Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Explain yourself


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Explain yourself Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Explain yourself - 7/3/2005 11:49:48 AM   
BlouLady


Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Dear Sirs,
I am a baby girl and I really enjoy it. However I have a problem communicating myself to my "Daddy". Sometimes he gets things so right and the sound of his voice really turns me on and makes me feel protected. We have been together nine years and he's my best friend. But we have trouble getting through to each other. This desire, this need that I have to be who I am is very important to me. I'm sorry if I'm not making sense I really am trying. He does well in his role when he's not thinking about it, but usually he asks me to tell him exactly what I want. I try to explain, I want to be held and touched gentle,I want to be firmly not meanly told what to do. I want to be his little girl. I enjoy being spanked and handled a little roughly. I really don't know how else ,or what else to tell him, to explain how to be a Daddy Dom.I just don't know. So if any of you are Daddy Doms and have advice on how I can communicate what that means it would really help.--Thank you

< Message edited by BlouLady -- 7/22/2005 4:18:48 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Explain yourself - 7/3/2005 12:47:47 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hi Blou, I'm clarifying here that your daddy dom is the same as your husband who you were having problems with before? I just want to know since the context will help frame my response.

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Explain yourself - 7/3/2005 5:30:23 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		So what is the problem here?

A. You aren't telling him what you like
B. He isn't understanding what you like
C. He's not doing the things you would like for him to do

If you want something, try asking for it. "Daddy, I'd like to have a spanking. Could you please give me one?" Having questions of that fashion should help. When together you can also say "ohhh I love it when you _______ to me." Hints like that work the best.

Either way, as told to me by my elders; "you love a person for who they are and not for who you want them to be" I seriously doubt you are going to be able to change him and his habbits. However, old dogs can still learn new tricks.

Best of luck as this is the best advice I can give. If the problem dose not go away, it's time to ask Dr Phil.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Explain yourself - 7/4/2005 9:03:08 AM   
BlouLady


Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Emerald, Yes it is my husband.The problems we were having are no longer an issue.We came to a very agreeable compromise,got rid of Ms. Thang and are happy with our life.The current problem is my inablitiy to express myself in a way he understands. He enjoys the role but doesn't real get what I want. I need to learn how to better verbalize and express myself.
Fangs--The problem is he doesn't understand and I don't know how to explain it.-
-
-Thanks,Lady

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Explain yourself - 7/4/2005 9:31:08 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlouLady

Emerald, Yes it is my husband.The problems we were having are no longer an issue.We came to a very agreeable compromise,got rid of Ms. Thang and are happy with our life.The current problem is my inablitiy to express myself in a way he understands. He enjoys the role but doesn't real get what I want. I need to learn how to better verbalize and express myself.
Fangs--The problem is he doesn't understand and I don't know how to explain it.-
-
-Thanks,Lady


You said it yourself: learn how to better express yourself. The best way to do that is to practice. In other words, do it...say what you want to say and if it doesn't come out right or doesn't sink in, try it again.

Bob

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Explain yourself - 7/20/2005 6:14:59 PM   
MasterTemujin


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline 		I would think you could propose a scene to act out. Plan it out, do it, then critique it. Maybe in this way you may get your point across...?

R/S,

Master Temujin

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Explain yourself - 7/20/2005 6:23:32 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		Seek a Daddy Dom therapist and go to counseling together.


_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MasterTemujin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Explain yourself - 7/20/2005 9:38:14 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		I remember a problem my sister explianed to me. She went out so see a guy and make out at his place. They get all comfortable being kissy and touchy like. Then she asked the guy to spank her. He obliged by giving her one light tap on the bum. But some how she mannaged to train the guy to more of her likeing. After all, she ended up marrying the guy.

