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RE: The value of silence - 8/7/2007 7:54:09 PM   
rmanrr


Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings
heh heh LA, not attempting to make it a contest but that is one of My all time favorites....and applies in a whole lot of circumstances besides...


_____________________________

Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

"the road untravelled is the loneliest." Me
Courage...the ability to overcome obstacles during the course.
"to be insane is to be original!"...Me

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: The value of silence - 8/7/2007 8:20:30 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
He will occasionally tell me I can't speak anymore, but that is only to annoy me when he feels like watching me do the frustrated kitten dance.

Heehee, mine is the bunny dance.


I have the cutest image in my head of you with a cottentail now...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: The value of silence - 8/7/2007 8:51:13 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

Many years ago I use to be uncomfortable with things like >pregnant pauses during a conversation, having a meal in a restaurant by myself, sitting alone in a house without music or tv on or some kind of noise happening. This was also before I taught myself to meditate and the benefits of relaxing and emptying/quieting the mind for a time.  I also learned that I was not comfortable with myself and in my own skin, hence the reason I had trouble being alone etc. 
Now, I hear so much more when my mind is still and I am not predicting what someones going to say next.. I have no problem with pauses in convos> I like to be reflective and I think I have actually slowed my pace down.  The pace that I think and move and respond verbally.  They are more intentional and calm.
maybe Im just old....shrug ...lol
but I feel more peaceful and more satisfyed by/with simple conversations, peaceful moments and seeing and hearing things around me that were drowned out by chatter and noise before...

Your post reminds me of one of my favorite Kahlil Gibran quotes from "The Prophet":
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime. 
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. 
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.
 
There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.
The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and  they would escape.
And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.
And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.
In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence."
 
Simply beautiful, no?..........luci
 
 

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Cyntilating)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: The value of silence - 8/7/2007 11:08:39 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Without silence, one cannot listen.



Exactly, SimplyMichael.

I would like to add that the less I say, the more I am heard.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: The value of silence - 8/7/2007 11:45:26 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OwnedShylah


Why is silence important in a D/s relationship?


Totally in the spirit of the question here:

When I'm silent Himself can concentrate on senses other than hearing. Maybe he'll have me stand or kneel in front of him and he'll run his fingers through my hair and enjoy it's length or softness. No words needed. Or he'll smell me with his eyes closed and let that sense take the forefront. I like to lay on his chest and just listen to his heart beat. There are also those times when he gives me a command with no words, perhaps just a look or a hand single. He doesn't need to talk to compel me to obey. It's silent communication. Mostly though, it's to just bask in the presence of each other with the rest of the world shut out. I can feel his power without any external signs or words and get giddy just looking at him even when he's not saying anything. Those times he grabs me by the hair and throws me down.. and .. well, you get the picture. Those are very precious to me.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to OwnedShylah)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 12:10:07 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		Silence gives us balance in a world which never stops shouting.

A wise Mistress once admonished and curtailed my feverish inquisitions

concerning a surrender to Her by requiring me to "be still and let it happen".

The unspoken word can reveal a command to obedience we may otherwise

never hear above our own constant questioning. 

chia* (the pet) 

< Message edited by chiaThePet -- 8/8/2007 12:19:50 AM >

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to OwnedShylah)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 5:53:10 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		This is an interesting topic to pop up, OwnedShylah.

Last night as part of Fox's birthday celebration (which continues today with pizza and a movie) I duct taped his mouth shut. It isn't something we do often but it is always very powerful when we do it.

It requires that both of us tune in more fully to each other because body language is the only form of communication. (we haven't yet managed to reach a telepathic connection you see)

It triggers a bit of sadism in me as well because I'll purposely ask questions that he must find a way to act out an answer to.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to OwnedShylah)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 7:47:31 AM   
Cyntilating


Posts: 581
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cyntilating

Many years ago I use to be uncomfortable with things like >pregnant pauses during a conversation, having a meal in a restaurant by myself, sitting alone in a house without music or tv on or some kind of noise happening. This was also before I taught myself to meditate and the benefits of relaxing and emptying/quieting the mind for a time.  I also learned that I was not comfortable with myself and in my own skin, hence the reason I had trouble being alone etc. 
Now, I hear so much more when my mind is still and I am not predicting what someones going to say next.. I have no problem with pauses in convos> I like to be reflective and I think I have actually slowed my pace down.  The pace that I think and move and respond verbally.  They are more intentional and calm.
maybe Im just old....shrug ...lol
but I feel more peaceful and more satisfyed by/with simple conversations, peaceful moments and seeing and hearing things around me that were drowned out by chatter and noise before...

Your post reminds me of one of my favorite Kahlil Gibran quotes from "The Prophet":
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime. 
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. 
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.
 
There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.
The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and  they would escape.
And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.
And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.
In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence."
 
Simply beautiful, no?..........luci
 
 


Luci
yes..absolutely beautiful...thanks so much for sharing that, I hadn't seen it before... 

_____________________________

Cyndi

.."There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. " Edith Wharton

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 9:06:15 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings Celeste,
i can totally relate to your post. i am a poet and a writer but my favorite language is body language
j

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 9:08:30 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Your post reminds me of one of my favorite Kahlil Gibran quotes from "The Prophet":
Simply beautiful, no?..........luci
 
 


Greetings luci,
This is one of my favorite pieces as well...simply beautiful~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 9:15:43 AM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Without silence, one cannot listen.

