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Drifa -> RE: Are there certain techniques and scenes that Don't belong in relationships? (8/17/2007 5:27:18 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ToysAndTies
Thanks, Drifa
I suppose it's not that we both don't like certain activities, but there's something about a relationship that not ruins, but, for lack of a better way to word it, takes from a scene. Think of how many dommes love having boy toys they acknowledge as having no romantic interest in, and how they can be that much more brutal as a result. Or how many subs dream about the cold seemingly uncaring touch of an almost near-stranger in a scene? While we both mesh in terms of interests, that kind of disconcern would at best be acting between the two of us, where my experiences in the past have been particularly exciting from the purely hedonistic end when the other player can simply let loose and not have to worry (as much) about how you'll feel tomorrow as a lover would.
I may be kind of incoherent on these forums sometimes, but I think my idea sort of made it through
There's a big difference between scenes and the relationship itself, I think. If you love the high of the "zipless fuck" or "faceless stranger" type thing, then attend play parties to get that fix.
But a relationship with D/s is more than sex, by a long shot. We do occasionally have some roleplaying fantasy fun during sex. But most often, it's just us, with me consciously submitting to what my Lady wants and desires. And sometimes that just means me administering a footrub! But hawt sex happens too.
As I said before, communication is key. Y'all need to sit down together and frankly discuss what you each want out of the relationship itself, and out of the sex. The two are intertwined, but they are not the same thing by any means. Real life -- and submission -- is something that happens even when you are not having sex.
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