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Natural progession of submission - 8/8/2007 8:36:23 PM

NewYorkCitysub

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First post here..........I've been thinking about this for a while. How does submission in a sub/slave progress. I am looking for input from all the lovely Mistresses here. Correct me if Im wrong, fisrt as a sub I crave to submit and keep my Mistress/Wife happy. But, I also crave to be humiliated. She already makes me eat my cum, what comes next? Golden showers? Long term chastity? Being dominated infront of other Dommes?
I know there must be some general kind of trend, even though each and every relationship is unique. Anyone care to elaborate?

Thank you.

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/8/2007 9:01:22 PM

SunNMoon

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Hi and welcome,

I just want to say I’m being lazy and not looking up your profile so everything I’m saying is just coming from what you posted.

Firstly, there are no set rules. It is what works best for both of you. So ask her what she would like to do next. Or if you have something in mind let her know your thoughts.

Yup every relationship is unique. I know that wasn’t very helpful, but just go where you both desire and don’t think what others are doing since they aren’t you it doesn’t really matter.

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/8/2007 9:38:02 PM

arayofsunshine55

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From: San Francisco, CA
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I don't think there si some general trend. but that's me. your list would not suit me. Much of it doens't interest me. Just means we wouldn't be compatible. someone else might love it assuming it didnt come across as a to do list or relationship game plan.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/8/2007 11:07:54 PM

NewYorkCitysub

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Maybe I am posting this in the wrong section, should I be posting it in the Ask a submissive section?

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/8/2007 11:37:07 PM

charlotte12

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I think perhaps you might get more of the answer you are looking for from submissives. I know when i first started learning i spent all my time talking to and asking questions of Doms but i have found myself learning a lot from fellow submissives as well.

So this might be ask a Mistress but i will reply anyway (rebel that i am ).

My answer is that there is no set progression. If you desire humiliation then you're going to have to figure out what it is that humiliates you as it's very different for every person. For me personally i know my progression has gone from thinking all i would like were forced or humiliating scenarios to discovering that i have a huge desire to serve and please as well. I've found that things i thought would humiliate me don't so much as other things i thought i would be fine with. I think the key is to look at it more as a process of learning about yourself more than one of learning about submission as defined by others.

Not to say that you shouldn't talk to others. Just remember that ultimately submission means to you what you make of it not someone else.

Wow, i'm tired, hope that made sense

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/9/2007 1:55:35 AM

Politesub53

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There is no one answer to this. Some Dominas will like to have a training schedule, others will just take it as it comes. You will see this reading profiles and reading through these forums.

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/9/2007 5:04:17 AM

TNstepsout

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I think sometimes the concept of progression and the need to reach a constantly higher level of "submission" can put a lot of pressure on a relationship. There is that element within D/s that focuses on meeting challenges, breaking down barriers and stretching and increasing resiliance, stamina, strength and courage. All of this is fantastic but sometimes I think there is too much focus on this aspect and couples forget just to be.

Sometimes progression is just to stop for a while and be and experience wherever you are.

If bringing your Mistress/Wife happiness brings you joy and fulfillment, and your Mistress is happy, then you have succeeded and reached the ultimate goal. Enjoy!

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/9/2007 5:53:25 AM

planomaid

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The quick answer is there isn't.

The actual answer is it depends on you and the partner you are with. A d/s relationship is just like a regular relationship. There are going to be ups and downs, things that work, and things that blow up in your face. You have to constantly work at it, communicate, and above all else, be realistic. Sure, it may seem cool to put on a frilly maids uniform and clean for your partner, but what do you do if she insists you wear it 24/7, wear it to work, to church, etc. Then you get into the reality of things. No matter what exists on the lifestyle side of things, you still have to balance everything you do with the reality of living and functioning in society.

So go do some basic research about the lifestyle and fine elements of it that resound with you and your partner. Find a local group, become more active in the online ones, try some things out and find out what makes life go vroom! for you.

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/9/2007 6:57:36 AM

thetammyjo

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I think if there is a progression of submissiveness it has nothing to do with activities and everything to do with motivation and feelings.

It feels natural when you stop thinking about what you have to do and just do it. It feels natural when dropping out of the Ds dynamics requires effort or feels off to you. It feels natural when you can go about your daily mundane lives but still know and maintain the Ds dynamic without much effort.

Personally in my experience one of the big things that separates someone who is my submissive from someone who is my slave is when that Ds is on and how comfortable I feel giving orders or not giving orders. I think, based on conversations and observations, it's similar to what Fox or others felt as the moved from sub to slave. There came a time when he thought about me and what would represent me in the best light even in his mundane interactions like buying a t-shirt or speaking in class. There came a time when he stopped thinking of me as TammyJo and primarily as Mistress. There came a time when it was near to impossible for him to pull out of his mindset regardless of whether or not his collar was on.

That's when it felt natural to him and I think that is when he knew he was mine for any foreseeable future.

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RE: Natural progession of submission - 8/9/2007 7:12:59 AM

cloudboy

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Not sure I know the exact progressions, but if you find yourself mowing a lawn outside in the suburbs, you've made a wrong turn.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 8/9/2007 7:13:54 AM >

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