thetammyjo
Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Morsigil
These were the answers I was half-expecting. I have been working on my confidence and at any given moment I might by incredibly shy or in complete control of a situation. My experience with first impressions is my concern... Am I going to chase off prospective dommes by being too willful? Attract others with the same trait? I do not want to emulate anyone, because I know that I am an incredibly funny, often shy, but completely independent, and growth minded guy.
I think my messasge was muddied by the state I was in last night. I was trying to get opinions on what dommes, in general, found attractive in a sub, but I already knew it varied person to person: where some women want a catheter wearing object of a man, others might want someone they can live a life of balanced control with, with the man riding on the bottom in bed.
Thanks for the responses.
Frankly I'd say that general politeness will set you apart from sadly many people who show up at munches and other events.
Now being polite isn't a sign of scene role at all but once you are making a generally good impression then you let your contributions to the conversation show your orientation. Maybe it's just me but I have no problem with someone saying "I'm a bottom/sub" and then just continuing along as they would with anyone else at the munch, as an equal contributor.
Dress neatly and physically be clean and neat, think casual business if this is a public event. Treat everyone equally. Don't ignore the male doms or the female subs, don't focus solely on the female doms. Contribute to the discussion by both talking and listening. Ground what you say in your experiences and try to avoid stereotypes or declarations of universal nature. Ask questions but not the type that can be seen as digging for intimate details. Go with the flow in conversation -- this might be a way to do some demonstration of the bottom/sub role you prefer.
Be yourself first and foremost. This is most likely, in my strong opinion, the best way to find a good match.
I can't offer more advice because I don't know you and haven't seen you interact or flirt. Everyone's community is different too.
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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,
TammyJo
Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com
And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/
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RE: Tell-tale signs of a submissive? - 
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