This was the first that came to my mind. I would add that sound "hearing and speach", is only one form of communication. Hearing only one of our senses. With silence comes observation and awareness through other stimulus, and senses.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 9:29:28 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		The value of silence = louder then any sound you will hear ( reflection inward ) speaks volumes

(in reply to szobras)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 9:34:27 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Silence can be a form of discipline - i don't mean punishment, i mean it more in the way of training or focus.  When a sub is told to be silent her focus shifts from herself to the dom more.  She has to learn other ways to communicate with her gestures and actions, it gives her a chance to become introspective.  Instead of reacting (with words) she has to simply submit, it simplifies the submission and releases her from responsibility. 

Silence is a form of domination, he/she is taking something from the sub (her voice) and he/she gets to experience the sub on a different level, accepting the submission and focusing on the subs service/actions without the distraction of words. 

Silence in this context is a beautiful experience, imo. 

Times to be silent is a whole other matter

i think it's wise to be silent when you know that you are not in control of your emotions and you might say something that you will regret later - on both sides.  Obviously you should be silent if told to be by your dom - for whatever reason.  "The silent treatment" to me is nothing more then manipulation and i don't think healthy in a relationship.  "Treatment" would imply making something better - how is not communicating with your partner making anything better. 

When you really want to learn and listen to someone you need to be silent so you can really focus on what they are saying. 

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to OwnedShylah)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 9:56:25 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		The Value of Silence

A Dominant's silence in a scene or an emotional situation can be thrilling, especially when combined with an unfathomable intense gaze. 

A submissive's silence, can be an expression of his/her lust for the Master's voice and wisdom.

Does this demean or displace the power of a firm command?  Or a delightful squeel, whimper and scream?   Eep, let's hope not!  Silence can be fun and productive just as it can also be damaging  or hurtful, but that could be said of most anything. 

I'm more curious as to who you would be teaching these things to.  Are they new subs?  Is this for a munch to instruct people curious in the Lifestyle?  A mix of lifestyle orientations? 

Knowing your audience is very important.  Perhaps other's could better share their experiences if they had a bit more information to draw upon rather than a vague concept of a class being taught on silence.





(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: The value of silence - 8/8/2007 11:19:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		From Max Ehrmann's Desiderata:

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence."

Silence lets our souls connect, and our energy intermingle.  To be still with one another, and share a moment in which no words are spoken...only eyes locked upon each other, a breath against skin, the scent of our bodies enjoyed, our flavors absorbed...

Words would only pierce such a moment demanding our focus on them and overriding those senses heightened in the silence.

While there is indeed a time and place for words, so much can be shared without them.

(in reply to OwnedShylah)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: The value of silence - 8/9/2007 7:22:04 AM   
felicitousdove


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		The art of silence can be very usefull! How many times have we been to functions and a Dominant was trying to to talk to His/Her Peers and their submissive/s were talking over them? Or trying to be the center of attention? Or...gods forbid, were we the submissives who were doing that?? How did this make the Dominant look?

Being silent allwoing a Dominant to speak with their peers, while we serve thier needs unobtrusively is very helpful.

Likewise silence on the Dominants partis also helpful. How about when He/She has the submissive handle scheduling, appointments and correspondances? If i am on the phone making an appointment- having Him chattering in my ear andinterupting what i am doing, distracting my attention- is going to make my job  serving him alot more difficult.

Then there is the need for both parties to have their own headspaces. There are times when i know he needs to be alone with his thoughts, just as i need to be alone with my thoughts. Not that communication is lacking- but sometimes we each need to work through our own stuff... Badgering him and bugging him and asking him to tell me whats going on is not going to make things 'better'. Anymore than when he badgers and demands to know what i am thinking. While i am his... some thoughts are simply my own, and vice versa.

What about silence in a play scene.. OMG a favorite play scene i had involved me being tied and blindfolded. Then the Master left the room closing the door behind him... (We prenegotiated no words were to be used during the scene and i was not to speak) I heard the door open again, and hands touch me, toys were used on me... I was scared! Who was touching me? Was it him? Was it someone else? Whent he scene ended and the blind fold was removed, it was my own Master... It was a HOT scene.... had i spoken.. or had he spoken, the magic of the moment and the mind fuck would have been lost.

Yes there is an art to silence and knowing when to employ it. Silence can be golden, but then there are times like my last marriage where there was too much silence and we just simply were not bothering to communicate anymore. Silence can be helpful in various aspects of a D/s relationship, but it can also be abused too. Its all about balance.

I hope that accurately answers the question as it was intended?

_____________________________

"I have often heard the phrse: ‘Sub/slaves are a reflection of their Dominants.’ So if our Dominants are strong, assertive, decisive, fully capable human beings, why should we as slaves be any different?"
~felicitous dove {MH}


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: The value of silence - 8/9/2007 7:32:52 AM   
felicitousdove


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Your post reminds me of one of my favorite Kahlil Gibran quotes from "The Prophet":
"You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.
And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime. 
And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered. 
For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.
 
There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.
The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and  they would escape.
And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.
And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.
In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence."
 
Simply beautiful, no?..........luci
 
 


This quote spoke so gently but loudly too me. Thank you for sharing this. Being one who has been prone to nervous chatter in the past, and is continuallynworking to improve ...Wow! I have now, thanks to you, printed this, and laminated it, and it is sitting on my desk as a gentle reminder to me, about the art of silence. Thank you!

_____________________________

"I have often heard the phrse: ‘Sub/slaves are a reflection of their Dominants.’ So if our Dominants are strong, assertive, decisive, fully capable human beings, why should we as slaves be any different?"
~felicitous dove {MH}


(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: The value of silence - 8/9/2007 7:39:02 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		We might get a better discussion if we discussed the value of duct tape......

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to felicitousdove)
Profile   Post #: 58
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