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nyrisa -> RE: Showing Emotions(men) - a good thing or not ??? (8/8/2007 10:51:09 AM)
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" What is something 87% of men do at least 16 times a year? "
That means that 13% cry less than 16 times per year, and 86% cry more. I have to figure that the upper 10% of men would be real crybabies, and I would have a very hard time dealing with them, just as I would with a woman who breaks into tears if her pantyhose runs or her hair won't curl just right, or if her boyfriend forgot the anniversary of their first date.
I think crying is a very necessary outlet for major loss or stress. I also think happy moments like weddings and graduations (your own or your very close family) are a great occasion for tears. Even the occasional sad movie, fine. This is speaking of both men and women.
But if someone tears up at every argument and disappointment, or dissolves into tears whenever the going gets rough, I would quickly get exasperated. It has been my experience that when one person becomes "the sensitive one" in a relationship, an increased burden is placed on the "stronger" one, who may in fact not be any stronger, just better at reserving their breakdown until the crisis is over.
Now, if this is what the couple wants, and it is emotionally satisfying to both to play protecter and damsel (or lad) in distress, then that is great. But for me, if the balance swings too far and I find myself being the strong shoulder too often while my own heart is hurting, I will lose respect for this person as a capable adult, and will find my feelings transforming into caretaker role, rather than submissive or partner. And if I am caretaker, that means that I am the dominant one. That does not make me a happy camper, in the long run.
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