New Male Sub Needs Advice!!!

New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (Full Version)

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maddog86 -> New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 12:46:30 PM)
I have been confronted by a Mistress already, telling me if they would see my profile they would pass right on by, and the reason she said so was because all I told about myself was my fantasies, well Im new to this so Im not quite sure what to say, but I want Mistress's to be interested in me! SHe told me to list things I can offer things to a Mistress, but what kind of things do Mistress's look for when they are searching? If I already knew I wouldn't be asking... Please help me!!! Casey

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 12:53:09 PM)
Look at other peoples profiles, see what resonates with you and then copy their style.

maddog86 -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 12:56:46 PM)
Id rather have my own style, I want to be unique! I just need to know what kind of things Mistress's look for...

Oumae -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 12:57:18 PM)
There have been many postings on this...and in your other thread Dusty gave you some very good advice. Here is one thread you should check out. 10 steps for making a good first impression Oumae

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 1:08:37 PM)
LOL Your profile already IS unique, you've decided on the basis of a single email that it's not good so you want us to tell you what IS good. Good advice will come from others.

maddog86 -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 1:15:10 PM)
Thank you so much for the link!

BeachMystress -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 2:35:58 PM)
You don't need to be tailoring your profile to meet what Domme are looking for... you need to put in it what you honestly have to offer. Are you a handyman? Can you cook? Do you love to clean house? Do you enjoy yardwork? Are you a skilled masseuse? Can you do websites? What do YOU have to offer. I did a blog the other day after helping someone with their profile. It was a Dominant, but you can get some ideas on how to approach writing your profile.

AAkasha -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 2:45:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BeachMystress You don't need to be tailoring your profile to meet what Domme are looking for... you need to put in it what you honestly have to offer. Are you a handyman? Can you cook? Do you love to clean house? Do you enjoy yardwork? Are you a skilled masseuse? Can you do websites? What do YOU have to offer. I did a blog the other day after helping someone with their profile. It was a Dominant, but you can get some ideas on how to approach writing your profile. BeachMystress' suggestions I think focus more on service-type submission or general traits and abilities. I'm a type of femdom that's more fetish-driven and into BDSM for the surrender/sacrifice type scenarios, while service submission doesn't interest me at all. From the OP's profile it sounds like he's looking for a kinky romp (sex or no sex) -- some sensual play, the experience of helplessness, the thrillride of being at the hands of a woman who loves to be in control and wants to use him for pleasure. He has to realize that women who enjoy dominance don't enjoy dominating just anyone -- or that volunteering is all it takes. We desire a man we are attracted to -- pure and simple. And, a man that wants to submit to us - specifically -- not just any femdom that will agree to it. Yes, there are qualities that make you a "better" partner in these types of situations -- but a lot of it has to do with the tastes of that particular femdom and what her style is. He will learn that in time if he experiments. But what must not be lacking is mutual attraction, chemistry, desire, and compatibility of kinks. However, a woman won't get that far if his profile is just about his fantasies. What needs to come through clearly is that he isn't just another young horny guy who thinks it would be fun to try kinky sex. He needs to identify what it is about submission that attracts him - what unique experience he has to offer. What would make him exciting and engaging as a submissive to a femdom? Akasha

GoddessDustyGold -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 3:24:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2 LOL Your profile already IS unique, you've decided on the basis of a single email that it's not good so you want us to tell you what IS good. Good advice will come from others. Casey may be referring to My posts on his original thread. And if so, if it got anyone, inlcuding the OP, to thinking, then I am glad. There has been more great advice given on this thread, and I see Casye's profile is now pending, so I look forward to seeing the updated version! Good luck to Casey!

