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RE: married subs - 8/8/2007 6:16:55 AM

Laure

Posts: 42
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

We are polyamorous, and for some reason that makes some think I am just up for grabs. These are the same type of people who think that being A sub means wanting to be THEIR sub - and are angry to be told that is not the case at all.

Worth a snort of laughter, but hardly more than that.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

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Post #: 21

RE: married subs - 8/9/2007 6:24:33 PM

AMADF

Posts: 66
Joined: 7/15/2007
Status: offline

I do agree completely with MsSonnetMarwood who desrves a big clap!!

I dont judge who belongs and who dont in bdsm world, everybody deserves a chance to learn, and the more we know about bdsm the more safety we play, but personally i dont play with married man. The main reason its beacause im single and dont like hiding from no one, and centanly wouldnt hide from my subs wife (somebody whom i dont know and i whos opinion i dont care since she doesnt mean anything to me).

I have had a lot of proposals from married man who claims to be the "víctims" of society: "poor me i do love her and happy with her but need to serve" and always answer: "its not my fault you married a vanilla woman and not a domme" and they always say that they got tired of search and they "have" to get married with someone in order not to be alone the rest of their lives.

So from my point of view the one who surrender search in the first place of what they need where them. So if they were really interested in BDSM, why do they start a vanilla commitment? I know thats not easy, but i know a guy whos 40 and never married, so when ms right come, shes fully available. Actaully she meet recently a girl and might be the right one :)

Other issue its time. Its hard enough to adjust time with 2 working people, to then add the fact that have to go home in order wife dont realize. I agree with last mail, if it was a polyamorous relation where the 3 know and agree in that relation, would be nice, but in my experience they always hide that from wife, and sadly even try to hide it even from mistress: a lot of them will sostain theyre single, with no kids in order to play, and once they got their kink "dosis" then they tell the truth.

So maybe will be easier for married mistress to take a married man, but for singles mistress meand going into a lot of troubles, and some of us think its nor worth it, specially since there are many single slaves around.

Hope this post helps loooking the other side of the mirror.

(in reply to Laure)

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Post #: 22

RE: married subs - 8/15/2007 10:11:25 AM

talltxsub

Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

It's almost like that's the only taboo left. It is strange when people who talk about everything being up to the choice of the individual have that one issue and treat someone like dirt.

Yes, it is frustrating, though a little understandable, and as someone else has said, we are (hopefully) all adults here and grown up enough to take a little criticism and move on.

(in reply to unbroken33)

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Post #: 23

RE: married subs - 8/15/2007 12:15:05 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: talltxsub

It's almost like that's the only taboo left. It is strange when people who talk about everything being up to the choice of the individual have that one issue and treat someone like dirt.

The thing is - when someone is married or has otherwise made a commitment to another person with mutual expectations of monogamy - who they play and sleep with is no longer an individual choice, but a group decision.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to talltxsub)

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Post #: 24

RE: married subs - 8/15/2007 12:29:05 PM

dbapianoman

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/31/2007
Status: offline

hey folks! great chat! i am tired of playing on line with those on a website made to help slaves like me, kneal for a true dominant only to waste time on somebody that comes up with a lame thing like, "I did not realize you are married", when my profile spells out that i am married but have a very vanilla wife. Who after 20+ years of married, iI feel qualified to say she would not participate or condone my secret lifestyle.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

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Post #: 25

RE: married subs - 8/15/2007 12:37:19 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

Actually, your profile says nothing about you being married.

As a married sub knowing that many Dommes do not want to play with married men, yes, it is your responsibility to be upfront with her so she understands and can decide for herself if that's a situation she's interested in getting involved in.

Unless, of course, you're more interested in getting your rocks off than being submissive to her desires and respectful of her wishes.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to dbapianoman)

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Post #: 26

RE: married subs - 8/27/2007 5:57:12 AM

talltxsub

Posts: 173
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline

We all make judgments all the time. I am always straight up about being in a vanilla marriage, and that often results in some interjection that seems to say "it always seems that the ones I'm interested in are married".

There are probably people you would exclude from your search for many reasons (race, appearance, size, etc.), but that doesn't mean that it is necessary to criticize someone for those things, nor does it mean that we should apologize for them.

And yes, I understand that marriage is a choice. Hopefully, we are all grown up enough to make some hard choices. That doesn't mean people will like or respect them.

(in reply to MsSonnetMarwood)

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Post #: 27