New Domme Here! (Full Version)

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AuroraSilk -> New Domme Here! (7/4/2005 8:33:52 AM)



Hello All! I am relatively new in the lifestyle. I am looking for advice from Dominants and submissives alike. I have been looking for submissives, but it seems like after talking for a little bit, they go MIA. I am not sure if I am doing something wrong. I've asked a submissive male friend of mine and he said that I don't "act" to dominant. That could be true, but I don't want to show a submissive all my "tricks" and such in the first meetings! lol I am all about a slow seduction. Have many people run into this kind of problem? Any feedback would be great!



esclava -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/4/2005 8:46:58 AM)

greetings Mistress AuroraSilk,

i think its just an online thing Mistress, some people aren't prepared to move from a fantasy to reality and this causes them to "disappear"

esclava



anthrosub -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/4/2005 8:47:36 AM)

Welcome to Collarme!
No...you're not doing something wrong. There are many reasons why you're having those outcomes. Too many to list and very fluid if you know what I mean. The best thing to do is learn to spot the signs that the person you're in contact with isn't really sincere. Your profile is pretty straightforward and that's not the problem either. I would say it's mostly a matter of sorting through all the online players. I'm sure others will have more to add.

P.S. May I suggest browsing this board and reading other similar threads. This will give you some idea of the issues.

Best wishes on your journey.
anthrosub



Oumae -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/4/2005 8:56:56 AM)

Aurora....Be yourself. There is no point with putting on acts as it would get tiresome. We are all different and there are many sorts of Dom/mes and subs.. being yourself will give you a better chance of finding a sub that suits you and you them.

Enjoy yourself!

Oumae



GentleLady -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/4/2005 9:50:58 PM)

Greetings AuroraSilk.

My suggestion would be to just be Yourself and learn as You go. Your style might change as You learn but so long as You are Yourself and are patient You should find the right submissive for Your needs. The message boards are a valuable (if sometimes confusing) information resource.

Gentle Lady



Focus50 -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 4:54:58 AM)

Wanting to do things your own way is certainly a good start. I'd suggest that the one's who went MIA were looking more for a quick fix, so would you really want them anyway?

From another angle; your profile list of requirements for a prospective sub is really limiting your choices.... And at the risk of inflaming the site's politically correct nazis, I'm kinda curious why a "curvy Black Domme" is so specific about only wanting an older, white submissive. I have no idea of the current racial climate in the US but this has the feel of "issues". Not my business of course but I wonder if otherwise interested white subs have thought that, too - and moved on?

You seriously wouldn't consider, for example, a 30yo, single *African-American* male/sub who's College Educated, Professionally Employed and lives in Atlanta, Georgia?

Focus50.



MHOO314 -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 5:54:00 AM)

well Focus50, I would disagree with the "issues" you may have mentioned, the beauty of the life is-- it is what it is--and many barriers we know "out there" don't exist--"in here"---given that---I agree with what you've been told Mistress AuroraSilk-- it takes time, many online are as --you've been told into the momentary liquid pleasure--be what YOU want to be and remember, just because someone is submissive does not mean they will be submissive to you--works the same way for Dominance---its all the dynamic of the dance, but gain learnings from the passersby as they will help you get closer to defining what you want to be---Best of Luck in your journey--



Faramir -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 8:19:50 AM)

Welcome aboard.

Look, it's hard to meet people online, and part of that is the anonymity of the internet - a lot of folks are here to safely explore D/s - not do it. My personal experience has been about 2/3rds of the woman who I have contact with are not intersted in RL contact, and are just exploring, have a fake pic and persona up to get some attention, etc. But if you keep plugging along with a good attitude you find good people. I've met a ton of people in RL at B.com, mostly platonic friends, but also several sincere submissive women. Hadn't met my "One" yet, but that will happen. I'm new to collarme but I bet it is the same.



AuroraSilk -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 8:49:49 AM)

Thank you everybody for your input! It has really helped me. Focus50 mentioned that I was very specific in my profile. Even though I am relatively new to the lifestyle, I've been around the block to know what I want, and I want I don't want.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 2:30:36 PM)

I've had it happen. It is a part of meeting people online. I mostly find they walk the walk but when it comes time to talk it they can't. I sugest not wasting time expecting anything from online and invest your time in real life meets where time and energy is better spent.



BeachMystress -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 3:02:19 PM)


You should try some local munches. It helps to have some friends r/t, especially when new.

http://www.hotlanta.com/bdsm/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Formal_BDSM_GA/
http://atlcal.homestead.com/files/spirit.htm (discussion group, rather than munch.. probably a GOOD one to attend!)
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SoutheastAtlantaMunch/
http://www.bobandmichelle.com/kpog/atlres.htm
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WHIMPER/
http://www.whippersnappers.ws/

Southern Women's Power Exchange Atlanta - a new all women SM support group forming to have a safe space to come together and play and air concerns in the community for info, email [email protected]



sub4hire -> RE: New Domme Here! (7/5/2005 4:17:34 PM)

I agree, some people just want to remain in a fantasy world. Never venturing past their pc even though they claim they want to.

To comment on you not acting too dominant to them. Why do you need to please other's?
You will be plenty dominant to the person you find. That's all that matters anyway.




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