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ExquisiteFeline -> RE: how long do you look (8/7/2007 5:56:20 PM)
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"Looking" and "Waiting" dont fit with me, i dont look for relationships, however i look into relationships. For me using this online service is a means to communicate of subjects that are hard to voice in everyday life, i am usually online researching anyway, and little chat here and there and a look over a forum in between. I like to know what goes on for other ppl, i have a curious mind, and i particularly interested in ppl, and dynamics, it is always intriguing for me.
I have met ppl from online forums and blogs and things, but there was never any intention of forming a relationship with them, however i am friends with some. I think the opportunity of being anonymous, has increased my chances of making friends with ppl i would not have otherwise in real life.
When we are looking for something it can be hard to find... like my mum always says "You cant see the forest, for the trees." You never know, what you are looking for may well be right in front of you, and you never had to go looking for it anyway. Just be open to what is around you, open your awareness, something this society lacks is depth, generally ppl are very surface, i would rather have one or two in depth conversations than 20 about how the weather is. This is where online communication can (or not) open deeper understanding of the self and others, some ppl are far more comfortable revealing themselves through a medium like this. The communication i have had through this site has helped open my awareness, and i am able to more recognize what is already around me as having value or some journey in it.
I think the most exciting thing about meeting someone you have spoke online with for sometime, is that upon actually physically meeting each other, you (apparently) know each other well. At times i have found a certain depth in connection, that may have not been able to come to if we were to meet in the usual way, the pure, direct communication without all the physical interruption, gives opportunity to understand another with out the usual preconceptions, projections, and body communications that we create by physically viewing each other. Its funny that moment, like ten minutes after you have spilled out over each other, and then take that moment to realize... hey we are really just meeting each other for the first time!
Dont go "looking" you are at danger to create projections, and expectations. Sometimes when we want something we see things as we want them not as they are. Be open to all around you, and observant , fully engage yourself, while still remaining somewhat detached, the detached part is the observer. That way you can fully be in the purity of connection with someone, however have your alerts ready, to pick up on any waving red flags, and flashing lights saying "Wrong way, go back!!!"
I am not much into responding to Doms messages in my inbox, that are obviously looking for a sub, meaning sex, i would more respond to "Hey my girlfriend, a few friends and i are going to a club on Saturday night, you sound really cool, and we thought you would be interested in some new friends to hangout with."
Do you have a list of conversational questions to ask that helps define a personality?
Like some of mine: What books do you read? What kind of car would you have if you could have any? What is your favorite foods? What do you do in your spare time? and i always love throwing this one in- Do you breed fighting dogs? It gets some amusing reactions ;) oh and any guy that asks me in the first conversation questions like, do you suck cock or shave your pussy gets immediately deleted after the conversation. I am vary wary of online psychology ;)
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