Follow My Lead Question

Follow My Lead Question (Full Version)

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newtothis55 -> Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:14:22 AM)
Seeing I am newer to this, though older in years, i struggle with the "follow my lead" statements some write me. Mind You I have not spoken to them beyond an email or two How can one follow someone they do not even know? I guess my question is similar to the one I asked about "training". To me communication,honor, honesty are things I hold in high esteem. Maybe its more the fact I am new to the lifestyle real life and have a lifetime of experiences non D/s, but no relationship be it D/s, M/s or vanilla stands much a chance without communication. I am intersted in others thoughts for a new sub who is not new to real life, but seems to stuggle with wanting to establish some baseline to form a relationship on.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:23:44 AM)
You have the basics. those core values are important for building trust and your right about the fallowme statments.. what i am a activist on is healthy ds relationships. sometimes we let distructive people in our lives the have no business being there in the frist place. you have to look at each choice you make as being fork in the road.. remeber that not everyones life path is going to be the right choice of someone elses.. but if you do keep to the basic values of which you have stated.. You be more at peace and in more healthy realtionshps

earthycouple -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:26:02 AM)
You asked something similar to this before. You have to decide what your parameters are for meeting/doing/obeying/serving. I personally want to chat online, then on the phone then in person with someone. I don't cyber anything beyond chat. No dominant has the right to dictate to you how slow or fast you go in relating and meeting. This is YOUR life and you choose how to run it up until you find someone with whom you want to exchange power. If people sending emails expect more then move on and wait for someone to come along that jives with your needs. There is someone for everyone and we all have different wants and needs. It is up to you to perserve and stay true to yourself. Let those who want to cyber obey do so. You don't seem to want to do that, so simply don't do it.

Sinergy -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:33:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: newtothis55 Seeing I am newer to this, though older in years, i struggle with the "follow my lead" statements some write me. Mind You I have not spoken to them beyond an email or two How can one follow someone they do not even know? I guess my question is similar to the one I asked about "training". To me communication,honor, honesty are things I hold in high esteem. Maybe its more the fact I am new to the lifestyle real life and have a lifetime of experiences non D/s, but no relationship be it D/s, M/s or vanilla stands much a chance without communication. I am intersted in others thoughts for a new sub who is not new to real life, but seems to stuggle with wanting to establish some baseline to form a relationship on. How does one follow the lead of one the person is dancing with? By paying close attention to that person's energy and diligently trying to sense and follow where one is being led. How does one lead a person one is dancing with? By paying close attention to that person's energy and endeavoring to lead well enough that they can follow one's lead. In both cases, the partners endeavor to overcome and respond to the missteps, without blame, without anger, without accusations. The purpose and goal and meaning is the Dance, not the people dancing. I would say that you should follow your heart and decide if you can find the lead arm and the steps and beat of the Dance. Good luck! Sinergy

mmb1 -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:35:02 AM)
Well having their screen name back to normal helps no??? instead of coming under 25 nicks.

came4U -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:38:40 AM)
"communication,honor, honesty" would be nice, IF you can find them. I have yet to. Internet is an awkward place as is without the complications of 'anon-ability' and the many ways one can just make-believe they are what they say they are. I am not new to life either, but it still surprises me when I am cyber-expected to change my priorities, my staples of environment and yes, values for a total stranger. I cannot. I will not. It is hard to find realness in this (net)form. If you find the loophole on HOW, you be sure to let me know lol.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 10:39:39 AM)
MOST of the guys you talk to online are loser dork dumbasses who have no clue on how to form a solid lasting relationship. But they will do everything they can to convince you otherwise, and to get what they want with as little work possible. One great method is to try and overwhelm you, seduce you, and get you in the habit of not asking questions and just going along with what they want as soon as possible.

came4U -> RE: Follow My Lead Question (8/8/2007 11:18:10 AM)
that too. lol, yes, what she said. (that is what I meant, I just didn't say it) lol

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