|
Drifa -> RE: OK Ladies? (8/5/2007 6:03:51 AM)
|
I'm intelligent, and someone who I felt was dumber than a brick could never take me to the place in my head I need to be. So much of submission and the feelings associated with it happen inside my head, it takes a smart dominant to establish the mindset she wants me to have.
You can't scene all the time, and in between having a witty, engaging partner is a must for me. I want to be as excited to curl up on the couch together and talk about ANYTHING with this brilliant conversationalist as I am to be tied up and spanked later.
A sense of humor is, I think, really necessary for good sex, vanilla or kink. Because funny things happen! And you need to be able to laugh and not let it destroy the mood then go on. After clearing away the mess where the bedslats broke and the bed collapsed atop you in a spectacular implosion of bedposts and silk drapes, you have to laugh, and start again!
Next, I want absolute truthfulness and trustworthiness. These are the foundations upon which trust is established. Experience has taught me that my Lady doesn't lie, ever. She is utterly trustworthy and I can literally put my life, health and safety into her hands with no worries.
I don't worry about looks or other nonconsequentials. Like anyone, I appreciate eye candy when I see it. But I am also an artist and I see beauty everywhere. It's all about perception.
Money/employment are a must. I work and make very good money on my own. So does my Lady. If one of us somehow could no longer work, we can keep our household going. Someone who won't work or doesn't seem able to keep a job means you end up supporting them and almost never receive full value in terms of helping around the house in return. That kind of inequality ina relationship is a deathknell. I may consensually exchange power, but I get full value back in care and joy. And money issues have to have the same balance.
Life stability is another must. Life stability is knowing who you are, being on a social and mental even keel. A hormone-driven teenager doesn't have that stability usually. Not all adults do, either. I want a person who knows who she is, who knows what she wants out of life, and one who, when she meets a obstacle to her desires, uses her brain to find a way around the problem instead of simply raging.
|
|
|
|
