RE: how do you enforce disaplin

RE: how do you enforce disaplin (Full Version)

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 7:27:30 AM)
Do you mean discipline or punishment? Part of why LDRs are so difficult is that it requires a LOT of internalization on the part of the sub of the orders given and to follow through without that immediate direct response and a LOT of acceptance on the part of the dom that he has to trust and give that lead. If there's a part on either side working- well it's ten times harder to fix than other types of relationships.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 7:49:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Frank50 How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends.. Start the weekend would started off with a 3 to 4 hour beating. I'd start with my hand, move to a wooden paddle, then the crop and end with a cane. As the weekend wears on, smack her on her brusied ass to remind her of her place. On Sunday, strap her down and beat her ass again before you leave and tell her if she fucks up again, it'll get worse. Be prepared to do this every two weeks or so.

breatheasone -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 7:54:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Do you mean discipline or punishment? Part of why LDRs are so difficult is that it requires a LOT of internalization on the part of the sub of the orders given and to follow through without that immediate direct response and a LOT of acceptance on the part of the dom that he has to trust and give that lead. If there's a part on either side working- well it's ten times harder to fix than other types of relationships. Excellent point LA!

Celeste43 -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 7:58:19 AM)
If she doesn't want to do what you say, and she doesn't have a valid reason for this ie family or business concerns, then the problems in your relationship are probably unfixable. Now if you just are talking about keeping the dynamic going on when you can't be there to demand service or play, try requiring essays, journals, emails, snail mails. You could have her take a class in something like belly dancing or baking, so she could show you on the weekend what she learned that week. If you're talking about play, don't bother unless she gets a kick out of hitting herself also. But sending an erotic story is always nice.

SimplyMichael -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 8:10:40 AM)
It is quite simple really. You discipline yourself to become the sort of man she will follow and obey, in short, you lead. Despite the lunacy of MrDiscipline44's post, you can't beat someone into obedience or submission, not as we use the term in bdsm. You must make her want and need to obey and you must give her orders that she can and will obey. Don't order her to fly or you are likely to be disappointed. Don't order her to do something difficult without knowing that you may have to be patient in order to get her where you want her to be. Think of training a wild horse, you don't throw that saddle on day one and expect to ride. You also don't beat the horse in an attempt to break its spirit because then you end up with a broken horse, you WANT that spirit alive. So you make it clear to the horse that your will is stronger and more patient AND that if the horse submits its life will be better and happier. Only when the horse understands that do you throw the saddle on and ride. Submissives aren't horses nor are they children but creating a real d/s dynamic doesn't happen overnight, it grows because you nurture them, you show them how much happier they will be submitting to your will. You do that be leading, by being disciplined, when they roll over on their backs offering sex you say no, not until X is done and done well, THEN you fuck the hell out of them or flog, torment, whatever. I would KILL to have my woman 80 miles away, she is 3,018 miles away across three time zones that take eight hours to fly across, so before anyone goes shitting on long distance relationships, think long and hard about it.

MrDiscipline44 -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 8:39:01 AM)
Thats right. Because everyone is the same and what you propose is the only "true" way to do it. What a jackass. [8\|]

earthycouple -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 8:45:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44 quote: ORIGINAL: Frank50 How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends.. Start the weekend would started off with a 3 to 4 hour beating. I'd start with my hand, move to a wooden paddle, then the crop and end with a cane. As the weekend wears on, smack her on her brusied ass to remind her of her place. On Sunday, strap her down and beat her ass again before you leave and tell her if she fucks up again, it'll get worse. Be prepared to do this every two weeks or so. This coming from someone who calls himself MrDiscipline. People can't be beaten into submission. Either they do it your way or they don't, OP. You can't make anyone conform. You can guild them, help them understand your wants but you can't make them do what they choose not to do. If she doesn't do what you expect I'd reevalute why.

feastie -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 9:07:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Level quote: ORIGINAL: Frank50 How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends.. *I beat her on the ass with a dictionary.......* If she is a "slave", a good one, she should do what you want. Right? Dangit, Level, you nearly hurt me with that one! Problem with that is, I think the wrong end and the wrong one would be hit with the dictionary. [:D]

instynctive -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 9:08:51 AM)
Wow... what I would do for 15 minutes alone with you... and I'm not even talking sexual/BDSM...

leadinghand -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 9:25:35 AM)
As was said earlier, trust is the key to the entire relationship and certainly of the disipline in D/s. I have almost never needed to use punishment that much because my beloved sub wants to serve and do what I want and need. I am sure she would agree that the worst punishment would be to say "Go home." I have never had to say that. If you need a lot of punishment, you are with the wrong person or you are not doing it right.

