Question regarding gentle domination

Question regarding gentle domination (Full Version)

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MstrssJenny -> Question regarding gentle domination (8/8/2007 6:23:54 PM)
Hi. My girl has recently told me that she wants more dominance from me, but not really more cruelty or punishments or rules. Now, I know what she means, kind of, as I must have said similar things to my Master a thousand times... but somehow I'm sort of stuck. I don't seem to be grasping what it is that she needs. Anyone have any ideas/suggestions? Thanks!-- MstrssJenny

OrangeJulius -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/8/2007 6:53:28 PM)
Maybe if you guys aren't doing much "sexual" domination, she wants that, or vice versa. You didn't really say what you guys are doing, so we can't really give much input on what she might want. I know that if I told a mistress to be more dominant, I would probably mean less coddling and "are you okay" and more orders and (big maybe) violence. That's just me though, everybody's different.

Smythe -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/8/2007 9:20:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssJenny Hi. My girl has recently told me that she wants more dominance from me, but not really more cruelty or punishments or rules. Now, I know what she means, kind of, as I must have said similar things to my Master a thousand times... but somehow I'm sort of stuck. I don't seem to be grasping what it is that she needs. Anyone have any ideas/suggestions? Thanks!-- MstrssJenny Rather than trying to figure it out, I would give her the task of writing down what she is imagining, and describing what she wants. Be clear that this is a tool you are using to understand her better, not that she is making a list of stuff you are necessarily going to do. If you are trying to figure out what she wants, then you are doing too much of the work. Smythe

MisPandora -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/9/2007 7:26:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MstrssJenny Hi. My girl has recently told me that she wants more dominance from me, but not really more cruelty or punishments or rules. Now, I know what she means, kind of, as I must have said similar things to my Master a thousand times... but somehow I'm sort of stuck. I don't seem to be grasping what it is that she needs. Anyone have any ideas/suggestions? Thanks!-- MstrssJenny blinks How are we to know what she means by her statement? How about asking her?

yrstocollar -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/9/2007 7:29:46 AM)
I know exactly how you feel! Best of luck...

earthycouple -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/9/2007 6:13:05 PM)
Smythe is on the right track here...we can't answer that...but making her help is a great idea.

undergroundsea -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/9/2007 8:50:36 PM)
I would try to understand through discussion what to her represents dominance and submission (qualitatively and generally versus specifics with perhaps some specific examples as needed--it's not the same if a sub provides a list of specifics) and then use that information. To take a shot in the dark, which is effectively what anyone can do in this thread, I would say choice of words and tone do much to create an air of D/s. Cheers, Sea

DiannaVesta -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/10/2007 3:52:23 AM)
Many submissives crave control. Give her daily task that keep her mindful and have her report to you. I really enjoy an intense dynamic so I create a style of communication when we are together. This is usually all it takes.

MissMagnolia -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/10/2007 4:13:24 AM)
Hmmm, do you live together or just meet sometimes? It really is impossible to guess at whaqt it is she needs/wants, without knowing anything about the relationship. It's up to you to find out from HER. I understand she may not want more punishment or cruelty. I don't know what she means about having no more rules. I have a sub I see every few weeks, but he is required to send Me a txt message every day to wish Me good morning and whatever. He also is not allowed to touch himself for anything other than washing and peeing (orgasm and mind control) and he has a daily ritual where he needs to send an email of his thoughts and feelings at the end of each day. Maybe things like that? It will keep her ever mindful of you and feeling controlled, without too much hardship. Good luck!!

undergroundsea -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/10/2007 6:25:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia he has a daily ritual Rituals and protocol are a good way to express the D/s roles. Cheers, Sea

BlackCountessAZ -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/10/2007 9:37:29 PM)
Turn up the heat on the role play... ham it up more... lay it on thicker, etc.

BlackCountessAZ -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/10/2007 9:39:32 PM)
SHIT, why does it say VANILLA next to My picture ? I HATE VANILLA !!

MaamJay -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/11/2007 1:12:56 AM)
Well Jenny it's hard to know without more input ... can only guess at more authority? Perhaps more control over daily life things? Hard to say, but I agree, get her to write it down in some way or another. Second-guessing your sub is not the way to go imo. And BlackCountessAz ... yeah We all hate the vanilla cones ... keep posting, eventually it will change! Maam Jay aka violet[A]

nick2020 -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/11/2007 3:01:24 AM)
It seems as if the advice here is communication. Mstrss Jenny the subject is "your girl' have her tell You or write down what she wants. This suggestion was made by a number of very experienced Dommes..

SadisticalDomme -> RE: Question regarding gentle domination (8/11/2007 7:14:15 AM)
It is true we can't know for sure where she is coming from with so little info but I know how I initially took it, that she just wants to feel Your presence more, in the little things like perhaps kneeling at Your feet as opposed to sitting by You, or being made to sleep at the bottom of the bed, perhaps an extra task meant to please You that would not fall under a chore, just gentle reminders of her place and Yours, that is how I take it seeing as it stated not more punishments or rules.

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