RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (Full Version)

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Celeste43 -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (8/11/2007 1:01:19 PM)

I wouldn't ever do that. But I made it clear before we even met that I am monogamous and need a partner who doesn't share either. Poly males and I aren't compatible.

You aren't not submissive if you have limits different than some man out there, it just means you wouldn't be a good submissive to him nor would he be a good dominant for you.

Few things in themselves are right or wrong, it's just an issue of compatibility.



Vampyrefledgling -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (8/11/2007 5:08:24 PM)

I couldn't do it. I want to belong to one man and want him to be possessive enough not to want to share me. You must decide for yourself how you would feel and fine someone who would feel the same. If you think it would be required of you and you're okay with it, rock on. If not, then that is something you need to discuss with your Master/Mistress.

Your level of submissiveness (is that a word?) isn't changed because you have limits. I have had to learn that. You are a submissive no matter what. Having limits makes you simply human.

~Fledgling



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (8/12/2007 7:05:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

This is one of those questions only you can answer. If this is something that would be hard for you, but you could do it without it being a negative experience, maybe. If you would do this only to obey, but would hate the experience, that is wrong. In the latter case, you should make it a hard limit and your Master should know this up front.

My slave and I were talking about this just last night. Being given to another is a hard limit for her. I have no interest in loaning her out, can't imagine I ever would, but assuming just for the discussion that I did want this, I still wouldn't ask it of her.

The reason is that I feel this puts her in a truly impossible situation. On the one hand she wants to oby me; obeying my commands is extremely important to her. On the other hand, she would feel degraded, humiliated, used to be given to someone else. This is a lose-lose situation for her. Her self-worth is too important to me. I want to help build her up, never tear her down.

For a completely different perspective, I have an acquaintance whose Master loans her out on a regular basis. She hates the idea of being loaned out, but once she is with another man, she gets incredibly turned on. Her Master knows her well enough to know the difference between what she says she wants and what she really wants.

So you do have to think this through for yourself. Is this something you really would be uncomfortable with? Or is the idea scary, but the reality intriguing? Only you can know.

Namaste, Sir Dominic
Very insightful...Tempting



FSub77 -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (8/12/2007 7:21:44 AM)

as a slave this is one of my hardlimits and ive spoken with quite a few Masters her on Cm that are cool with this, the idea of being loaned out terrifies me i'd just have to suffer the concequinces cause i wouldnt be able to bring myself to submit to that request 



SubJordanTyler -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (8/14/2007 1:17:49 PM)

As I said before, she was always there to watch over the situation..........but that also made me feel like a whore, and I loved that part of it.  I loved having to serve someone else while she watched, to do my best to please her no matter the situation...........and many times it was sexual.  She'd even collect money from them sometimes, to really humiliate me into feeling like a whore.  And it was never about her making money either.  Sometimes she'd collect as little as $10-20 from each participant..........to make me feel humiliated..........to say that was all I was worth.  As long as I pleased her, I was a happy sub.



biracalsub4wmDom -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 10:39:55 AM)

This is an old post of mine, but I wanted to comment on the feedback I got.
I really appreciate all of the replies, and I've been doing a lot of thinking on this issue sense my post.  I've decided this is definately a hard limit for me.  Like a pp stated, I want to belong to ONE man.  
Being new to all of this, sometimes it is hard to know what your limits are until the situation comes up.  I know very little, but when this scinerio came up, I knew down deep inside this was something I can not do. 
Thanks again.  Reading these replies has really helped.  :)



havingfaith -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 11:16:25 AM)

So glad to hear you have taken the time to understand and make a decision that will be in YOUR best interest! hugs for that :)

my first Master loaned me out once, as a trade thing, and His so called friend kept telling me during sex that i was to tell him that he was better than my Master. i would not and he punished me for it and asked again for me to tell him he was better. Still i would not and got punished again. He then gagged me and went to tell my Master that i was bad and had to be punished for it. Master came in and punished me more without ungagging me to ask the situation. After, i told Him what had happened and He felt so terrible about it. He never loaned me out again but there was always that trust issue over it and we ended up separating.

Now i am happy and i don't think M would ever want to loan me out. Heck He doesn't even let anyone touch me. Maybe if He was there and it was humiliation for His pleasure while He watched, I would be open to that. But never again alone with anyone but M.



missturbation -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 11:21:38 AM)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1233183/mpage_1/key_hire/tm.htm#1233183
Slave for hire

I started this thread and it caused quite a stir lol.
Worth readng though even if i do say so myself.



MstrSkyWoIf -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 11:37:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hi.  i have been reading the threads, and i have been hearing mention of some Doms loaning out their sub/slaves to other Dogs, or other men in general for their sexual pleasure.  is this fairly common?  and do many of you have firsthand experience being "loaned out"?  if so, how does it make you feel?
this is a subject that i have thought about a lot, and i fear that if i am ever asked or told to do this, that i am not going to want to submit to it.  have any of you been asked or told to do this, and really did not want to, but did it anyway?  how did you learn to get past the bad feelings about it?




