RE: long distance break up (Full Version)

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LATEXBABY64 -> RE: long distance break up (8/11/2007 2:42:15 PM)

grrrrrrrr i swear the way some of you think some time... you wonder why anyone ever get born.. OK wake up call
if you love someone, there will be trials and errors you have to go through.... you know what, IT IS NORMAL. I do not get this this flght or flight thing.. I swear it is like a list of people who are  headed for prozac ville.. when you have love in your life deal with it... know that it is the wonderful thing that is SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN  when you are GROWING with SOMEONE
it is like people on here think it is a bad thing to be in love or  have love like it is some dreaded curse of egypt for crying out loud either make the choice to understand the heart strings of what you build  or just be a swinger and live a lone choice is yours.. be smart do not listen to the bs in the ds ...love takes work just that SIMPLE



imtempting -> RE: long distance break up (8/11/2007 4:12:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SayaNereida

quote:

ORIGINAL: tuesdaycries

for anyone interested, it's over.  the last words i heard were 'fuck you' before the hang up.

thank you all for your advice.

-t


tuesdaycries,
I take this to mean you called and told him?
 
If that's true, perhaps now, take the time to write be it email or snail mail or both.
 
Explain, say all the things you said here and all you did not/could not say to us.
 
Perhaps, if he reads it, it will help him to come to terms with your choice.
 
Good luck and may you find peace on your path.
SayaNereida


Now comes the awkard silence untill normally the dumpee contacts the dumper.



OnlyHis -> RE: long distance break up (8/11/2007 6:15:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

grrrrrrrr i swear the way some of you think some time... you wonder why anyone ever get born.. OK wake up call
if you love someone, there will be trials and errors you have to go through.... you know what, IT IS NORMAL. I do not get this this flght or flight thing.. I swear it is like a list of people who are  headed for prozac ville.. when you have love in your life deal with it... know that it is the wonderful thing that is SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN  when you are GROWING with SOMEONE
it is like people on here think it is a bad thing to be in love or  have love like it is some dreaded curse of egypt for crying out loud either make the choice to understand the heart strings of what you build  or just be a swinger and live a lone choice is yours.. be smart do not listen to the bs in the ds ...love takes work just that SIMPLE


I actually agree with much of what he says here. Life is to short to be second guessing every emotion and every move you think you have to make.  There are many many times we need to just go with the flow and stop thinking so much . imo




OnlyHis -> RE: long distance break up (8/11/2007 6:17:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tuesdaycries

for anyone interested, it's over.  the last words i heard were 'fuck you' before the hang up.

thank you all for your advice.

And really can you blame him.  It is like you gave up on both of you and all you had and what you could of had. Without giving it much thought at all.  Best of luck finding the one you seek.

-t



DiurnalVampire -> RE: long distance break up (8/11/2007 6:27:12 PM)

If you really had loved him, then you wouldnt have been ready to move on just becasue you would have had to wait a year to be with him again.  Angel is going to be leaving for grad school for 4 years. Never once did the idea of moving on occur to either of us. Its hard, but when you have something that good in your life, you dont just give it up for time constraints.
You gave up, and I understand his reaction.  He will likely never forgive you. He was willing to try, and you werent. It tells him he wast all that important to you. Whether or not thats true, that is what hewill likely always think.
Next time you get involved, keep this in the back of your head. People are spearated for periods of time, often, and if you cant deal with spearation from one you love, you are going to have a very difficult time. My exhusband and I were spearated for months at a time, shortly after our wedding. We dealt.  Angel and I are not far apart and are separated for months at a time as well.  We deal.

Now that you have made your decision, and there is likely no going back, make sure when you move foward you do so with the knowledge that you cant be in something that might be long distance. You already know it wont work for you so putting yourself or someone else in that situation would be unfair.

Good luck

DV



EvilGeoff -> RE: long distance break up (8/12/2007 1:05:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tuesdaycries

...  what should i do?


I'm not going to bother reading the whole thread.

But if nobody else has suggested it, try this:

Snail mail.

Hand written.

A few tear stains on the stationary.

It's the only "classy" way to do a LD breakup.  The classic "Dear John" letter.

There is no painless way to do it. Call or write or email.  Phone is quickest.  Snail mail the classiest.  Email or OL forum is the least confrontational and tackiest.

Use whatever method you can live with, because you will be looking in the mirror afterwards, not us.

YIK,
- Geoff



lateralist1 -> RE: long distance break up (8/12/2007 5:47:26 AM)

I prefer mail to phone with an option for me to ring them if I want to.
I've been dumped twice on the phone and I didn't like it.
Unfortunately I didn't have the guts to react how he did.
However if I understand it correctly he dismissed you.
That was the end of the D/s relationship.
What was left were vanilla feelings of love and insecurity on both sides.
It sounds to me from what you have said that he is not ready to take on the responsibilities of a D/s relationship.
It sounds as if he can't even take on the responsibilities of his own life let alone someone else's.
If you are submissive then you should expect your Dom to know what is best for both of you in the relationship. I don't think you respect him enough to trust him with your submission.
Of course I'm only going off what little you have told us.
However it's over now and both of you need to grieve and then move on.
What you need for the future is a mentor in the lifestyle.
Everyone needs someone to talk to when it's impossible to talk to your partner.
To listen and to give advice if neceassary.
I understand why you sought help on these boards but public forums are not the right way.



desiresluv -> RE: long distance break up (8/12/2007 6:17:09 AM)

tuesday..I am hoping that with the progression of time you will find that you did the right thing.  Only you will know for sure, keep in mind though that he said "fuck you" out of anger and hurt.  No one likes to be dumped.  Good luck on finding the right one for you.  Take care..



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: long distance break up (8/12/2007 8:08:52 AM)

there were issues in this relationship.. but there is in all relationships... It is how we work through them that make it last or not.. I do know there is feelings on both sides of the fence.. it is always easier to break up with someone then to make it work.. but the value of making things work makes a relationship stronger..



MasterFireMaam -> RE: long distance break up (8/13/2007 12:17:48 AM)

I think you should call him. It's a sign of respect that you want to interact with him and that you really do care about his feelings. Explain that you simply can't do a long distance relationship and that you don't want him to quit school. If you think it's a good idea, tell him he can look you up when he's finished and moving into your area.

Master Fire



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