Is this so bad.... (Full Version)

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Davesgirl -> Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:11:21 PM)

Ok, I wasnt intially going to post anything about this...But the more I get these messages, the more irritated and upset I get.

Is it really such a terrible thing for my Master and I, who are both brand spanking new to any sort of BDSM lifestyle and a M/s 24/7 relationship dynamic, to learn and grow together? Originally, I hadnt thought it was a bad thing at all. In fact, I thought it the best way for us to deelope. But now, I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?

Thanks, in advance



LovePotionJezebl -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:19:15 PM)

everybody starts somewhere.... You should never let someone who doesn't know you from anywhere dictate how you and your master handle your relationship...

It's great that you are growing in the life together.. *smiles* Good for you



sarbonn -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:19:44 PM)

There's nothing wrong with learning together.

Whenever you hear someone tell you to drop your partner because that partner isn't real to THEM (assuming they believe THEY are better for you), then that should be the first sign that something is wrong...with THEM, not you.



stormsfate -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:20:40 PM)

No, it isn't a vulgar idea. I can't imagine why anyone would feel the need to involve themself in someone else's relationship like that, unless it is for the very reason of making you question your relationship. It is only *your* opinion that counts! Most people have been questioned as to their authenticity at one time or another, but unless its someone they are planning on becoming involved with, I'm not sure why they care.

It amazes me that people are that presumptuous...lol. I do hope you will have confidence in yourself and in the choices you have made and not pay so much attention to strangers posting anonymously that it will upset you to this extent.


best regards,
fate



imtempting -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:28:39 PM)

Everyone has to learn somewhere. Even Dominants



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:34:09 PM)

The only reason I can see why anyone would presume to write to you in that way, and that doesn't excuse it or make it right, is that you do state in your profile that you are seeking guidance since your Master is a naturally dominant person but is unaware of the lifestyle. ANd you are new to this yourself.
There will always be those who will try to convince you, or bully you into thinking that if this is more important to you than to him, maybe they have a way to weasel their way in. They view this as you being more on your own, and they will leap at the chance to interfere and score one for themselves. One of the ways to do that is to say your Master is a fake or "not real".
It's not right. In fact, it's downright rude, but people are going to do that. Maybe a little tweak of your profile would stop some of it?



Davesgirl -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 9:43:07 PM)

Good idea GoddessDustyGold...I just finished updating my profile...Hopefully it will help decrease this...irritation.

I do have to say, that one of the women that has been messaging me, has been, at least, civil. Shes not gotten downright rude and foul about it. So...*Crosses fingers* Maybe theres hope yet.

[:)]



perverseangelic -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 10:15:04 PM)

I like it.

It's worked for my partner and myself. I find we have some pretty serious troubles, but that we are both coming from the same place, mostly. (I have more experience than he, but not in a full-time live-in situation.)

Do what works for you and fuck 'em.



nonuts4thshoney -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 10:56:32 PM)

quote:

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?



Master and i are both learning together as well. i see nothing wrong with this. i have received some messages as well that were negative. You should see the ones Master has received because SHE calls herself Master. Do not listen to what others are saying. i think it's wonderful that the two of you are on this journey together.

-carolyn



Tempestspet -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/1/2005 10:59:48 PM)

There's absolutely nothing wrong, as many above have stated. Just keep in mind, you are on message boards, not face to face. Take what you hear with a grain of salt.

And above all else, follow what you feel to be right for you.

Take care, and good luck!!!

Sincerely,
Tempest's pet
jennifer



Kinkypupper -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 1:25:21 AM)

It is NOT a bad thing it is infact a way WAY good thing. as ther is already trust and caring there..
those who say its not real.. well ever think that THEY are not real ??



onceburned -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 1:33:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Davesgirl
I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.


It sounds like jealousy to me.



fillepink -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 1:43:07 AM)

i used to be in chat here quite frequently, and noticed a phenomeuon -- very pronounced -- in which some men would try/do/say anything to a collared woman to persuade her to return her collar. One of the chief tactics was to attack the woman's Dom or Master. They'd latch onto some characteristic in His profile and say they could fulfill the woman's needs better because of the Dom or Master's "inadequacey". Believe me, if Your Master had 20 years' experience, your email would be saying He's too extreme, cannot form a lasting relationship, etc etc etc.

