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SusanofO -> RE: My Dom just died!! what do i do??? (4/8/2006 2:49:03 AM)
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You have my sympathy. I have not had a Dom, but from what I know about why I'd want one, I imagine that finding that out might feel like someone stole your warmest coat in the middle of a blizzard.
I have pictures of the two people closest to me that have died in my den at home. It makes me feel like the only thing between us is probably a dimension we humans can't fathom yet. I have talked to both pictures in more vulnerable moments as if those people were still here - and it gave me some comfort (I know it might sound weird but it works for me).
I keep a journal. I'd heard people rave about how this helped them for years but it took me forever to try it. I was amazed how much it helped me sort out my own thoughts. In it I wrote my favorite memories of the person(s) I was closest to who died and also their good qualities and tried to write down why I was important to them (not just vice-versa) because sometimes I may forget I maybe helped them too in their life (I did. I know I did).
The other thing I do (this really does work for me) is: Go watch my dog taking a nap (which is most of the time). My dogs are "care-free" and really know how to relax. It's inspiring and makes me think: If they can do that, maybe I can do that more... So, if you have a pet, they can somehow remind you that, in the end, all will be well.
If you are looking for "coping methods" they are individual of course but: I think a good cry (or several) is worth its weight in gold. A nice relaxing bath with candles and soft music. A day or two doing exactly what you want to do (if you can manage it: Going to a museum or a movie or lunch or shopping or wherever). I never do that - but I did today and it felt great. I know some people don't like being alone, but there are times one may need to just be alone to heal and-or sort of one's own thoughts - so today I spent alone (and really really enjoyed it).
"They" (who Are these people?) say: "Time heals all wounds". I've actually heard that so much I figure it must be true (I'll trust it). But in the mean-time: Rant and cry all you want in the privacy of your own home. My heart goes out to you. Hope you
take things as slow as you need to be able to get through the next few days and weeks. - Susan
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