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MaamJay -> RE: abd (8/10/2007 11:30:09 PM)
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I agree that it's best to look to yourselves for the details. But I can see that having a few others to draw inspiration from can help, it helped me. Some of the aspects to think about could be:
1. Public or private? that's very much a matter of personal preference, there is no "true way"
2. Clothed or unclothed?
3. Pomp and ritual or spontaneous and informal?
4. Key elements you want included? These could include (from sub at least but also possible from the Dominant's side): statement(s) of understanding of what is to be entered into, statement(s) of consent, declaration(s) of allegiance (and love if appropriate), vows and promises, symbolism of chosen collar (which could be also be an anklet, bracelet or ring as much as a physical collar for the neck), giving of "collar" and putting it on, acceptance of sub's leash (if appropriate), kisses and celebrations.
5. Whether or not a written contract will be prepared and signed as part of the ceremony.
Just as an extra bit of help, here is one set of pledges and statements from sub and Dominant that were designed to show the vanilla onlookers that D/s is a 2-way street and that a sub needs to recognise what it is in themself that is being transferred to their Dominant's authority. Use, change or ignore as you wish! For convenience I bolded the Dominant's words.
I, as your Dominant, make the following pledge to you:
I promise to trust you and cherish you, to always place your welfare above all else, to take care of you and your needs as a submissive and to keep good control of you as your heart desires.
I want to help you explore yourself and your boundaries, to help you grow as a person.
I acknowledge that I am human and thus fallible, I know I will make mistakes at times, and I will never be too proud to ask for your forgiveness.
I promise to use the skills of leadership and organisation that I have been blessed with to guide U/us both and to carve out a joyful pathway for O/our lives together. That is why I want to know your thoughts, ideas and opinions, especially before I make a decision for U/us both.
I will continue to help and encourage you to realise more of your dreams.
I promise to treat you with respect and love as befits the man God made to be My partner in life.
sub: Thank You Ma’am.
sub responds: Ma’am, i am creative, courageous and honourable. i have many strengths. i have power, intelligence and wit. i joyfully surrender these qualities to You my Mistress, who knows and cherishes their value.
i offer myself in heart and body to You Ma’am, so that i may be fulfilled by meeting Your needs and helping You to realise Your dreams as You have helped me realise mine.
i will serve You with honesty, valour and trust. i will avoid putting myself first, but not at the expense of my identity. i seek always to clearly communicate my needs and my fears to You. i am Your champion and i will defend You to the uttermost limits of my strength, but, standing before You, i lay aside all defences.
i offer You my trust and respect and i ask You to lead me in turning my weaknesses into strengths, so that i may better serve You.
i ask that You protect me from harm and surround me with Your warmth and guidance when i am faced with my darkest self.
i look to You to have the wisdom to know when to push me to grow, when to teach me discipline and when to show me Your gentleness and mercy.
i trust You to heed my voice and views, to nurture my love and desire for You, to approach my failings with humour, compassion and firmness for the good of U/us both, to bring shape and meaning to O/our lives. In return, i offer You all that i am, in joyful and complete devotion.
Dominant responds: Thank you My love.
sub: Knowing my power, i kneel humbly before You.
Dom: Knowing your power, I stand before you and accept the power you yield to Me.
sub: Knowing my intelligence, i am guided by You.
Dom: Knowing your intelligence, I seek to guide you.
sub: Knowing my creativity, i am inspired by You.
Dom: Knowing your creativity, I seek to inspire you.
sub: Knowing my wit, i gain pleasure from Your laughter.
Dom: Knowing your wit, I share in your laughter.
sub: Remembering my honour, i am loyal to You.
Dom: Remembering your honour, I value your loyalty.
sub: Knowing my courage, i place myself at Your mercy.
Dom: Knowing your courage, I shall be merciful to you.
Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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