Make no mistake -- these men do not want you. What they want is the pleasure of knowing they have caused turmoil in the relationship and ^the supreme achievement^ broken up the couple. In short, they are at best, cases of arrested development -- and at worst, just evil little men.

fillepink



[image]local://upfiles/72910/2E982773EB8A4D4DBDA7281BFA45A193.jpg[/image]



FangsNfeet -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 1:58:30 AM)

I find it interesting that so many submissives are messageing you about your dom being a fake. Normally it's other doms who will tell you this so as a way to hit on you and such.

When I see a couple I look to see if they are happy together. After all that's what really counts. Not everything is clear Black and White meaning that not every BDSM couple has to be all Dom and Sub. Whatever floats the boat. If the two of you are happy with what each other is doing then it's none of our business to jump in. My hat goes off to you.



perfection20005 -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 6:02:57 AM)

Don't let anyone tell you who you are, or how to go about getting what you want. We all have to start somewhere, and growing together is fun. I hope you don't listen to others about your Master being a fake, you go with what you know and feel. Good luck.

perfection



slavedesires -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 7:43:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Davesgirl

Ok, I wasnt intially going to post anything about this...But the more I get these messages, the more irritated and upset I get.

Is it really such a terrible thing for my Master and I, who are both brand spanking new to any sort of BDSM lifestyle and a M/s 24/7 relationship dynamic, to learn and grow together? Originally, I hadnt thought it was a bad thing at all. In fact, I thought it the best way for us to deelope. But now, I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?

Thanks, in advance


you know sweetie....NO ONE knows it all.........
if anyone knew it all, they'd be god...well some think they are by their nics..."Lord" poohba,
"Goddess" poohba...etc

but if their ego is taht big, i wonder how they walk through doors! [:@]

i persoanlly see NO SHAME in admitting you need more information, have questions, need advice in regards to being a "newbie" either you or your Dom.

Its those who dont admit they dont know who havent a clue they dont know.

and those subs/slave who claim your dom isnt good enough to be a dom or master, let alone yours ...f**k them..... you know what you want and desire and he fits you, so tell them to take their opinions and stick it where the sun dont shine.

just my opinion

~~shy



slavedesires -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 8:02:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

The only reason I can see why anyone would presume to write to you in that way, and that doesn't excuse it or make it right, is that you do state in your profile that you are seeking guidance since your Master is a naturally dominant person but is unaware of the lifestyle.


In my opinion,"natuarally" dominant doesnt have a thing to do with lifestyle.
To me this means a man who is in control of himself, his world and respects others without trying to be domineering.
A dominant in lifestyle is one who knows how to be dominant to one particular girl (hopefully) and their desires and sexually dominate the scene and relationship.
Now thisis just my take on it.

And if she seeks guidance for her and her Dom, maybe he asked her to. Doesnt make him a weak pathetic wannabe, but a stronger man who admits to his girl his lack of knowledge and asks her for the help cause maybe she has more time, or maybe its her task and her proof of obedience to him.



quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

ANd you are new to this yourself.
There will always be those who will try to convince you, or bully you into thinking that if this is more important to you than to him, maybe they have a way to weasel their way in. They view this as you being more on your own, and they will leap at the chance to interfere and score one for themselves. One of the ways to do that is to say your Master is a fake or "not real".
It's not right. In fact, it's downright rude, but people are going to do that. Maybe a little tweak of your profile would stop some of it?


My dom loves the fact that I have a mind, asks questions, have opinions, am articulate (in fact have been told I am articulate professionally too) and praises the use of my words at times.
So if someone tries to interfer with who I am, he tells me go for it.

Rarely will i start a forum here.... i have learned to search threads and if i find nothing i might a thread....so i just browse threads and pick up information and yes i do pass it on to him at times.

And why tweak a profile if it is who you are?
Be who you are, say who you are and dont let another try to tell you to do something that they feel might be necessary for them or theirs.


~~shy



fillepink -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 8:30:57 AM)

quote:

In my opinion,"natuarally" dominant doesnt have a thing to do with lifestyle.
To me this means a man who is in control of himself, his world and respects others without trying to be domineering.
A dominant in lifestyle is one who knows how to be dominant to one particular girl (hopefully) and their desires and sexually dominate the scene and relationship.
Now thisis just my take on it.