celticlord2112 -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 9:47:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44 quote: ORIGINAL: Frank50 How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends.. Start the weekend would started off with a 3 to 4 hour beating. I'd start with my hand, move to a wooden paddle, then the crop and end with a cane. As the weekend wears on, smack her on her brusied ass to remind her of her place. On Sunday, strap her down and beat her ass again before you leave and tell her if she fucks up again, it'll get worse. Be prepared to do this every two weeks or so. Extended beatings like that on a recurring basis would ultimately negate their effectiveness as a punishment, if for no other reason the submissive would become inured to the pain. (seriously doubt you could get much worse than a 3-4 hour beating...after that length of time the brain would have released sufficient endorphins to make the perception of pain rather difficult). Punishments which are used frequently are ineffective by definition. When a punishment becomes a regular occurence, a change of discipline tactics is in order.

AquaticSub -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 11:51:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: celticlord2112 (seriously doubt you could get much worse than a 3-4 hour beating...after that length of time the brain would have released sufficient endorphins to make the perception of pain rather difficult). Gotta agree. Once I get past an hour, it really doesn't matter how much longer you wail on me. It has reached the peak and (unless this is a scene for mutual pleasure) the only thing continuing to hit me is going to do is make your arm tired.

servantheart -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 2:14:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael It is quite simple really. You discipline yourself to become the sort of man she will follow and obey, in short, you lead. Despite the lunacy of MrDiscipline44's post, you can't beat someone into obedience or submission, not as we use the term in bdsm. You must make her want and need to obey and you must give her orders that she can and will obey. Don't order her to fly or you are likely to be disappointed. Don't order her to do something difficult without knowing that you may have to be patient in order to get her where you want her to be. Think of training a wild horse, you don't throw that saddle on day one and expect to ride. You also don't beat the horse in an attempt to break its spirit because then you end up with a broken horse, you WANT that spirit alive. So you make it clear to the horse that your will is stronger and more patient AND that if the horse submits its life will be better and happier. Only when the horse understands that do you throw the saddle on and ride. Submissives aren't horses nor are they children but creating a real d/s dynamic doesn't happen overnight, it grows because you nurture them, you show them how much happier they will be submitting to your will. You do that be leading, by being disciplined, when they roll over on their backs offering sex you say no, not until X is done and done well, THEN you fuck the hell out of them or flog, torment, whatever. You nailed it!

domiguy -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 2:29:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: callofzion Yo, y'all need to lighten the hell up. Believe it or not, there are other ways to do things than 'total obedience all the time', some people enjoy the power play, some people enjoy the discipline, and that's okay, it doesn't mean it's any less serious or real than what you are doing. I'm so dissapointed in you all, making your jokes about 'twue' this and 'twue' that, and then leaping all over anything that doesn't conform to a narrow field of expectation. For SHAME! Every time I see your posts, callofzion, I think of calzones......mmmmmmmm....Calzones.

fsslave -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 2:31:06 PM)
Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question??? I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE.

domiguy -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 2:35:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fsslave Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question??? I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE. You are in NY I'm in Chicago.....Put in your buttplug.....Attach your nipple clamps .....And begin to practice deep throating your dildo.....Send me a photo immediately....Call me "Sir" when sending it.....Also it would be a nice touch if you were to go down on your best friend....Tell me how it all works out. Your Dom, Domiguy

celticlord2112 -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 3:11:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fsslave Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question??? I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE. And your answer to the question is....????

earthycouple -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 3:20:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fsslave Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question??? I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE. Huh What? The origional OP with my italicized, underlined and bolded added is below...I'm pretty sure he specifically asked about discipline, not domination. quote: How do you *enforce disaplin* from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends..

Gwynvyd -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 3:29:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: instynctive Wow... what I would do for 15 minutes alone with you... and I'm not even talking sexual/BDSM... chuckles Remind me not to drink my tea and read postings at the same time luv... Can I be a fly on the wall for that one? Hold the vid cam? Can I huh? smiles wickedly Gwyn

feastie -> RE: how do you enforce disaplin (8/14/2007 3:30:39 PM)
This simple fact of the matter is, you cannot enforce discipline long distance. The only thing you can do is hope that your partner is honest enough and has enough integrity to behave in the manner you find pleasing. You should also make sure that you are honest enough and have enough integrity to inspire her to behave in the manner you find pleasing.

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