ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time for her Mistres?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time for her Mistres?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time for her Mistres?

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time for... - 8/5/2007 1:45:17 PM

Minino

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/24/2004
Status: offline

Hi friends:

THe lady with i am now she thinks that i am a sweet cat-boy , and she told me the last night ..Minino come on¡
she would like to have someone nights with diferents roules .... and believe that i could be a perfect master for her ...
She demand of me more agressive in the sex action and to be more wild with her.

we was talking about it for longer time and we will take the next thursday for one session with the roule changes..

I have alot scary about it ,, but i will do the desire of my Mistress Ofcourse...
I wonder if someone of the friends of collarme had sometime in a similar situation ...
If you could give me a litle help ....

REgards:

Minino.

Minino 37 years old and her Mistress " switch " 22 years old ... thanks

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/5/2007 2:22:25 PM

Einzelganger

Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline

Minino, as I read your post, I noticed it was remarkably similar to a situation in which I was once involved. There was a wonderful woman who was...getting to know me, for lack of a better term...and she demanded that I take a dominant role from time to time. As much as it pained me, I could not do as she asked. It is the reason the relationship fell apart (unlike our friendship), but in my humble opinion, I believe this has much to do with how the submissive views his or her Mistress.

In what light does a sub view his or her Mistress? It could be as a goddess, a queen, a dominant woman, an owner, a superior...there are as many views as there are real submissive men. For me, the loving owner/dominant/superior viewpoints, or somewhere in between, is the best way I can describe my ideals. As such, I'm very uncomfortable performing (or trying to perform) in a dominant role in relation to her, whomever she may be.

It's different at work, around vanillas, where for some odd reason I've found myself in a supervisory position. I don't mind calling the shots there, because my coworkers are my equals. But asking me to behave in a dominant fashion toward my Mistress (whomever that may be) is akin to asking the guy cleaning the toilets on some battleship to give the captain orders. It's not comfortable for me, it's not natural, and unless she's somehow amused by it (or my reactions), I try to avoid it at all costs.

At any rate, just a little food for thought...and good luck. *smiles*

-Einzelgänger

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 8/5/2007 2:23:10 PM >

(in reply to Minino)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/5/2007 4:17:46 PM

MissSCD

Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline

If she asks, you shall do. Think about her needs. The activities are fun for both, but sometimes, we need to take the back seat for a while.
I look at it more as an equal partnership with different duties.

Regards, MissSCD

(in reply to Einzelganger)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/6/2007 10:21:01 AM

LdyScarletDomina

Posts: 118
Joined: 4/22/2007
Status: offline

I'm sure the opinions here will be vast and different.

I am an Owned Mistress. I am a slave girl to my Master and I am a Mistress over my own slaves. But my Master is a switch and occassionally he wants to dress like a woman and be used. As a slave, my first duty is the pleasure of my owner. IMHO if it pleases my master to dress him up as a woman and put on a strap on - then I get great enjoyment out of doing it. But then again, being both a slave and a Mistress, I all ready find satisfaction from dominating anyway.

What you have to decide, OP is what you PERSONALLY are comfortable with. Can you be a switch? Can you be dominant if it means you are making your Owner's needs first? If your need to submit is stronger than your willingness to dominate, then you will have to remind your Owner that you had previously agreed upon roles and you are not comfortable changing them. If that is the case, you may need to find a new owner.

I wish you the best of luck

Lady Scarlet

_____________________________

"Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar." Scarlet O'Hara, Gone With The Wind

(in reply to MissSCD)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/6/2007 10:49:46 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Perhaps if you two talk more you can restructure what it is that she wants in a way that satisfies her but lessens your fear.

For example, what if you thought about those scenes as times you topped her but did not dominate her?

If you are doing it to please her first and foremost that sounds like service to me so I personally see it as being the top not as being the master or the dominant.

But do I know? I don't switch, have zero desire to do so, and frankly as many of my friends and even my slave are switches I cannot honestly say that I understand it at all. Of course with Fox he is a great top but doesn't have a dominant bone in his body.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Minino)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/10/2007 9:32:06 PM

BotanicalMiss

Posts: 82
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline

It sounds to me as though she really doesn't want you to dominate her, but just be more aggressive sexually... which is something I can certainly relate to. I know there are many subs who, because of the way they see their Mistress, have great difficulty with that. However, if you keep in mind that what you are doing is for her pleasure, you are still being submissive to her. And sometimes being submissive means stretching beyond your own comfort level to please the woman you are with. I would be willing to bet that when the time comes, she will be quite vocal in communicating what she wants from you and will direct you as needed to fill her desires. She's actually bottoming from the top, so to speak. When all's said and done, she's still dominating you are you are still serving Her.

(in reply to Minino)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/11/2007 8:24:46 AM

arayofsunshine55

Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline

I agree with botanical miss. More aggressive sexually and wilder sexually are not the same as dominant. Not in my book. It isn't even topping. I don't seek a passive man. I want one who will go for what he wants knowing that I might slap him down if it isn't what I want in the moment. And that we'll both be good with that. And that he can feel free to try something else again. Me running the show doesn't mean he doesn't have desires, ideas, impulses etc. And he can act on them. Cause since I run the show I can choose to agree and join in or change the show to my better liking.

I am also owned. And wild. And pro-active. But I don't top or dominate Daddy.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Minino)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/11/2007 9:31:23 AM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

Its cause a lot of subs think their Domme partner will control the pace, tell them what to do etc etc.

Like in normal sex you tell your partner what you want. Like for eg. I think you should be on top now or I think its time for doggie etc or do you feel like being on top now etc etc.

I try not to take control in sex but I just end up doing it.

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: ask if a sub could be a dominant for a short time... - 8/11/2007 1:36:06 PM

Minino

Posts: 22
Joined: 1/24/2004
Status: offline

Dear Friends:

the night was beautiful , 12 hours go on with two free times for Dinner , JAkuzzy.
Wild as a normaly relation of sex it was sometimes alot comical , but a Dominant men not .
I think that i have to go on in my roule like always and i will try to help and give more than take.
I will try it more...

FEline kiss.
Minino.

PD: it will go on at september in one week in the wood ...ohhhhhhhhhhhh¡ she is Leo and i am Piscis.

< Message edited by Minino -- 8/11/2007 1:51:30 PM >

(in reply to imtempting)

Profile

Post #: 9