So far you've been getting good advice on this thread. I'd give them a try. And just because it dosen't work the first time dosen't mean for you to not try it again. After all, there's nothing wrong with a sub becomming a little more aggressive when it comes to there needs.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Explain yourself - 7/21/2005 5:46:44 AM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		I would suggest you find a piece of Daddy/little girl erotica that makes you go, "Ohh, that's it," and let him read it. There will be some that are too harch, some too fluffy and light, another that doesn't have any discipline aspects, etc. But there is a piece out there that articulates exactly how you feel - someone who feels as you do will have spoken.

I believe that providing a voice for others is a primary function of writers, both prose and poetry. Not all of us can get out how we feel, even understand ourselves how we feel. A good writer can speak for us.

I have written a lot of Daddy/little girl erotica, but from your comments, mine would be way too hard to articulate your feelings - but some writer has. It might not even be erotica - it might be a section or scene from a vanilla work.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Explain yourself - 7/21/2005 12:42:01 PM   
BlouLady


Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		If anyone knows where to find that erotica please let me know. It all seems like very sounds advise,and I will have to keep trying. I was concerned about topping from the bottom but it seems as though that may be the only way. Thanks for your help!--Lady

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Explain yourself - 7/21/2005 1:26:23 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline 		I don't know how you could construe honest communication as topping from the bottom - for me, that phrase has always had a connotation of manipulation.

"I love you, and I want you to know who I am in intimacy" doesn't sound at all like topping.

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Explain yourself - 7/25/2005 4:02:30 AM   
zaynab


Posts: 377
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Hi BlouLady,
if you like writing at all, you might try writing out a cyber story of you two together and including exactly how it makes you feel emotionally as well as sexually, with each phrase or action he does...

this is an easy way to help him know what you are thinking and feeling with everything... as you don't have to feel shy about expressing all of that... and you can get as detailed as you like.... just a suggestion... ~ zay

< Message edited by zaynab -- 7/25/2005 4:03:29 AM >

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Explain yourself - 7/25/2005 12:27:57 PM   
BlouLady


Posts: 170
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Thank for the suggestion. I'm going to try it. Wish me luck!!

(in reply to zaynab)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Explain yourself - 7/26/2005 7:07:55 PM   
MistressFire70


Posts: 378
Joined: 7/25/2004
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Does he currently have you keeping a journal? That is a great way to get things out and then re-read them a few days later to refine. Have him read all the entries leading up to the final one.

Fire


_____________________________

you have come to a great chasm. Jump. It's not as wide as you think.

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Explain yourself - 7/26/2005 9:31:11 PM   
EvilTwin


Posts: 50
Joined: 4/13/2004
From: NC
Status: offline 		My Baby Girl tells me "Daddy... "X" makes me happy"... "I love it when you _____"... "Daddy, I didnt do what I was supposed to do... I need a spanking" In the last case... since she LOVES spankings... they are with held.

Communication.
I am Daddy to my Baby Girl. I dote on her.
It took time to step into this role.
I did great while not thinking much about it, but when I tried to make thought out decisions... and not go on my gut instinct... it didnt work as well.
DaddyDom is a twist to the traditional D/s roles. Daddy treats his baby differently than most Doms treat their subs. Not saying better or worse... just differently.
Daddy may be putting too much thought into what the "right" thing to do is.
See if you can get Daddy to react and go on reflex and instinct.
Keep your journal and look over it later and discuss it.
I am betting overthinking is a contributing factor.


Jim

(in reply to MistressFire70)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Explain yourself - 7/29/2005 5:44:36 PM   
MLapis


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		Try searching amazon.com for erotica books...do searches for BDSM or Daddygirl...or any other fetish terms you enjoy...and some books will suggest other books etc etc...and before you know it you have a huge collection!! Try finding some DVDs too! go for the Used choices..I have never found a bad deal there!

Then...read your Daddy the story all snuggled up candles lit etc etc...I love reading to My sub and to have her read to Me as well!!

(in reply to BlouLady)
Profile   Post #: 16
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Explain yourself Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078