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how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/6/2007 12:40:27 PM   
SweetyBoy


Posts: 31
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline 		I want to find a Lady, but I do not know what is the best approach. Do Ladies prefer naughty boys who they will train by themselves, or do they preffer naturaly submissive boys?

This is what I think means to be a good boyfriend..
    - Obviously, he does not focus on his sexual fantasies and his selfish wishes. He can sometimes humbly suggest what could make the relationship better, but rather tries to find how to fulfill his Lady wishes. Happy Lady means happiness for him.

    - Keeping the house clear and doing all the housework. Many men are doing various sports to be fit, etc... but why not rather to work on garden rather than going to fitness club? The work would include vacuuming, etc.

    - Taking care about Lady's clothes & shoes, doing the laundry (handwashing when required), ironing, doing dishes

    - Taking care about Lady's body (nails, shaving legs, giving his Lady massage...)

    - Taking care about Lady's convenience (making breakfast, coffee when required, etc)

    - Be patient

    - Says 'thank you' for every punishment and for every reward

    - Never asks for sex.

    - Does not masturbate. If he cannot help himself with this, he should ask his Lady for some solution. It may include a punishment, or wearing a chastity device

    - Also taking care about himself. Is always clean with nice clothes. Wears what Lady selects for him, if Lady wants to be whole body shaven then is shaven, has a haircut what his Lady likes.

      I would ask everyone for their opinion :-)

      < Message edited by SweetyBoy -- 8/6/2007 12:53:14 PM >
      Profile   Post #: 1
      RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/6/2007 12:53:36 PM   
      MisPandora


      Posts: 2911
      Joined: 4/7/2004
      From: Philadelphia, PA
      Status: offline       		Some women are attracted to the "bad boy" whom they must tame, but others wish for someone who says they're submissive to demonstrate submissive qualities and for them to actually show they wish to be pleasing and obedient without having to be clotheslined into submission.

      Your list is very substantial.  I wager that if you stick to your course, you'll find someone to serve in no time at all.  Others could learn and be inspired by this.

      _____________________________

      Pandora
      Ms World Leather 2004
      Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

      "Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

      (in reply to SweetyBoy)
      Profile   Post #: 2
      RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/6/2007 2:08:39 PM   
      thetammyjo


      Posts: 6322
      Joined: 9/8/2005
      Status: offline       		That's a list for a boyfriend?

      Or for a submissive?

      What do you see as the difference if there is one, SweetyBoy?

      What is negotiable on your list?

      For example, I, personally do not care if my slaves masturbate, I find that their own ability to take care of their sexual desires means that if they are used to attend to my sexual desires they can be focused on me and not on their own sexual satisfaction. (others have very different experiences) However, if someone I was training told me that he would like to give me the authority over his masturbation I would take it and I would exercise it -- though it might not be to say "no" but to say "do it this way, on these days".

      Another example is housework. For me and for others its a huge trust issue and control issue to allow someone to do those chores. It took Fox over half a year before I'd let him in the kitchen without my watching his every move. Even now I only allow him to cook once a week.

      _____________________________

      Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

      TammyJo

      Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

      And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

      (in reply to SweetyBoy)
      Profile   Post #: 3
      RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/6/2007 2:10:00 PM   
      MistressDolly


      Posts: 917
      Joined: 8/24/2006
      Status: offline
      quote:

      ORIGINAL: SweetyBoy

      I want to find a Lady, but I do not know what is the best approach. Do Ladies prefer naughty boys who they will train by themselves, or do they preffer naturaly submissive boys?

      This is what I think means to be a good boyfriend..
        - Obviously, he does not focus on his sexual fantasies and his selfish wishes. He can sometimes humbly suggest what could make the relationship better, but rather tries to find how to fulfill his Lady wishes. Happy Lady means happiness for him.

        - Keeping the house clear and doing all the housework. Many men are doing various sports to be fit, etc... but why not rather to work on garden rather than going to fitness club? The work would include vacuuming, etc.

        - Taking care about Lady's clothes & shoes, doing the laundry (handwashing when required), ironing, doing dishes

        - Taking care about Lady's body (nails, shaving legs, giving his Lady massage...)

        - Taking care about Lady's convenience (making breakfast, coffee when required, etc)

        - Be patient

        - Says 'thank you' for every punishment and for every reward

        - Never asks for sex.

