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Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your eyes? - 7/1/2005 10:45:45 AM   
getczz


Posts: 12
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: China
Status: offline 		Every Respectable Domme,

As a male sub, i wonder what a male sub is in Dommes' eyes.

Through searching some elaborate profiles of Dommes in the "collarme" and reading some excellent threads of Mistresses in the "collarchat", i have a few ideas about what a male sub is in some Respectable Dommes' eyes. Some Dommes think male subs are not only servants but also friends beside Them, some feel male subs are like the dirt on the soles of Their sandals, and others believe male subs are only sex tools for Them.

Proud Ladies, what is Your thought? It is very kind of You to answer my question.

Thank You for reading. That's all.
getczz

< Message edited by getczz -- 7/1/2005 10:54:32 AM >

_____________________________

i am a male sub from China.


i am kneeling in this pic.
[image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/115946/1843009D014249EFA74A7A111051A63D.jpg[/image]
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/1/2005 11:55:16 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: getczz

Every Respectable Domme,

As a male sub, i wonder what a male sub is in Dommes' eyes.

Through searching some elaborate profiles of Dommes in the "collarme" and reading some excellent threads of Mistresses in the "collarchat", i have a few ideas about what a male sub is in some Respectable Dommes' eyes. Some Dommes think male subs are not only servants but also friends beside Them, some feel male subs are like the dirt on the soles of Their sandals, and others believe male subs are only sex tools for Them.

Proud Ladies, what is Your thought? It is very kind of You to answer my question.

Thank You for reading. That's all.
getczz


getczz, it is like you said, all of the above depending on the Domme and situation, although I have never felt they were like the dirt on the soles of my sandals(the ones I felt that way about I didn't want to be with), and if all I wanted was a sex tool, they make mechanized items for that. Some have been only service oriented subs, some have had sexual aspects also, it depends on the situation and people involved. I can't formulate a better answer than that, because

1) Everyone, Domme and sub, are different,

2) I do not feel that it is specifics you are asking for by sub (because if you were asking sexually about subs and our preferences, I think you would hit a brick wall with most of us, as we do not like to give boys whack off material)

I think you find vast differences, but a majority are looking for some type of relationship(hey, if we didn't like you, why be with you?)

I hope I have helped.....

(in reply to getczz)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/1/2005 12:42:57 PM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		For me.. a submissive male is someone who lives for my pleasure and happiness, they are my friend, and loyal companion. They seek to please me in all things, and strive to anticipate my needs often before I even articulate them. The are fully integrated into my life in all areas, not solely the sexual ones. They may or may not enjoy masochism, or pain, but they will endure it without complaint strictly for my pleasuer. They have a high self-esteem and self worth and know that they are cherished for their loyalty and service to me.

Ms. Eden.

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to getczz)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/1/2005 10:06:07 PM   
ouchthankyou


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		my three cents, (due to inflation):

“To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew [him] to submission in the first place.”
ron

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/1/2005 10:18:37 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: getczz

Every Respectable Domme,

As a male sub, i wonder what a male sub is in Dommes' eyes.

Through searching some elaborate profiles of Dommes in the "collarme" and reading some excellent threads of Mistresses in the "collarchat", i have a few ideas about what a male sub is in some Respectable Dommes' eyes. Some Dommes think male subs are not only servants but also friends beside Them, some feel male subs are like the dirt on the soles of Their sandals, and others believe male subs are only sex tools for Them.

Proud Ladies, what is Your thought? It is very kind of You to answer my question.

Thank You for reading. That's all.
getczz


Of course there are various types of femdoms, but I'm pretty much BDSM-Fetishy-kink oriented femdom. I don't care for service, and I don't think having a man who is focussed on my pleasure -- sexually or otherwise -- is not that much out of the norm for some vanilla guys as well. I mean, these things are nice -- and, in fact, I have them in my current relationship -- but I don't consider any of that to be scratching my femdom itch, so to speak.

My desire for dominance manifests itself in hungers that come around and drive me to fantasize, and act out, various types of domination, bondage, humiliation, pain, etc. I don't know if you would classify this as your "sex tools" category -- but, I'll clarify that I can enjoy all these things without actual intercourse (of course, the "rush" I get from it is sexual or erotic, but the acts themselves are pleasurable in an intense way regardless of whether sex occurs).

I don't have much of a controlling personality, I've never wanted a 24/7 slave. But I've always needed a partner that could let me indulge in my kinky fetishes when the urge hits, and also have a passion to do it in a way that satisfied my needs.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to getczz)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/1/2005 10:27:21 PM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden
For me.. a submissive male is someone who lives for my pleasure and happiness, they are my friend, and loyal companion. They seek to please me in all things, and strive to anticipate my needs often before I even articulate them. The are fully integrated into my life in all areas, not solely the sexual ones.


This is very well stated, and I can say that this part is nearly identical to what I believe. My profile is long and drawn out, but I work very hard at using it to get this message across when people read it. I want the companion and friend. I want a person who has a lot to offer intellectually. I want that person who, by personal mandate, is motivated to seek opportunities to make my life better without constant supervision and micro-management.
If that person and I can have a hell of a good time playing kinky, too, then, miraculously, all the pieces will fit. If not, then so be it, I'll still be very happy.

