with so nice girls. since no one seems to care about that "sweet" guy. seriously, my ex left me for a guy who cheated on her all the time, played with her feelings to get head and such. i literally gave her everything she asked for. i was romantic, from the bottom of my heart. i loved her and cared for her. then she left me for a guy with attitude that she didn't even had met. it kinda says it all to me. all girls i meet says, you're such i nice guy. i hope the best for you. and so on.. and then i hear they meet some guy who beat up weaker guys for fun. And though i got some advice.. this doesn't seem to be the right place to ask for advice. i get flamed for very random things. i will definetly not post here again.. and if you want to call me things or "correct" me further. just pm me or something. I will just keep the good guy attittude. apparently it will work. And i will never ever ask for advice here again. i don't know why everyone have such a bad attitude here? i only asked.. really that was the only thing i did. i did never say anything bad about any of you. from now on i'm on my own Selfstudy, thank you.

//Jounan



Bad attitude?  You asked the question, and you got answers--eally just one answer because everyone's saying pretty much the same thing:  Show, don't tell; relax; be the person you are and be confident in who you are.

If that's a bad attitude, then I hope mine is downright horrible.

(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/6/2007 6:00:27 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jounan
. i don't know why everyone have such a bad attitude here?
EVERYONE??
 
Gee thanks, I gave you straight up advice and then you tell me that I have a bad attitude? How about "lose the chip on your shoulder" for advice?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Help with appeal! - 8/7/2007 4:29:35 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jounan

well, its just that i'm very very frustrated. i hate when people have to pick on other people for things as grammar. so it kinda screwed up my mood for the rest of the post. it seems as no one actually read anything that i wrote except for the change of attitude part? i said that i have thought of changing attittude since i've seen som many assholes with so nice girls. since no one seems to care about that "sweet" guy. seriously, my ex left me for a guy who cheated on her all the time, played with her feelings to get head and such. i literally gave her everything she asked for. i was romantic, from the bottom of my heart. i loved her and cared for her. then she left me for a guy with attitude that she didn't even had met. it kinda says it all to me. all girls i meet says, you're such i nice guy. i hope the best for you. and so on.. and then i hear they meet some guy who beat up weaker guys for fun. And though i got some advice.. this doesn't seem to be the right place to ask for advice. i get flamed for very random things. i will definetly not post here again.. and if you want to call me things or "correct" me further. just pm me or something. I will just keep the good guy attittude. apparently it will work. And i will never ever ask for advice here again. i don't know why everyone have such a bad attitude here? i only asked.. really that was the only thing i did. i did never say anything bad about any of you. from now on i'm on my own Selfstudy, thank you.

//Jounan



Dude,

You're wearing my hand me down shoes.

Seriously, I wondered the same thing.  Then I finally came to grips with the fact, that young girls often make bad decisions.  It's as much a part of their growing process, as young guys making bad decisions.   Hell, technically (to you) I'm an old guy, and I still make bad decisions!

What you aren't grasping, is that you need to grow a pair.  Seriously.  It isn't the world's fault that the chick you obsessed about doesn't want you.  It doesn't matter.  There are literally billions of women in the world.  Find one better, hotter, smarter, more interesting, without a gag reflex.  Stop playing poor me, and start learning to be the man you wish you were.

Accept you won't find perfect-subbie-numero-uno today.  It might not be tomorrow.  You could even have to wait months to meet the right chick.  Some of us wait years even.  Sure, patience seems overrated; but from a subs point of view, it's gold.

And seriously, if you think everyone's got a bad attitude... and I do mean everyone since those were your words, you may wish to consider why a bunch of perfect strangers who seem to get along just fine otherwise, seemed to come down on you.  Consider it might be something you said, or an attitude you have adopted.  If you genuinely wish to feel the world hates you, a simple "hello" is going to sound like a death threat.  Before you start pointing fingers at strangers, it's worth a moment to take a good look in the mirror.

Until you do, that face of yours will end up my age, but the chip on your shoulder will still be fresh and ugly as ever.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Jounan)
Profile   Post #: 32
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