And if she seeks guidance for her and her Dom, maybe he asked her to. Doesnt make him a weak pathetic wannabe, but a stronger man who admits to his girl his lack of knowledge and asks her for the help cause maybe she has more time, or maybe its her task and her proof of obedience to him.


who in the hell are any of us to determine what title the couple should assume for themselves? is a Domme or Dom here holding a measuring stick we all have to go stand by before we can use words like "submissive" in our profiles? what freaking bulls**t.

when drawing up a profile here, presumably a person or couple is doing 2 things; 1st, trying to convey where they see themselves on the D/s roster; and 2nd; what they seek by being on CM.

i have called men fakes in my emails to them for using foul language to me, etc., but i would not "out" them; they may improve their manners or find a woman who accepts that sort of thing. Apart from that, i do not see where anyone else has the right to question or argue with someone else about their choice of title.

if you find yourself posting over and over about the behavior/worth/perfomance of others here on the boards and consistlenty find them lacking -- perhaps it's time to take a break, re-read your posts, and consider whether you might not be trying to puff yourself up at the expense of others.

and yes, i realise i have lit into a few posters here...but harrassing, libelious or hate speech gets my goat.

fillepink

[image]local://upfiles/72910/071B1F9B1D2F4777B3479857A5C92827.jpg[/image]



slavedesires -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 8:48:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fillepink

quote:

In my opinion,"natuarally" dominant doesnt have a thing to do with lifestyle.
To me this means a man who is in control of himself, his world and respects others without trying to be domineering.
A dominant in lifestyle is one who knows how to be dominant to one particular girl (hopefully) and their desires and sexually dominate the scene and relationship.
Now thisis just my take on it.

And if she seeks guidance for her and her Dom, maybe he asked her to. Doesnt make him a weak pathetic wannabe, but a stronger man who admits to his girl his lack of knowledge and asks her for the help cause maybe she has more time, or maybe its her task and her proof of obedience to him.


who in the hell are any of us to determine what title the couple should assume for themselves? is a Domme or Dom here holding a measuring stick we all have to go stand by before we can use words like "submissive" in our profiles? what freaking bulls**t.

when drawing up a profile here, presumably a person or couple is doing 2 things; 1st, trying to convey where they see themselves on the D/s roster; and 2nd; what they seek by being on CM.

i have called men fakes in my emails to them for using foul language to me, etc., but i would not "out" them; they may improve their manners or find a woman who accepts that sort of thing. Apart from that, i do not see where anyone else has the right to question or argue with someone else about their choice of title.

if you find yourself posting over and over about the behavior/worth/perfomance of others here on the boards and consistlenty find them lacking -- perhaps it's time to take a break, re-read your posts, and consider whether you might not be trying to puff yourself up at the expense of others.

and yes, i realise i have lit into a few posters here...but harrassing, libelious or hate speech gets my goat.

fillepink

[image]local://upfiles/72910/071B1F9B1D2F4777B3479857A5C92827.jpg[/image]


point well taken.

Just as you are an attorney fillepink, you have dominant or alpha tendencies. But you would never consdier your self a domme in lifestyle.

my revised, edited profile says, i list myself as submissive, but i am His slave...to another girl, i will be her mistress or sister or whatever "we" all decide on.
it is WIITWD..... that will never change for us.
And no, we might never fit the BDSM "mold" but we dont give a f**k.

By the way..... if i need an attorney, i just might like your style in the courtroom.
How much you charge? [sm=lol.gif]

~~shy



Gauge -> RE: Is this so bad.... (7/2/2005 10:24:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Davesgirl

Ok, I wasnt intially going to post anything about this...But the more I get these messages, the more irritated and upset I get.

Is it really such a terrible thing for my Master and I, who are both brand spanking new to any sort of BDSM lifestyle and a M/s 24/7 relationship dynamic, to learn and grow together? Originally, I hadnt thought it was a bad thing at all. In fact, I thought it the best way for us to deelope. But now, I have recieved numerous messages from other "slaves" telling me my Master is a fake, he's not a real Master, and I should drop him fast as I can.

So..my question is...Is it such a vulgar idea for two people to learn, grow and a relationship develope together? Even if both people are inexperienced?

Thanks, in advance


Experience has nothing to do with compatibility. If you are compatible with him then your relationship will grow. Perhaps it is a blessing that you both lack experience because everything you try will be a new and exciting discovery. Quite honestly, if you put so much value in what a complete stranger thinks about your Dom then you have much to learn about the Internet. If assholes could fly the Internet would be the world's largest airport. It doesn't matter what others think, if you are happy and your Dom is happy who are others to try to pee on your parade?



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