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Switchgirl68 -> Others (8/8/2007 8:30:26 AM)
Is it wrong for me to be upset that my Husband/Master desires to see others behind my back?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 8:34:50 AM)
No, being upset is something that happens. But how do you know he desires to see other people behind your back? Find emails or messages? Best thing to do is get it out in the open and talk about it.

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 8:40:54 AM)
Wrong to be upset?...no, not even alittle. Now about this "behind your back" thing...yeah...now THAT would be wrong in my book....

earthycouple -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 8:42:34 AM)
Of course not. However it is wrong to be upset, don't talk to him about it and seethe about it for weeks on end until you finally blow up. I'd chat with him about it soon.

feastie -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 9:43:20 AM)
Seeing others behind your back constitutes cheating. If you two did not agree or have not discussed an open relationship, then you need to discuss it with him. You also need to consider if it's something you can or will choose to live with.

beargonewild -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 9:59:55 AM)
Might be a wise choice to sit and have an open, honest heart to heart talk with your husband/master to clear the air before risking jumping to conclusions.

mmb1 -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 10:05:24 AM)
Once again, i will say.....................be sure you have your facts straight.

Babybass -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 10:12:55 AM)
i agree with all of the above!! it is not wrong to feel upset - and if it happens behind your back then it is cheating! however - if he has told you of his desires then you should not really be too upset - as long as they are only desires. Anything further has to be agreed upon. If it is only fantasy at this stage and he has told you - then you cannot be upset for a thought he had! If it is more than fantasy and has happened behind your back then you have every right to feel upset/angry/jealous!

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 11:03:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Switchgirl68 Is it wrong for me to be upset that my Husband/Master desires to see others behind my back? Yes, you're being highly unreasonable. Leave your dirty laundry at home. Nobody wants to see it.

Switchgirl68 -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 1:48:52 PM)
The topic has been discussed at length.

adoracat -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 4:29:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Switchgirl68 The topic has been discussed at length. if you've discussed it at length, then you should know the answer. its not unreasonable for you to be upset, feelings just are. its what you decide to do about it that matters. he might go ahead and see others, despite your objections. the question is: have you decided what to do if he does? kitten, who IS in an open situation.

SirMIkeSD -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 5:53:54 PM)
If you have discussed it then is it really behind your back?

arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Others (8/8/2007 9:52:11 PM)
I think it's clear what you think. so why the question?

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 4:34:41 AM)
By the way.....please dont hesitate to ask questions on the forums, thats what its here for. Now you may not get the answers you want...you can ALWAYS ask questions and seek advice if you so desire.

velvetears -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 11:26:51 AM)
If hes doing so behind your back and it's also been discussed at length than i assume the discussion led to your not agreeing to his seeing others when you were not present, maybe not even in your presence. First i would like to ask - are you sure he's actually doing so behind your back or are you perhaps allowing fear to lead you to think so. You know he would like to see others and maybe this has caused you to feel insecure about your relationship with him. If you do have evidence he truly is seeing others behind your back then you have every right in the world to be upset and angry, but you have some decisions to make. You can change your mind because you want to keep him in your life and live miserably with a condition you really don't want or you can choose to leave the relationship if he doesn't stop - but really mean it and desire it if you say it.

Stephann -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 11:33:13 AM)
I guess the question is what does 'behind my back' mean. If it means against a committment of fidelity, I'd be upset. If it's "he wants to have sex with other girls" I'd be like "Cool, bring one home for me!" If I was a chick, that is. Stephan

Padriag -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 11:37:21 AM)
That's been basically my question about this Stephann. Far too little information to comment on the specific situation. Its clear the OP was looking to have an opinion validated, but the circumstances and situation are far too ambiguous for my taste. Seems to be a trend lately, several threads I've seen of this sort consist of questions with very little context.

GhitaAmati -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 11:40:59 AM)
Im confused about the "behind your back" phrase too....to me that means he wants to do it without you knowing about it...yet you say its been discussed at length. Do you really mean that he wants to see others without you involved? Its never wrong to "feel" any emotion...feelings are just that, feelings. Its the actions we take based on those feelings that can be good or bad. Are you really asking if its ok to have certain emotions? Of course its ok, no way it couldnt be..you are human after all (im assuming here of course). Me personally, if Sir wanted to screw some chick without me, Id at least follow along to hold the camera, but thats just me. Now, if I found out he was dating someone else without talking to me about it or at least introducing me to the girl, Id be a bit upset and it may even lead to the end of the relationship. Has he explained to you the reasons behing his "desires"? And you did use the word "desires", is this just something he has a fantasy about? Or something he plans on actually doing. I would never get mad about a fantasy, only about one being acted out upon in a less than honest manner.

Celeste43 -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 2:37:43 PM)
Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. Now if by behind your back you mean he's cheating on you when he promised monogamy, then you ought to be upset. If you didn't care what he did, it would mean you didn't have any feelings left for him.

ProfJoe -> RE: Others (8/9/2007 2:58:48 PM)
Sounds complicated to me ... see the questions above. I note your profile indicates you're looking for submissive females. I'm wondering if that fits into your question. ProfJoe

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