Purr

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/1/2005 11:56:14 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: getczz
Every Respectable Domme,

As a male sub, i wonder what a male sub is in Dommes' eyes.
getczz

As I consider myself a respectable Domme, I look for a respectable sub;
for me this is one who respects himself, respects me, places my needs and desires above his, and submits to me... There's also the additional qualities like ability to communicate well with me, and mutual chemistry necessary in my intimate relationships..
Also what MaitresseEden said and the quote in Ouchthankyou's response.. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to getczz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 12:07:36 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ouchthankyou

my three cents, (due to inflation):

“To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew [him] to submission in the first place.”
ron

-----------------
chuckling. that would mean, do not again spoil and pamper a domme. stop waiting on her hand and foot. stop cleaning houses and doing their yards.

chuckling.......jeeeeeeeeez. i get to sit on my butt now.......wow cool.

(in reply to ouchthankyou)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 1:12:57 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

chuckling. that would mean, do not again spoil and pamper a domme. stop waiting on her hand and foot. stop cleaning houses and doing their yards.


ah, but that is the point. You would stop doing what you think is right and proper, and start doing what she thinks is right and proper.

You give up evaluating situations based upon your standards, and instead look at things through her eyes. Its not whether you have pleased yourself, but whether you have pleased her.

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 2:49:03 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

chuckling. that would mean, do not again spoil and pamper a domme. stop waiting on her hand and foot. stop cleaning houses and doing their yards.


ah, but that is the point. You would stop doing what you think is right and proper, and start doing what she thinks is right and proper.

You give up evaluating situations based upon your standards, and instead look at things through her eyes. Its not whether you have pleased yourself, but whether you have pleased her.


So nicely put Chris.

Oumae


_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 5:38:35 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		My sub is my friend, lover, confidant, concert-going buddy, and plaything :-)

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to getczz)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 9:18:25 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

My desire for dominance manifests itself in hungers that come around and drive me to fantasize, and act out, various types of domination, bondage, humiliation, pain, etc. I don't know if you would classify this as your "sex tools" category -- but, I'll clarify that I can enjoy all these things without actual intercourse (of course, the "rush" I get from it is sexual or erotic, but the acts themselves are pleasurable in an intense way regardless of whether sex occurs).


I totally respect the "to each her own" veiw of things. The behaviors you describe are more akin with masochistic behavior than submissive behavior, and I totally agree that they do not have to be sexual. In my opinon submission can be with or without masochism, and tends to be more on the cerebral side.

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 9:21:25 AM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

“To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew [him] to submission in the first place.”


One sentence.. 3 questions.

1. Is it really a "learned" behavior?
2. are desires sacrifical?
3. and do desires really lead you into it in the first place? ( or is it intelligence, love, or something else?)

Ms. Eden

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to ouchthankyou)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 12:16:56 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

chuckling. that would mean, do not again spoil and pamper a domme. stop waiting on her hand and foot. stop cleaning houses and doing their yards.


ah, but that is the point. You would stop doing what you think is right and proper, and start doing what she thinks is right and proper.

You give up evaluating situations based upon your standards, and instead look at things through her eyes. Its not whether you have pleased yourself, but whether you have pleased her.



THAT IS the point bud. keeping things clean and picked and orderly is what is EXPECTED...ok? it's what a domestic DOES! ya know?

k- bye

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 12:20:55 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

quote:

“To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew [him] to submission in the first place.”


One sentence.. 3 questions.

1. Is it really a "learned" behavior?*****yes. taught in early years before even going to school.
2. are desires sacrifical?***yes. it was taught to me very young we must all sacrifice one thing to get another. ya can't have it all.
3. and do desires really lead you into it in the first place? ( or is it intelligence, love, or something else?) no love, something else like sex maybe? no...---intelligence? maybe no moreso than being able to know when it's time to clean. and do it right.

thank you.......my spin on it.


(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 12:26:59 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05


quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

chuckling. that would mean, do not again spoil and pamper a domme. stop waiting on her hand and foot. stop cleaning houses and doing their yards.


ah, but that is the point. You would stop doing what you think is right and proper, and start doing what she thinks is right and proper.

You give up evaluating situations based upon your standards, and instead look at things through her eyes. Its not whether you have pleased yourself, but whether you have pleased her.



THAT IS the point bud. keeping things clean and picked and orderly is what is EXPECTED...ok? it's what a domestic DOES! ya know?

k- bye


Who determines what is clean, what is not? When it is done? How it is done? How do you know what is expected?

How much of service is about the manner in which you perform it? After all, she is sharing living space with you. You may be rigid, focussed, anal retentive, but very good at what you do -- she may want someone who is more laid back, cheerful, smiling, and flexible, happy to change things on a whim and not stick to a schedule or strict protocol.

