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Stephann -> RE: May I ask Y/you all something? (8/13/2007 5:09:00 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shysecrets
The thing that gets me is that you are only in the consideration period, how could he even consider a 3rd when your relationship is so new. Adding a 3rd is really really hard even when the original 2 have been in a rock solid relationship for years, But how can you bring 2 subs in at practically the same time. Sounds to me like this Dom is just as new as you are, and is clueless at how to do things.He is most likely just thinking "Cool BDSM I can have as many girls as I want" Which is very common for new Doms who dont know any better. If your not ok with that that is something you have to talk about now, it is something that should have already been talked about, though I understand beeing new you may not have even considered poly as a posability or even known it existed, but now that he brought it up, and you know about it and you know it isnt something you are interested in it is time to speak up, not only do you not have to agree to haveing a sister if you dont want to, but him even thinking about brining in a 3rd already would be a red flag to me.
While I pesonally agree that would be a little early to consider, I'll point out that is is, in fact, a personal expectation.
If the primary relationship is established with both people not just agreeing, but desiring a poly triad, doing so early in the relationship could actually be a very good thing. I'd only say it's a red flag, if a poly relationship had never been discussed, or if the sub/slave had expressed reservations beforehand.
I will briefly add, since I can't tell if the OP has actually met the man in person yet, that establishing a poly relationship before anyone's met face to face can be...disasterous. That he told her on the phone, instead of in person, suggests they haven't actually met in person. Then again, I don't put any stock in online consideration, personally.
My 2 cents.
Stephan
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