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Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 3:03:50 PM

Dragonzaymaster

Posts: 72
Joined: 6/18/2005
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To get a gereral concensus from other masters. What if any level of freedom do you allow your subs/slaves to communicate with other masters? I think the feed back is going to range from I totally trust me sub/slave in all situations to I watch him/her like a hawk. My quest is to find the real balance between real trust and paranoia.

Post #: 1

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 4:24:12 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I trust my slave in all situations. She gets emails constantly from Masters who try to hit on her. She tells them she is happily owned. I never worry that she will do any shenanigans behind my back. She is owned by me, and she behaves always.
I would think that if you were paranoid about your sub/slave all the time, your relationship is doomed. If the paranoia is unwarranted, you are the problem. If your paranoia is warranted, your sub/slave is the problem. Either way you got a problem.

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 2

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 5:30:45 PM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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i think that the bond of commitment lies within each person, and no amount of watching is going to affect that. the sub either is or is not faithful. period.

i also think that monitoring (without suffocating) your semi-free sub is a good idea, because it lets her know that you care about her what she is doing and are making sure she is not getting herself into trouble...

i appreciate the freedoms that i have been granted and will try very hard not to overstep the parameters that exist for that..... then again, you know how i am.... lol

but it's not really me! it's bad girl! lol ~ zay

oops, am i even allowed to post on this thread since im not a dom?

< Message edited by zaynab -- 7/1/2005 5:32:35 PM >

_____________________________

zaynab[DM]

quote:

i used to care... but now i take a pill for that

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 3

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 6:27:07 PM

Dragonzaymaster

Posts: 72
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Your words are true Estring. They are indisputable. I have more to say on the subject, however a different topic would be more appropriate.

(in reply to zaynab)

Post #: 4

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 6:50:48 PM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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From my AOL profile:
The measure of an owner is not in what he says no to, but what he feels secure in saying yes to.

Ask yourself why you don't feel secure in allowing her to talk to whoever she happens to be around? Where is the lack of trust?

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 5

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 7:33:53 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

Okay i happily throw my 2 cents in!

Sometimes it has nothing to do with trust or "paranoia" Sometimes it has to do with a lack of judgement on the s/s part. Sometimes it could merely be that the Dom is "training" his s/s and wants no other influences on her at the time. It could merely be, because The Dom feels she has no "reason" to talk to other Doms.

As one who can have poor judgement and be "influenced" this is good for me. BUT as it goes, the ones i do talk to are "monitered". And yeah i've gotten myself into sticky situations where some "guy" befreinds me, and then goes and makes me paranoid about things. For every good thing i say, they've a reason its bad and wrong. i've had conversations where i've defeated each and every one of their "bad" theories until they just hadnt much else to say. Basically its HIS way to help me stay safe as for SOME reason i tend to meet alot of unsafe people. i tend to be a BAD judge of charator, and i also tend to not hold my cards tight enough on the net. (i kind of let loose). Really its a "no stranger" rule. Him being involved also shows that he cares.

and personally i like it. And if there is a Dom, that i know and would like to speak to, i am usually allowed to, unless they get carried away. He says i'm abit naive. IE that guy who couldnf find a munch in orlando and i was all for helping and going with him.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 6

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/1/2005 8:19:51 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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Pet is not allowed to attend munches nor other S&M functions without me. I completly trust her. However, I don't trust other people. Stalkers, followers, and such are everywhere. My pet knows how to say NO! with a knee to the groin but it dosen't always work. So I'm protecting her instead of worrying that she would cheat on me.

I allow my pet to freely chat and message with everyone. But personal encounters will be done with me at her side.

