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Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 12:08:56 AM

ECF

Posts: 24
Joined: 6/24/2007
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So someone suggested to me, after I expressed my dissatisfaction with the lack of people I can find in my own area, to try to see if I could set up a munch.

((Before I get to the point, for those of you not in the know (I don't want to presume who knows more than others after all), it is pretty much like any other form of gathering, be it between geeks who want to play their card games, or people who restore motorcycles, only the common bond between attendees is their interest in this scene.))

My question is, for those who have some experience and/or clout in their own local scene, how would someone go about setting one up? I figure I can obviously post on the message boards here, but who would I invite?
Are they open to Doms (and all variations of that, Dom, Domme, et cetera), subs, slaves, switches, or a combination of them?
What kind of places, from others' experience, are generally open to hosting such an event, or should I just make the assumption that any place with a large and possibly issolated seating area would work just fine?

From what I read via searching the forum (although I'm quite sure LuckyAlbatross will come along with a handy list of links nonetheless), lots of people go to them and have different expectations, but I can't find a ton on how to go about setting one up, yet alone in an area where there seems to be a very small and/or uninvolved community.

Thanks in advance for any helpful advice ya'll can give.

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 2:14:38 AM

DavidsGem

Posts: 51
Joined: 7/21/2007
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Brightest Blessings

Basically what we did was create a yahoo group, advertised on established groups, time and place, and then we showed up. At first it was a slow start, and sometimes it still is. We have a open door policy, everybody may drop by, we hold it in a local sports bar that has a backroom. There are over 200 hundred memebers on our e-mail list ( that only really advertises the munch), and about 10 folks show up regularly LOL.

Hope that helps

Blessed Be
Gem

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 7:15:14 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Don't badmouth the initial group. Find a good location preferably with a quiet room you can secure on a regular date every month, maybe work out a deal with the manager and then start your group on yahoo or something and then post announcements on lists.

Who you invite is up to you- what type of support do you feel is lacking in the initial group that yours would fill in for?

And expect to do all the work all the time.

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 7:59:17 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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You invite everyone. Munches are a social gathering so excluding people right off is bad mojo. Don't expect to have a large turnout right off. The adventurous will show up first and as word spreads, more will atend.

Finding a place to hold a munch is tricky in a few ways. One, people will always use location as an excuse. "Oh it's too far for me to go to", "I don't like the area", etc, ect, ect. When you find a place, be firm on where it is. Don't chnage locals for people. If they want to meet people, they'll just have to get off their ass to come.

Two, finding a local that will let you gather is tricky in it self. Once people start hearing it's a BDSM gathering, they start to close the door. If you're a smooth talker, you might not have that much of a problem. When talking to a rep of an establishment, always talk to the manager. Not the asst. manager. You could also try not talking to managment at all and have people just start showing up at the place. It's too deceptive for my tastes so if you do try this, let me know how it works out.

Three, the type of place to pick. Although a restuarant where you have to wait to be seated tends to be the better atmosphere, they also tend to be places that want to charge you as a large group, instead of individually. The problem with this is that the head of the group (you) almost always gets stuck paying for something noone seems to have ordered for. And it's never the lest expensive item, either. A seat yourself restuarant remedies this problem. You could also choose to hold the munch at a bar, which helps you to weed out people under 21 and keeps people from bringing their kids along which, believe it or not, can be a problem at times.

Always enforce appropriate dress. You'd be amazed at what some people try to show up in. And your group will be tossed out faster then a bunch of bums the minute someone walks in with another on a leash. Of course, no playing in public.

Those are my recomendations. Good luck.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 8:23:46 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ECF

So someone suggested to me, after I expressed my dissatisfaction with the lack of people I can find in my own area, to try to see if I could set up a munch.

((Before I get to the point, for those of you not in the know (I don't want to presume who knows more than others after all), it is pretty much like any other form of gathering, be it between geeks who want to play their card games, or people who restore motorcycles, only the common bond between attendees is their interest in this scene.))

My question is, for those who have some experience and/or clout in their own local scene, how would someone go about setting one up? I figure I can obviously post on the message boards here, but who would I invite?
Are they open to Doms (and all variations of that, Dom, Domme, et cetera), subs, slaves, switches, or a combination of them?
What kind of places, from others' experience, are generally open to hosting such an event, or should I just make the assumption that any place with a large and possibly issolated seating area would work just fine?

From what I read via searching the forum (although I'm quite sure LuckyAlbatross will come along with a handy list of links nonetheless), lots of people go to them and have different expectations, but I can't find a ton on how to go about setting one up, yet alone in an area where there seems to be a very small and/or uninvolved community.

Thanks in advance for any helpful advice ya'll can give.

I wrote an article years ago about setting up a munch that you can find here:

http://www.iron-rose.com/IR/docs/munch.htm

There's also a wiki article on munches:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munch_(BDSM)

Best I can suggest is work with your established groups, not against them. Munches are meant to be inclusive.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 8:35:40 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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Good advice all but I have one additional bit.

Newbies will model the behavior they see. If I was going to start a new munch in a new area I would try and gather a core group, agree on some norms and go from there.

Things like how to welcome newbies

Be friendly and open but make it clear that they are not to be used as fresh meat ripe for the pickings and that doing so is bad form. Have the group norm be that you recomend they just hang out for a few months and not go partner shopping right away. They might fall in love on day one but this way there is no pressure to do so AND it puts the breaks on those who would try and cull them from the herd.

Relationships between dominants

Make it a point to be polite but egalitarian, that thumping chests and bragging is in bad taste. That being modest and open and honest is the way "good" dominants interact. Start early on ensuring that nobody treats Dommes as potential submissives.

No "one way" or "true way" bullshit. That there are many paths some are better than others, some easier but the only right one is the one that works for someone. This helps keep groups from splintering because someone doesn't like anothers way of doing things, teach acceptance from the begining and it will greatly reduce friction later.

I could go on but you get the point, set up these norms early. You are doing something quite powerful by forming a munch and the path you choose will affect that community for years to come.

Oh and what LA said, expect to do it all yourself.

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/16/2007 6:26:19 PM

ECF

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Joined: 6/24/2007
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The problem is, there is no "initial" or "core" group to build from. I can't find anyone here, its not that I don't LIKE the community here. I can't FIND the community here.

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/17/2007 7:10:54 AM

MrDiscipline44

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Joined: 1/5/2005
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Well that just makes things much simpler, doesn't it? So now what you do is find a place to hold your munch. After that, find people on here and/or on another site that are local and send them invites. You can't be the only man that likes to beat a woman in Arkansas.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/17/2007 7:44:13 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

You can't be the only man that likes to beat a woman in Arkansas.

Our local group holds its munches in restaurants that offer a private room/area due to the types of things that may get discussed that you wouldn't want the general public listening in on. Some are chain type restaurants and others aren't.

< Message edited by BRNaughtyAngel -- 8/17/2007 7:46:20 AM >

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RE: Setting up a Munch - 8/19/2007 7:40:48 PM

ECF

Posts: 24
Joined: 6/24/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Well that just makes things much simpler, doesn't it? So now what you do is find a place to hold your munch. After that, find people on here and/or on another site that are local and send them invites. You can't be the only man that likes to beat a woman in Arkansas.

I doubt I am, but I do it for enjoyment for both parties involved, not because of beer. :-p

Thanks for the ideas ya'll, I'll see what I can manage to do. If anyone in the area happens to read this, by all means message me and we can work together perhaps to make it happen.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

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Post #: 10