Topping

Topping (Full Version)

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SweetSarijane -> Topping (8/14/2007 7:54:23 PM)
As many already know, I'm a submissive and masochist. I thoroughly enjoy bottoming and highly doubt that will change anytime soon. Within the last few months, I've been getting curious about topping. I have co-topped a few times on violet wand play which was a blast and I'll do again when opportunity arises. More and more, I find myself wanting to learn to top using floggers, paddles, canes, crops, etc. I have no desire to be a Dominant. I simply want to learn to top and let out my sadistic streak on occasion. I would greatly appreciate hearing about others' experiences in learning to top as well as advice, feedback, etc. I know when I'm ready for hands on learning that I have a few friends locally who can work with me and show me.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Topping (8/14/2007 8:43:06 PM)
Just go for it and have fun. Seriously. That's what I did in the stage of my life I now call as a "topling" and I just went out and explored what there was to explore.

hsagnev -> RE: Topping (8/14/2007 9:47:05 PM)
I've never really played before so I wouldn't be of much help, but I can relate to masochistic and sadistic need/wants/desires. Anyway, you'll have to keep us posted as you learn more.

dsjen -> RE: Topping (8/14/2007 10:12:06 PM)
I don't really have any experience in topping so far, but I will be learning how to do that very soon here - my desires are very like yours in your post. Sounds like you and I are setting out on a similar journey Sarijane! Best of luck to you!

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Topping (8/14/2007 10:44:52 PM)
Topping and being a Dominant are two different things. One is a set of skills and the other is a role. I know plenty of slaves and Masters who enjoy both sides of the whip. Master Fire

fungasm -> RE: Topping (8/14/2007 10:52:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Topping and being a Dominant are two different things. One is a set of skills and the other is a role. Master Fire Can we get an Amen from the Chorus? That's an exquisite to clarify things. Alison

SweetSarijane -> RE: Topping (8/15/2007 12:05:01 AM)
I give a definite Amen on that. Topping is what I want to explore, not dominating. Thank you for posting the distinction Master Fire.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Topping (8/15/2007 12:07:13 AM)
hsagnev I will do that.[:)] dsjen thank you [:)]

SweetSarijane -> RE: Topping (8/15/2007 12:09:52 AM)
LA That's basically what I plan to do especially after getting a taste of it co-topping on violet wand play. Me being me, I want to hear from others as I get ready to take that step <grin>.

SweetSarijane -> RE: Topping (8/15/2007 10:35:15 PM)
I know how it felt the first time I co-topped on elec. play. Quite a feeling and a rush. For others who enjoy topping, what was it like for you the first time you topped someone?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Topping (8/16/2007 7:01:20 AM)
Privately it was a lot like "Wow I'm REALLY doing this, this is so cool" Publicly it was a lot like "OMG don't fuck up"

SweetSarijane -> RE: Topping (8/16/2007 11:46:54 AM)
<grinning> I can so relate to that. I'm betting that's how I'll be the first time on my own.

MsBearlee -> RE: Topping (8/16/2007 12:27:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam Topping and being a Dominant are two different things. One is a set of skills and the other is a role. I know plenty of slaves and Masters who enjoy both sides of the whip. Dang! Do you really believe being 'Dominant' is a role? I admire so much of what you say here; perhaps this is just semantics. I see Topping as the 'giver' in a S/m relationship. 'S/m relationship' being where a Sadist and a masochist come together for long or short term. It is mostly PHYSICAL play. I see Dominance as wielding the power/control/authority given up by the other. To me the Dominant is a natural leader, guide, teacher, mentor...but it seems too organic (to me) to call a role. It seems a character trait...or personality type...to me; more a mental thing. OH, and having said that... I AM a natural Top. I love the physicality of it; swinging floggers and whips... yummmmmmm! Add the ability to express my Sadistic side...to control and torment another; it's a rush! Also, I know what I feel from the other side of things...what it takes to give it up for another. That someone is willing to give that to me is quite an honor, too...which seems to feed the beast! LOL Beverly

Damocles809 -> RE: Topping (8/16/2007 2:14:55 PM)
If it feels good, do it. Worry about labels after. Topping during play isn't going to make you "less of a sub" to anyone but the most narrow-minded imbeciles, (a.k.a. most lifestylers).

SweetSarijane -> RE: Topping (8/16/2007 3:26:05 PM)
Thanks and I don't worry if I'm sub enough. I got over that pretty quickly. I don't think my desire to top in any way lessens my being a submissive. It's simply part of who I am. I know who and what I am and I'm happy with me. I'm fortunate to belong to a group where others are very accepting of one another's choice of orientation and desires.

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