        - Does not masturbate. If he cannot help himself with this, he should ask his Lady for some solution. It may include a punishment, or wearing a chastity device

        - Also taking care about himself. Is always clean with nice clothes. Wears what Lady selects for him, if Lady wants to be whole body shaven then is shaven, has a haircut what his Lady likes.

          I would ask everyone for their opinion :-)


          So far so good, young man. Boys - - take note!

          ;D

          _____________________________

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          (in reply to SweetyBoy)
          Profile   Post #: 4
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/6/2007 3:16:32 PM   
          PairOfDimes


          Posts: 324
          Joined: 7/20/2006
          Status: offline           		Different women like different things. Even though different women like different things, I think that personal grooming, patience, and tidiness are fairly "safe," universally appealing qualities, so I would absolutely encourage you to continue down those roads! As for the other things, like helping your lady with her personal grooming and taking care of household chores, those are elective--some people want them, some people don't. You seem to want them, so you should clearly state that when you talk with a dominant woman--many like that, too.

          Personally, I don't care about masturbation, provided it doesn't interfere with things I want to do. I also don't really want my legs shaved--it's easier for me to do it myself, and not really fun to have someone else do it for me. I do like domestic service, although I don't see why that would need to be a substitute for playing sports or going to the gym. Keep in mind, then, that a woman who is mostly compatible with your style of devotion (emphasizing docility and service) might want it to be expressed in slightly different ways--for example, she might like to cook, so she might not want you to cook for her.

          It is worth mentioning that people who describe themselves as you have described yourself have a slight tendency to be fawning and flattering. That's nice in small doses, but can get unattractive very easily. You haven't shown this tendency so far, so this is just something to keep in mind and to guard against.

          (in reply to SweetyBoy)
          Profile   Post #: 5
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/7/2007 2:12:34 AM   
          ineedotk


          Posts: 109
          Joined: 8/17/2006
          Status: offline           		Unfortunately, the vast majority of females I come across in life like the "bad boy" type of guy, reguardless of what they claim to like.

          (in reply to MisPandora)
          Profile   Post #: 6
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/7/2007 7:51:51 AM   
          MaamJay


          Posts: 2101
          Joined: 9/2/2005
          Status: offline           		Well as a list for a sub it comes pretty close to what I have in mind! Granted though how it happens has to be within My parameters ... like TammyJo I am territorial about My kitchen! My sub gets to be assistant and fetch stuff for Me while I cook ... and does the washing up! But I think there should be more males willing to serve domestically and be relatively selfless in terms of their own kinks ... there is a plethora of "do me" boys out there! I would predict that this boy should be able to find a Domme to serve as long as he is sincere in all he has written.

          Maam Jay aka violet[A]

          _____________________________

          Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

          (in reply to ineedotk)
          Profile   Post #: 7
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/7/2007 11:08:23 PM   
          pixelslave


          Posts: 1444
          Joined: 8/19/2006
          Status: offline           		SweetBoy,
          More than anything, I'd ask you what it is makes YOU happy?  If you're not happy doing what you've described, it won't matter in the least that you have a domme to serve!  Do you have other outside interests that you've failed to mention?  Why do I ask?  Because most women want a complete 3 dimensional man; one with whom they can talk and share ideas about other things in this world.  It's been my observation that they tend to prefer men who have confidence in themselves and their abilities; men who have set goals in their lives for themselves as well.  Whether those men are "good" or "bad" boys, I can't say as I can only speak for myself. 
           
          I've found that being honest and having virtues of that sort is very important to women, as well as to my own sense of personal integrity.  I suggest you spend time learning to know thyself and understand what it is that YOU want first.  Once you've spent at least part of the time required for that (it's really a continual process), then it's time to begin doing the work you need to prepare yourself to be ready for the moment when you finally meet the woman who has what you desire.  The work you put into preparing for that moment will reflect the sincerity of your desire for it.  
           
          Most of all, remember to enjoy the process along the way.  That's the best advice I can give you.  Good luck on your journey!
           
