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RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 7:27:30 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Do you mean discipline or punishment?

Part of why LDRs are so difficult is that it requires a LOT of internalization on the part of the sub of the orders given and to follow through without that immediate direct response and a LOT of acceptance on the part of the dom that he has to trust and give that lead.

If there's a part on either side working- well it's ten times harder to fix than other types of relationships.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 7:49:40 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank50

How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends..
Start the weekend would started off with a  3 to 4 hour beating. I'd start with my hand, move to a wooden paddle, then the crop and end with a cane. As the weekend wears on, smack her on her brusied ass to remind her of her place. On Sunday, strap her down and beat her ass again before you leave and tell her if she fucks up again, it'll get worse. Be prepared to do this every two weeks or so.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Frank50)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 7:54:34 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Do you mean discipline or punishment?

Part of why LDRs are so difficult is that it requires a LOT of internalization on the part of the sub of the orders given and to follow through without that immediate direct response and a LOT of acceptance on the part of the dom that he has to trust and give that lead.

If there's a part on either side working- well it's ten times harder to fix than other types of relationships.

Excellent point LA! 

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 7:58:19 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		If she doesn't want to do what you say, and she doesn't have a valid reason for this ie family or business concerns, then the problems in your relationship are probably unfixable.

Now if you just are talking about keeping the dynamic going on when you can't be there to demand service or play, try requiring essays, journals, emails, snail mails. You could have her take a class in something like belly dancing or baking, so she could show you on the weekend what she learned that week.

If you're talking about play, don't bother unless she gets a kick out of hitting herself also. But sending an erotic story is always nice.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 8:10:40 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		It is quite simple really.  You discipline yourself to become the sort of man she will follow and obey, in short,  you lead.  Despite the lunacy of MrDiscipline44's post, you can't beat someone into obedience or submission, not as we use the term in bdsm.  You must make her want and need to obey and you must give her orders that she can and will obey.  Don't order her to fly or you are likely to be disappointed.  Don't order her to do something difficult without knowing that you may have to be patient in order to get her where you want her to be.

Think of training a wild horse, you don't throw that saddle on day one and expect to ride.  You also don't beat the horse in an attempt to break its spirit because then you end up with a broken horse, you WANT that spirit alive.  So you make it clear to the horse that   your will is stronger and more patient AND that if the horse submits its life will be better and happier.  Only when the horse understands that do you throw the saddle on and ride.

Submissives aren't horses nor are they children but creating a real d/s dynamic doesn't happen overnight, it grows because you nurture them, you show them how much happier they will be submitting to your will.  You do that be leading, by being disciplined, when they roll over on their backs offering sex you say no, not until X is done and done well, THEN you fuck the hell out of them or flog, torment, whatever. 

I would KILL to have my woman 80 miles away, she is 3,018 miles away across three time zones that take eight hours to fly across, so before anyone goes shitting on long distance relationships, think long and hard about it.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 8:39:01 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline 		Thats right. Because everyone is the same and what you propose is the only "true" way to do it. What a jackass.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 8:45:16 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank50

How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends..
Start the weekend would started off with a  3 to 4 hour beating. I'd start with my hand, move to a wooden paddle, then the crop and end with a cane. As the weekend wears on, smack her on her brusied ass to remind her of her place. On Sunday, strap her down and beat her ass again before you leave and tell her if she fucks up again, it'll get worse. Be prepared to do this every two weeks or so.


This coming from someone who calls himself MrDiscipline.  People can't be beaten into submission.  Either they do it your way or they don't, OP.  You can't make anyone conform.  You can guild them, help them understand your wants but you can't make them do what they choose not to do.  If she doesn't do what you expect I'd reevalute why.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 9:07:25 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank50

How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends..


I beat her on the ass with a dictionary.......
 
If she is a "slave", a good one, she should do what you want. Right?


Dangit, Level, you nearly hurt me with that one!  Problem with that is, I think the wrong end and the wrong one would be hit with the dictionary. 

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 9:08:51 AM   
instynctive


Posts: 2726
Status: offline 		Wow... what I would do for 15 minutes alone with you... and I'm not even talking sexual/BDSM...

_____________________________


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(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 9:25:35 AM   
leadinghand


Posts: 23
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		As was said earlier, trust is the key to the entire relationship and certainly of the disipline in D/s. I have almost never needed to use punishment that much because my beloved sub wants to serve and do what I want and need. I am sure she would agree that the worst punishment would be to say "Go home." I have never had to say that.
If you need a lot of punishment, you are with the wrong person or you are not doing it right.  

