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needing good advice - 7/4/2005 2:10:46 PM

MsShala

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Joined: 6/6/2005
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what is the difference between sub/slave, and a switch?

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RE: needing good advice - 7/4/2005 2:23:16 PM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsShala

what is the difference between sub/slave, and a switch?

I know what the difference is for Us.
Have you searched on the site before asking?
General BDSM dictionary available from several well written posters if you browse the boards.
Many opinions abound.
But it comes down to what works for you.

~~shy {submissive, His slave, her mistress, NOT a switch}

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i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

(in reply to MsShala)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/4/2005 3:57:00 PM

Euryanx

Posts: 96
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Los Angeles, CA
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A sub/slave is someone that gives over control of their life to their Mistress or Master.

A switch is someone that can play either the Dom and submissive role. If the switch is with a Dominant in one relationship, they could take on the role of the submissive, and if a year later they partner with a submissive, they could take on the role of the Dom. A switch could also partner with another switch, and they could take turns playing either role depending on their moods, toss of a coin, or whatever their arrangement is.

(in reply to MsShala)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/4/2005 4:26:41 PM

wolfspirits

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Yep, Thats It!

(in reply to Euryanx)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/4/2005 4:31:42 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Everyone has their own definition, this is the constant topic.

My tongue in cheek answer is that subs have at least 3 orgasms a night, slaves have at least 4 and switches are too busy taking care of everyone else to have an orgasm.

(in reply to MsShala)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/4/2005 7:35:59 PM

dominmd

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Good Answer.

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/4/2005 8:05:36 PM

LadyAngelika

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Damn Em!!! You only have 4 orgasms a night? Your Master is doing something wrong. He should have a slave girl like you cumming at least twice in the morning, once at lunch and a minimum of a half dozen times in the evenings. I mean what the hell else are bitches like you good for, if not cumming!

*wiggles her tongue in her cheek*

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/5/2005 5:43:10 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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LOL what is it with everyone not seeing the "at least"? I tell that joke a couple of times a month and without fail, someone asks "only 4?"

:P

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/5/2005 6:20:25 AM

LadyAngelika

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because I'm thinking that's low, even for a minimum!! ;)

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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RE: needing good advice - 7/5/2005 11:31:56 AM

lonewolf05

Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Euryanx

A sub/slave is someone that gives over control of their life to their Mistress or Master.

A switch is someone that can play either the Dom and submissive role. If the switch is with a Dominant in one relationship, they could take on the role of the submissive, and if a year later they partner with a submissive, they could take on the role of the Dom. A switch could also partner with another switch, and they could take turns playing either role depending on their moods, toss of a coin, or whatever their arrangement is.

----------------

quote:

A sub/slave is someone that gives over control of their life to their Mistress or Master.

---------------
oh jeeeeeeeez. ok. MY 2 cents? subs give what they want temporary. slaves are full time.
switch is just that. a sub and a dom/me.....

ok. the wolf.

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to Euryanx)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/5/2005 11:33:55 AM

lonewolf05

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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

LOL what is it with everyone not seeing the "at least"? I tell that joke a couple of times a month and without fail, someone asks "only 4?"

:P

=============
sorry. not much of a jokester. my humble apologies.
the wolf

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/5/2005 3:50:50 PM

MaitresseEden

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From: Houston, Texas
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one thing about switching, it is imperative to explain to people what you are switching between.. you can be a masochist and not a submisiive, and you can be a Dominant but not a sadist. I know some people who switch sensations.. they are dominants who like on occassion to be flogged.. so they switch between being a dominant and being a masochist.. but they are never a submissive.

Ms. Eden

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"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to Euryanx)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/5/2005 4:44:40 PM

MstrssPassion

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From: West Palm Beach, FL
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To the original poster...

You can ask that question 1000 times & you will get 1000 different answers.

So here is yet one of those thousand responses you will receive <wink>

I am one of those that don’t believe in "slaves" & before I get blasted from all directions... I say this because to me a slave would be someone that has been conditioned since they took their first breath that their only role in life would be to serve. I just do not think that the general population at age 20, 30, 40 or over is capable of switching off years of having choices & making choices for themselves & give that complete power to another. Talk about grinding gears. Not to mention, I also think this is why there are so many 'formerly-owned-slaves' that leave relationships pouting about what an ogre/control freak/abusive/(insert word) S.O.B. their Master/Mistress was. They simply were burned out from trying to live life by complete rule & found out it wasn't all fluffy pillows & fancy curtsies. In all my years & with all the people I have ever known within this way of life, I would say that I have met only a handful of people that would come close to this description. So again before I am blasted by the masses that refer to themselves as being a slave, call yourself what you will for whatever your or your Master's reasons are & I truly respect that... but for my own practice & understanding, for my relationships, it just isn't plausible

I believe that in a giving/sharing relationship between a dominant & submissive where consistency, trust, respect, communication, time & unconditional love is involved one might appear slave-like.

As to submissive, well this is the yin & yang of it all. Dominants seek out submissives.
Yet that is not 100% true for everyone... I have known & I am quite close friends with several couples that do not fit this mold. Do they 'switch' within their relationship? Nope. A few are poly & have other dominants & submissives in their families. The submissive couple I know offer themselves out for SM interaction but are only sexual with one another.

As to the term switch... I define this as someone who is equally prepared at any giving moment to both serve & be served. As to physical interactions between people (SM) this is an entirely different set of terms which I understand as being a top or bottom. Dominant, submissive, slave & switch would all fall more under what a persons mind set is & not who swings the whip & who feels the sting.

(side note: recoil not included in previous statement, doms who play with whips know exactly what I am talking about

)

MstrssPassion

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/6/2005 10:03:02 AM

Grlwithboy

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I have a slightly different take on this than a lot of people.

A submissive is a person who is inherently predisposed toward submission in interpersonal or intimate relationships. It's built into the personality.

A slave is someone who has agreed to be owned by another person. They are usually submissive, but they can also be switches, sometimes they are even dominant personalities, but they are in a service/property kind of arrangement.

A switch is someone who can embody either dominant or submissive traits, either with different people or the same person, and they feel enough of a pull in both directions that they personally don't ID as Dom or sub. (I think most D and s people have some percentage of the opposite, just as you won't find many if any total kinsey 0's or 6's.)

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

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RE: needing good advice - 7/6/2005 10:27:47 AM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
A submissive is a person who is inherently predisposed toward submission in interpersonal or intimate relationships.

Bingo on that.

quote:

It's built into the personality.

Not necessarily, many submissives have dominant personalities and many dominants have submissive personalities.

quote:

A slave is someone who has agreed to be owned by another person. They are usually submissive, but they can also be switches, sometimes they are even dominant personalities, but they are in a service/property kind of arrangement.

Excellent.

quote:

A switch is someone who can embody either dominant or submissive traits, either with different people or the same person, and they feel enough of a pull in both directions that they personally don't ID as Dom or sub. (I think most D and s people have some percentage of the opposite, just as you won't find many if any total kinsey 0's or 6's.)

Good point, though I wouldn't use the word "traits."

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

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Post #: 15