           - pixel
           
             Collared to Majik
           


          _____________________________

          Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

          (in reply to MaamJay)
          Profile   Post #: 8
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/9/2007 8:55:41 AM   
          SweetyBoy


          Posts: 31
          Joined: 6/27/2007
          Status: offline           		I am trying to be what I wrote... by I would certainly need some training to accomplish all in the list :-)

          (in reply to MaamJay)
          Profile   Post #: 9
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/9/2007 10:51:17 AM   
          thetammyjo


          Posts: 6322
          Joined: 9/8/2005
          Status: offline
          quote:

          ORIGINAL: SweetyBoy

          I am trying to be what I wrote... by I would certainly need some training to accomplish all in the list :-)


          Very true but knowing what you want to do is the first step.

          Do you have to be able to do all those things on your list in order for you to feel like you are being a good submissive?

          Would you be willing to do more or less? Why?

          Beyond those things what else is there about you that might make you attractive? Mundane skills? Interests? Education? Travel? Humor?

          I'm not asking to be mean, just to get some thoughts flowing.

          < Message edited by thetammyjo -- 8/9/2007 10:52:22 AM >

          _____________________________

          Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

          TammyJo

          Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

          And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

          (in reply to SweetyBoy)
          Profile   Post #: 10
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/9/2007 1:34:34 PM   
          AAkasha


          Posts: 4429
          Joined: 11/27/2004
          Status: offline
          quote:

          ORIGINAL: SweetyBoy

          I am trying to be what I wrote... by I would certainly need some training to accomplish all in the list :-)


          How adorable you are! And Czech? Oh my.

          Akasha


          _____________________________

          Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
          Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

          (in reply to SweetyBoy)
          Profile   Post #: 11
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/9/2007 2:54:16 PM   
          SweetyBoy


          Posts: 31
          Joined: 6/27/2007
          Status: offline           		Thanks AAkasha :-) you look very good too :-)

          (in reply to AAkasha)
          Profile   Post #: 12
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/10/2007 8:08:47 PM   
          MzAri


          Posts: 27
          Joined: 3/4/2006
          Status: offline           		What you describe as a good boyfriend sounds wonderful to me. 

          (in reply to SweetyBoy)
          Profile   Post #: 13
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/10/2007 8:15:28 PM   
          MissMagnolia


          Posts: 3636
          Status: offline           		I like you boy!!!

          If you have an older brother who is just like you, and wants to move to Australia, give Me an OI!!

          (in reply to MzAri)
          Profile   Post #: 14
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/11/2007 11:06:06 AM   
          SweetyBoy


          Posts: 31
          Joined: 6/27/2007
          Status: offline           		Thanks Miss Magnolia :-)
          I like you too :-)

          (in reply to MissMagnolia)
          Profile   Post #: 15
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/12/2007 7:48:39 PM   
          GuidingLite


          Posts: 233
          Joined: 12/10/2006
          Status: offline
          quote:

          ORIGINAL: ineedotk

          Unfortunately, the vast majority of females I come across in life like the "bad boy" type of guy, reguardless of what they claim to like.


          naw you dont know crap about the vast majority. check yourself amigoa. you just wnat to believe what you believe coz it makes you feel better. you dont know plently enuf bitches to talk about vastness. leave the ladies to say their opinion and quit all up tryiing minizmize they opinions and feelings.

          regardless, nothing. puleeze.

          (in reply to ineedotk)
          Profile   Post #: 16
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/12/2007 10:28:18 PM   
          Laura


          Posts: 573
          Joined: 6/22/2004
          From: Ontario, Canada
          Status: offline           		I like a submale with a mind of his own. I don't want a guy who does all the cleaning and household routines. Sharing those would be great but I'd feel I wasn't pulling my own weight if I wasn't contributing. So that would never work for me, in the end I'd wonder which of us was really submissive.

          I don't look for bad or naughty boys. Just men who have their own personality, interests and sense of fun. I'm kind of a goodie goodie myself so the men I find an interest in are on the goodie side too.