I am with most of the people who have posted before me, it is a choice you must make for you. I see you have made it a hard limit you will not be shared in a lter post. As for myself no one other then me will ever have the pleasure of  my slave as I value her. I am one Master who does not believe in loving, renting or selling my property.



ownedgirlie -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 1:17:46 PM)

~ FR ~

I have no issue with it, and find the idea rather hot.  But he is not inclined to ever give anyone authority over me in any way.  He might allow someone to top me, if he were there instructing how I was to be topped, lol.  Actually something very similar to that has happened before.  He has been offered money for me ($200 a pop), but because he could not be there to oversee it, he declined the offer.



devotedsylph -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 5:19:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: biracalsub4wmDom

hi.  i have beein reading the threads, and i have been hearing mention of some Doms loaning out their sub/slaves to other Doms, or other men in general for their sexual pleasure.  is this farely common?  and do many of you have firsthand experience being "loaned out"?  if so, how does it make you feel?
this is a subject that i have thought about a lot, and i fear that if i am ever asked or told to do this, that i am not going to want to submit to it.  have any of you been asked or told to do this, and really did not want to, but did it anyway?  how did you learn to get past the bad feelings about it?




I might be reading a bit too much into this, but it is absolutely okay for you to have limits and not be okay with something.  Just be sure to communicate this clearly to your Dom/Master from the beginning.

Personally, I'm definitely a For My Master's Use Only girl.

- sylph



Pyrrsefanie -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 5:28:15 PM)

My Master has brought up the idea of lending me to a good friend of ours, but only if he is present through the whole thing, and definitely not as said friend's slave, temporary or not.  He absolutely draws the line at allowing anyone else to dominate me, and to be honest I'm kind of grateful for that.  I couldn't bear the guilt I'd feel from submitting to someone else, even if he said it was allright.

Some people are into that, though, and I definitely don't look down on them for it -- it's just not my thing.  So if anybody is offended I apologize, that completely was not my intent!

You get bad feelings about something for a reason.  It's usually your psyche's defense mechanism saying "Um, this is going to end badly."  You definitely don't sound happy with the idea, so in my opinion you should make this very clear to your Master.  If he loves you and cares about you he will listen to your concerns and not force you to do anything that legitimately makes you feel all twisted up and sick inside, or could damage you, whether emotionally or physically.  You shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling icky about something!  Underneath that subby exterior, we're all still people with feelings and emotional needs, and those still need to be respected just as much if not more than if we didn't kneel.



beargonewild -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/20/2007 9:38:42 PM)

As a former owned sub, I was loaned out to hs friends for sexual pleasure. This I had prior knowledge that I would be before entering the relationship. When the time came for this to happen, I had mixed feelings about being used as a sexual toy. I did enjoy the sexual encounters yet I didn't like the idea that I had no say in the choosing who I would service, which meant I did service a few of his friends that I personally wasn't sexually attracted to! When this would happen, I would block my emotions and perform like a mindless robot! I do enjoy being shared, I find I have to be in some way, sexually attracted to that person I am going to have sex with. 



whiteslavebitch -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/21/2007 12:05:02 AM)

For me, being shared is a hard limit. Because of some things
in my history, I have to be in control of choosing my sexual
partners.



twistedkytten -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/21/2007 5:07:50 AM)

 I am lucky in that. as of yet, Master has no interest in sharing His property with other men whenever there has been interest by an outside party i am sure to beg and plead against it, and breathe an audible sigh of relief when He assures that He isn't keen on the idea.
Would i if He wanted it? absolutely. Would i like it.. NO.



Lashra -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/21/2007 5:54:21 AM)

The only way I would loan out my male sub is if I was present and if it were service only. By service I mean as in serving food/drinks at a party. Play perhaps with another Domme that I knew very well but no sex, thats an agreement we have as per his request.

~Lashra



toservez -> RE: being "loaned out" to other Doms? (9/21/2007 8:07:27 AM)

quote:

Sometimes it worked out great, sometimes it was boring, sometimes it was excruciating.


That is the reality of it once you get comfortable (not shocked) by the mechanics of the situation.

This is a common hard limit for a good reason as my early experiences of getting this done to me was extremely tough and I could very well imagine it could have gone way wrong or been quickly a hard limit for me.

I can only tell you, and I do not mean this to be in a positive everyone should try it way, that I classify myself as a slave and it is important to give much of me away as I can and this certainly for me is giving up my sexuality to my Master. Nothing comes close in my experiences of feeling that I am truly owned then getting loaned out for sexual purposes.

The effect it has on me is what LA describes in the actual event but the order and after the actual use with my Master have profound affects on me that are positive, but it takes both partners to get something out of it.

Again a qualification that monogamy is not a big deal to me personally only but this has far more mental impact then having sex outside of your relationship.




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