She may want a completely different attitude from both of those above -- someone who listens quietly, takes orders, is out of sight out of mind until the end of the day or at a time designated to spend with him. She may want someone who needs little direction; she might enjoy micro-managing.

All of these are very different "types" of service. If your experiences have molded you into a style that you consider your own and the one you will use, you should clearly describe it when applying for service.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 12:35:33 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05


quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

chuckling. that would mean, do not again spoil and pamper a domme. stop waiting on her hand and foot. stop cleaning houses and doing their yards.


ah, but that is the point. You would stop doing what you think is right and proper, and start doing what she thinks is right and proper.

You give up evaluating situations based upon your standards, and instead look at things through her eyes. Its not whether you have pleased yourself, but whether you have pleased her.



THAT IS the point bud. keeping things clean and picked and orderly is what is EXPECTED...ok? it's what a domestic DOES! ya know?

k- bye


Who determines what is clean, what is not? When it is done? How it is done? How do you know what is expected?

How much of service is about the manner in which you perform it? After all, she is sharing living space with you. You may be rigid, focussed, anal retentive, but very good at what you do -- she may want someone who is more laid back, cheerful, smiling, and flexible, happy to change things on a whim and not stick to a schedule or strict protocol.

She may want a completely different attitude from both of those above -- someone who listens quietly, takes orders, is out of sight out of mind until the end of the day or at a time designated to spend with him. She may want someone who needs little direction; she might enjoy micro-managing.

All of these are very different "types" of service. If your experiences have molded you into a style that you consider your own and the one you will use, you should clearly describe it when applying for service.

Akasha

quote:

you should clearly describe it when applying for service.

Akasha

always try to. IM's and emails and phone calls...i always try to.
pre set up before i even turn over the engine of the van and think about which interstate to hit.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 2:36:31 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden
quote:

“To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew [him] to submission in the first place.”


One sentence.. 3 questions.

1. Is it really a "learned" behavior?
2. are desires sacrifical?
3. and do desires really lead you into it in the first place? ( or is it intelligence, love, or something else?)


Those are interesting questions. Here are my take on them.

Is submission a learned behavior?
I think the desire for submission comes of its own accord, but the actual practice of submission is learned. This might be similar to desiring to play a musical instrument and actually knowing how. 'Talent' can't be learned but it can be trained and enhanced.

Are desires sacrificial?
Not in and of themselves, but since competing desires often are mutually exclusive, choosing one over the other sometimes is required. A person who has reached an opportunity to submit has gotten there by following his desire for pleasure. But submission requires he set aside his pleasure, and choose to follow her pleasure.

Do desires really lead you into submission? (or is it intelligence, love, or something else?)
I think the desire to submit is originally one of seeking out one's own pleasure. I feel a need to submit, and meeting my needs makes me feel good. It brings me pleasure. But the submission requires us subs to set aside our desire for our immediate pleasure. Its a paradox that I think a lot guys never quite get past.

(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/2/2005 2:41:31 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onceburned

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden
quote:

“To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew [him] to submission in the first place.”


One sentence.. 3 questions.

1. Is it really a "learned" behavior?
2. are desires sacrifical?
3. and do desires really lead you into it in the first place? ( or is it intelligence, love, or something else?)


Those are interesting questions. Here are my take on them.

Is submission a learned behavior?
I think the desire for submission comes of its own accord, but the actual practice of submission is learned. This might be similar to desiring to play a musical instrument and actually knowing how. 'Talent' can't be learned but it can be trained and enhanced.

Are desires sacrificial?
Not in and of themselves, but since competing desires often are mutually exclusive, choosing one over the other sometimes is required. A person who has reached an opportunity to submit has gotten there by following his desire for pleasure. But submission requires he set aside his pleasure, and choose to follow her pleasure.

Do desires really lead you into submission? (or is it intelligence, love, or something else?)
I think the desire to submit is originally one of seeking out one's own pleasure. I feel a need to submit, and meeting my needs makes me feel good. It brings me pleasure. But the submission requires us subs to set aside our desire for our immediate pleasure. Its a paradox that I think a lot guys never quite get past.



---------
quote:

our immediate pleasure.

---------
define pleasure. mine is just being able to please, whether it is merely coffee in the morning or if i am digging a garden for a week. just to be able to serve, period, is mine.

what's yours?

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Every Respectable Domme, what is a male sub in your... - 7/3/2005 7:04:37 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I clock in kind of where Aakasha does, I have fetish needs that drive me along, and D/s and service orienteds submission is just another flavor and nuance, it's not the whole story.

I find that different msubs develop differently with me depending on their strengths and talents. So my husband is my sex toy, confidant, houseboy, and slutty eye candy, as well as my partner through thick and thin.

I have a slave who's my humiliation junkie, court jester, and on whom I can rely for just about anything, ever, anytime, a total good egg all around.

I have a switchable bottom who is strong and independent and who feeds my ego soooooo beautifully by simply being the one to take him down. He also understands me in an uncanny fashion.

I guess I view msubs based on what they show me over time.

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 20
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