          _____________________________

          Bait & Switch - Adult column

          (in reply to GuidingLite)
          Profile   Post #: 17
          RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/12/2007 10:41:28 PM   
          MasterFireMaam


          Posts: 5587
          Joined: 3/1/2006
          From: Charleston, WV
          Status: offline
          quote:

          ORIGINAL: SweetyBoy

          I want to find a Lady, but I do not know what is the best approach. Do Ladies prefer naughty boys who they will train by themselves, or do they preffer naturaly submissive boys

          I don't prefer naughty anything. I want boys and girls who desire to serve and who are confident enough in themselves to ask for what they need (for example, they will ask for a scene rather than being "naughty" and hoping for "punishment").

          quote:

          This is what I think means to be a good boyfriend..
            - Obviously, he does not focus on his sexual fantasies and his selfish wishes. He can sometimes humbly suggest what could make the relationship better, but rather tries to find how to fulfill his Lady wishes. Happy Lady means happiness for him.

            - Keeping the house clear and doing all the housework. Many men are doing various sports to be fit, etc... but why not rather to work on garden rather than going to fitness club? The work would include vacuuming, etc.

            - Taking care about Lady's clothes & shoes, doing the laundry (handwashing when required), ironing, doing dishes

            - Taking care about Lady's body (nails, shaving legs, giving his Lady massage...)

            - Taking care about Lady's convenience (making breakfast, coffee when required, etc)

            - Be patient

            - Says 'thank you' for every punishment and for every reward

            - Never asks for sex.

            - Does not masturbate. If he cannot help himself with this, he should ask his Lady for some solution. It may include a punishment, or wearing a chastity device

            - Also taking care about himself. Is always clean with nice clothes. Wears what Lady selects for him, if Lady wants to be whole body shaven then is shaven, has a haircut what his Lady likes.


              I would ask everyone for their opinion :-)


              your list is nice...but it's my impression that you haven't really thought about the reality. What happens if your Lady can't afford to keep you at home all day and needs you to work for the household? What happens if you find you must have release in order to maintain a healthy mental state? What happens if you never ask for sex and you slowly become convinced that she doesn't want you because she's wanting you to be somewhat aggressive and let her know physically that you find her very attractive? Etc. etc.

              It's REALLY good that you're thinking about all this. But, some of it, you'll need to revise when you meet someone who is a good match. She'll want what she wants. You need to be aware of your needs...and communicate them to her at that time.

              Master Fire

              _____________________________

              The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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              (in reply to SweetyBoy)
              Profile   Post #: 18
              RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/13/2007 12:38:24 PM   
              carsonbizotica


              Posts: 44
              Joined: 8/13/2007
              Status: offline               		OK, here's my two cents, as much as it's worth, not being a woman. I think that OP is missing the truth by a little, and I don't blame him... he's male. I've always said that it's no surprise that men dominated the science/math world for so long, and it has nothing to do with intelligence... or more talent in the field. Men like formulas. They like a+b=c, and they try to apply this everywhere. I'm sure that OP never posted this actually believing that all women, or even all Dommes, like things one way. Truth is, if that laundry list of attributes are what you believe in, the roll with it man. There's going to be bunches of people out there that believe the same, and the trick is to find them. I mean (and I didn't read every*reply) there was at least a couple in there that said "right on!" and that's saying something isn't it? Find your bliss man, and don't give it up. Focus on your own big picture, and don't ever take your eyes off it. See? There I go, being all male and giving you a formula. Truth is... there's just no way of knowing, but if you believe it'll go down that way, then it will man. Everything eventually falls into place. You just have to make sure you're where you're supposed to be in life when that right person walks in.

              Wow, that got really preachy really fast. Sorry to everyone that read that. Have fun!

              (in reply to MasterFireMaam)
              Profile   Post #: 19
              RE: how to be attractive for a Lady? - 8/13/2007 1:12:42 PM   
              MsBearlee


              Posts: 1032
              Joined: 2/15/2006
              Status: offline               		As usual, I think Pixel has come up with more things to think about.  You've done a good job boy...and I think you're on the right track, but you also must be practical...which is what I think Pixel was pointing out.
               
              A really good book you might like to read is: SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude--Principles, Skills and Tools by Guy Baldwin's slave.  I feel this book gives wonderful mental and physical exercizes to practice.
               
              also good is:  Becoming a Slave by Jack Rinella
               
              Good luck,
              Beverly


              Edited to add the book titles are links to Amazon where you can find the books (new or used)

              < Message edited by MsBearlee -- 8/13/2007 1:13:35 PM >

              _____________________________

              A must read for submissives! (click here)

              This one, as well!

              (in reply to SweetyBoy)
              Profile   Post #: 20
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