< Message edited by FangsNfeet -- 7/1/2005 8:21:15 PM >

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(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

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RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/2/2005 6:25:24 AM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
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I am not a Master, but I can tell you how what my Master does. He does let me talk with others, and email. This is so I can get some advice and learn more. We are in a long-distance right now, so trust has to be there, and is. I am not allowed to go to munches or play parties though, and I have no problem with that. Watching someone like a hawk only gives negative thoughts to that person. They think that since you don't trust them, why should they be trusted.

perfection

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 8

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/2/2005 7:09:43 AM

Dragonzaymaster

Posts: 72
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Thank you all for the responses so far. My sub most resembles riotgirl. I do not have a cavilier attitude about my property. I was not referring to myself with the statement "watch like a hawk", my eye is is a relaxed watchfulness. What riot and FangsNfeet said is true. The world is full of predators, of the evil kind. I see them in here. Maniupative,cunning, decietful, and purely using with a complete disregard for humans or all life. My sub almost lost her life to one such type. I, like FangsNfeet do not allow my sub to physically participate with anyone unless I am present. Communication is fine within broad limits. Thank you hawk for the suggestion as I took it that, care must be taken but not to be overbearing. I personally do NOT trust the world at large and am very selective in whom I trust or allow in to my circle. Anyone who who is flippant with this is bound to suffer. Paranoia is not a bad quality unless it is obsessive.

(in reply to perfection20005)

Post #: 9

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/2/2005 8:43:56 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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Yeah but doesn't this throw out the whole idea that subs are strong capable women who handle life just fine who just happens to want a relationship with a dominant?

This is all saying "No, she's really not"

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 10

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/2/2005 11:57:57 AM

zaynab

Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
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for me Emerald, yes, it throws that out.... i am strong and capable but handling life just fine? uhmmm...... no, personally, i need my Dom's help for that..... ~ zay

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 11

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/2/2005 12:07:58 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
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I allow my slave to speak with whomever she chooses. The only time I get involved is if the person she is speaking with insists on discussing topics that I deem inappropriate. She is free to attend munches, play parties, etc without me, (Although this has only happened on very, very rare occasions.)

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to zaynab)

Post #: 12

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/3/2005 3:04:11 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline

quote:

Yeah but doesn't this throw out the whole idea that subs are strong capable women who handle life just fine who just happens to want a relationship with a dominant?

This is all saying "No, she's really not"

I ama strong, capable woman but it's a nice feeling to know that I'm being protected and looked after. To be completely honest, 90% of menthat wanted to do someting to me could overtake me, it's nice to know someone cares enought to make sure they don't.

_____________________________

I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

Post #: 13

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/3/2005 6:41:00 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

Posts: 1893
Joined: 6/12/2004
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

What if any level of freedom do you allow your subs/slaves to communicate with other masters?

For me, it has always been finding the right balance between protection and possessiveness.

I feel I have a responsibility to my property to make sure she is kept safe from predators, yet this is often much more effective when it comes in the form of education, rather than isolation.

But then again, I am a poly-lovin' freak without a jealous bone in my body, so ymmv.

Taggard

_____________________________

A most rewarding compliment is an insult from the ill-informed.

My slave: Kat (RainaVerene on the other side) and her website: RainaVerene.com

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 14

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/14/2005 4:17:48 PM

Dragonzaymaster

Posts: 72
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I agree Taggard. Education is by far the best method in any situation. But how do educate people like the 2 men who walked down from the hills in the midwest, went into a mall and just picked 2 ladies to carry home as brides. Well, in their case the police shooting them proved the solution.
Dragonmaster

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)

Post #: 15

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 7/15/2005 4:49:12 AM

JerryInTampa

Posts: 138
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline

Varies. Usually pretty complete freedom there. Exceptions would be made when it's enjoyable to, or if there were an issue (say, too much time online... I really prefer to live in the real world, but being stuck at work gives me a good deal of OL time.)

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 16

RE: Freedom of slaves/subs - 8/3/2005 11:25:44 PM

domm4subf1970

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/31/2005
Status: offline

I can fully trust.

(in reply to Dragonzaymaster)

Post #: 17

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