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Weeding out the real slaves - 8/16/2007 7:02:35 AM

blknsexy2u

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Joined: 4/13/2006
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How do you go about weeding out the real slaves? How do you start your training? How long at first?

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RE: Weeding out the real slaves - 8/16/2007 8:03:35 AM

BoiJen

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It all depends on what you constitue as "real" as that's different for everyone. As questions of who you talk to....and...heh...if you get the same email from the same person twice then you can bet that their spamming other Dommes with the exact same copy and paste...that is if you do this search thing online.

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RE: Weeding out the real slaves - 8/16/2007 9:07:04 AM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear blknsexy2u, Ladies and Gentlemen,

BoiJen said quite a bit of truth. What I deem as a real slave may not be for someone else. And, you will find you need to weed out people the same way as you do in vanilla relationships as you do in BDSM and or any other relationship for that matter.

My personal way of going through applications are; knowing what I want out of life on a realistic basis. I much prefer a long term slave that I see beyond the role or title of 'slave' and see them as a gem of a friend. I shy away from those who have sex on their brains, saying how they like their sex fantasy as if giving me a actoress screen script and force me to paint by their numbers within their created minds. I avoid the 'do me' slaves and submissives.

We deal with individual human beings. Some have made it a science to say what we want to hear and avoid what we need to hear. There is no fool-proof way of weeding the canidates out of pool of those who just see this as a means of just kinky satisfaction for them and leaving you hungry or emotionally bankrupt.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Weeding out the real slaves - 8/16/2007 6:33:48 PM

Honsoku

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Joined: 6/26/2007
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First, I define *real* as interested in more than just chatting and/or fantasy exchange. Keep in mind that these are not absolutes, just things that increase the odds.

Things I look for;

Photo. This accomplishes several things. First, it is a demonstration of commitment and openness. Second, it gives me some idea as to the person (there is a lot of information that can be gleaned from a photo). This may seem a bit shallow, but think of it this way; if you were picking out fresh apples, where would it make sense to choose from first? The bin where the apples were out on display, or the shelf where the apples were stored in opaque boxes?

Optional data provided (location, weight. etc). The more complete the better. This gives me an idea of the feasibility and is also another indicator of openness. Just like photos understand that there are situations where this may not be a good idea for the slave.

Profile text. This is probably the most important part. What someone puts there says a lot, and will frequently make or break the profile for me. Generally I think it is wiser for people to state what you aren't looking for, rather than what they are, because this reduces the odds of the reader mirroring. Both of course is best. Look for spelling and grammar. It doesn't have to be perfect, everyone is human, but it should not be rife with errors (conscientiousness counts, would you want a sloppy slave?). They should talk about the kind of person they are as personality matches are important. Between this and the journal, look for a conversation hook or two, something that you could comment on or ask a question about. This is good for both since it can be easier to start a conversation and it provides a signal to the slave that you actually took the time to read the profile.

Of course none of these are guarantees, but it does seem to improve the odds of getting quality responses.

Honsoku

< Message edited by Honsoku -- 8/16/2007 6:41:55 PM >

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RE: Weeding out the real slaves - 8/16/2007 6:40:40 PM

LadyPact

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Yes, it's much better when you get rid of the plastic ones.

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RE: Weeding out the real slaves - 8/16/2007 7:12:00 PM

PairOfDimes

Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
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Real/false isn't my main criterion--compatibility is. I determine whether I'm compatible with or attracted to a person by checking basic statistics (relatively near me or travels to my city regularly; poly-friendly; queer-friendly; childfree-friendly; dog-friendly; not cheating; has a grasp of a language in which I can communicate comfortably, preferably English) and then considering whether the person has a preference or willingness for certain activities I like and is okay with not getting from me certain activities I don't like; whether her or his desire for time invested in the relationship is more or less compatible with mine; whether she or he wants a kind of relationship I want.

After that, it's much fuzzier, and about fluffy things like chemistry--but then again, it's a very small group that passes to that point, so I haven't needed to figure out easy culling criteria.

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