_____________________________

LeadingHand

When insired by a great and extraordinary purpose, thoughts break their bounds. You transcend limitations, consciousness expands and you find yourself in a new, and wonderful world

The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

(in reply to instynctive)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 9:47:54 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: Frank50

How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends..
Start the weekend would started off with a  3 to 4 hour beating. I'd start with my hand, move to a wooden paddle, then the crop and end with a cane. As the weekend wears on, smack her on her brusied ass to remind her of her place. On Sunday, strap her down and beat her ass again before you leave and tell her if she fucks up again, it'll get worse. Be prepared to do this every two weeks or so.


Extended beatings like that on a recurring basis would ultimately negate their effectiveness as a punishment, if for no other reason the submissive would become inured to the pain.  (seriously doubt you could get much worse than a 3-4 hour beating...after that length of time the brain would have released sufficient endorphins to make the perception of pain rather difficult).

Punishments which are used frequently are ineffective by definition.  When  a punishment becomes a regular occurence, a change of discipline tactics is in order.


_____________________________



(in reply to MrDiscipline44)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 11:51:00 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

(seriously doubt you could get much worse than a 3-4 hour beating...after that length of time the brain would have released sufficient endorphins to make the perception of pain rather difficult).


Gotta agree. Once I get past an hour, it really doesn't matter how much longer you wail on me. It has reached the peak and (unless this is a scene for mutual pleasure) the only thing continuing to hit me is going to do is make your arm tired.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 2:14:57 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

It is quite simple really.  You discipline yourself to become the sort of man she will follow and obey, in short,  you lead.  Despite the lunacy of MrDiscipline44's post, you can't beat someone into obedience or submission, not as we use the term in bdsm.  You must make her want and need to obey and you must give her orders that she can and will obey.  Don't order her to fly or you are likely to be disappointed.  Don't order her to do something difficult without knowing that you may have to be patient in order to get her where you want her to be.

Think of training a wild horse, you don't throw that saddle on day one and expect to ride.  You also don't beat the horse in an attempt to break its spirit because then you end up with a broken horse, you WANT that spirit alive.  So you make it clear to the horse that   your will is stronger and more patient AND that if the horse submits its life will be better and happier.  Only when the horse understands that do you throw the saddle on and ride.

Submissives aren't horses nor are they children but creating a real d/s dynamic doesn't happen overnight, it grows because you nurture them, you show them how much happier they will be submitting to your will.  You do that be leading, by being disciplined, when they roll over on their backs offering sex you say no, not until X is done and done well, THEN you fuck the hell out of them or flog, torment, whatever. 


You nailed it!

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 2:29:08 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: callofzion

Yo, y'all need to lighten the hell up. Believe it or not, there are other ways to do things than 'total obedience all the time', some people enjoy the power play, some people enjoy the discipline, and that's okay, it doesn't mean it's any less serious or real than what you are doing. I'm so dissapointed in you all, making your jokes about 'twue' this and 'twue' that, and then leaping all over anything that doesn't conform to a narrow field of expectation. For SHAME!


Every time I see your posts, callofzion, I think of calzones......mmmmmmmm....Calzones.

_____________________________



(in reply to callofzion)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 2:31:06 PM   
fsslave


Posts: 16
Joined: 8/14/2007
Status: offline 		Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question???  I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 2:35:13 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fsslave

Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question???  I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE.



You are in NY I'm in Chicago.....Put in your buttplug.....Attach your nipple clamps .....And begin to practice deep throating your dildo.....Send me a photo immediately....Call me "Sir" when sending it.....Also it would be a nice touch if you were to go down on your best friend....Tell me how it all works out. 

Your Dom,

Domiguy

_____________________________



(in reply to fsslave)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 3:11:40 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fsslave

Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question???  I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE.



And your answer to the question is....????


_____________________________



(in reply to fsslave)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 3:20:27 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fsslave

Could we please stop picking on the typographical errors and answer the question???  I believe this frustrated Master was asking how to DOMINATE long distance, not how to DISCIPLINE.



Huh What?  The origional OP with my italicized, underlined and bolded added is below...I'm pretty sure he specifically asked about discipline, not domination.

quote:


How do you enforce disaplin from 85 miles away, my slave are part time right now and I do get to see her on the weekends..


_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to fsslave)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 3:29:33 PM   
Gwynvyd


Posts: 4949
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: instynctive

Wow... what I would do for 15 minutes alone with you... and I'm not even talking sexual/BDSM...


*chuckles* Remind me not to drink my tea and read postings at the same time luv... Can I be a fly on the wall for that one? Hold the vid cam? Can I huh?

*smiles wickedly*

Gwyn

(in reply to instynctive)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how do you enforce disaplin - 8/14/2007 3:30:39 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		This simple fact of the matter is, you cannot enforce discipline long distance.  The only thing you can do is hope that your partner is honest enough and has enough integrity to behave in the manner you find pleasing.  You should also make sure that you are honest enough and have enough integrity to inspire her to behave in the manner you find pleasing.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 40
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