maddog86 -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 3:26:11 PM)
I can give you a preview of it if you want... -Looking for a Dominant Female- Hello, My name is Casey. I am looking for a S&M play relationship, not necessarily a 24/7 relationship but am willing to give it some thought for the right person. I am willing to relocate if I have found the right Mistress, who I understand and appreciate and likewise on her part. Right now I am dating someone, she is interested in S&M but has no experience nor talent in it. She understands my curiosity in BDSM as a whole and allows me to look for a Mistress for S&M play only, friendships are also appreciated! I am 20 years old, I live out on my own with two roommates. I work at a factory that makes car seat frames. I am planning on going to college in criminal justice, or going to a police academy around my 21st birthday. I believe in God and consider myself a Christian(Lutheran). I must say, I don’t have very much experience in S&M play nor BDSM for that matter. The only thing that I have had remotely done was being tied to a bedframe. I would like to experience more then just a sexual side of BDSM. I am happy to offer whatever services you may require in exchange for nothing other than your happiness and the personal satisfaction of knowing that I pleased you in some small way. The skills that I can offer to you would be from cooking and doing dishes.(I worked in a restaurant for 3 years.) I can chauffeur you around and preform basic maintenance to your vehicle. I have some knowledge of electronics. I can also clean (Vacuum and Dust.) I can provide protection and security. ( I am certified in the State of Ohio as a trained security guard.) My Interest (Non-Vanilla) Ass Worship Foot Worship Spanking Cuckolding Rubber Fetish Female Supremacy Objectification Chastity Belts / Orgasm Denial Medical Exams Long-Term Orgasm Denial Mummification Bondage (Ropes, Shackle, and Collars) Hard Limits Golden/Brown Showers Anal Penetration Financial Domination Anything else is negotiable! Vanilla Interests Internet Videogames (Especially Halo 2!) Television/Movies Movie Theaters Cars/Racing Fireworks (Pyro) Music (Rock/Country/Some Rap&Hip-Hop/Classical/Instrumental)

MstrssPassion -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 3:29:36 PM)
Yet another profile revue & I check in & it is pending approval Guess I will follow up tomorrow. I viewed the comments offered by others so far & they seem to be right on... take a look around, read other profiles & develop your own style based on what you like about others. One suggestion... a name like maddog & a shirt with the word sarcasm isn't going to win you points from people who just view you at face value. Being online, all you have is words to form an impression. You have to be very careful as to which ones you use to promote/introduce yourself. The screen name you have chosen may not send the message of being sincere about submission... sarcasm definitely doesn't. Good luck, MstrssPassion

maddog86 -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 3:34:43 PM)
Maddog was a nickname that was given to me in Highschool, and the shirt is just a novelty shirt... I really dont mean anything by these, I just use the nickname Maddog alot, I wouldnt know whaty kind of nickname I could use to make myself sound more sincere...

MstrssPassion -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 3:48:11 PM)
It was not suggested that you are either sarcastic or a maddog... My point is if words & a photo is all you have to present yourself... be very careful which images & words you use. A male submissive online is up against many odds. The amount of men out there seeking female dominants seems to be innumerable. All lists various kinks, limits or no limits, already in relationships, just out of relationships... seeking a life partner or just looking for a good time. Best advice, be honest at all times about all things & have patience. If your current g/f is interested in learning more about SM, why not suggest that she get involved & start asking questions. You just might find that you already have all you need. MstrssPassion

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 8:06:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: maddog86 I have been confronted by a Mistress already, telling me if they would see my profile they would pass right on by, and the reason she said so was because all I told about myself was my fantasies, well Im new to this so Im not quite sure what to say, but I want Mistress's to be interested in me! Please help me!!! Casey The link already provided basically instructs you to approach a Lady with respect, speak to her respectfully, show interest in her by reading her profile thouroughly before responding stating you are interested (and comment on what caught your attention about the profile), than act like a gentleman. Once you start speaking and noticing you either click or do not, than she (the domina) will guide the conversation toward kink when she is ready to go there (you focus on keeping it on the normal getting to know you type of conversation). Your profile is okay to include your interests because it will basically notify a domina of ways she can please/control or not please you (depending on your behavior and what she feels your desert). Naturally in getting to know a lady and dating you will learn if you two are compatible and if she is a good match for you and she will be assessing your fit for her. It isn't easy, so you'll need to be patient. I agree with comments on your name not making a wonderful first impression especially followed by your initial posts showing anger and calling women bitches which I hope you won't EVER do again (unless instructed to do so by a lady to herself).. Good luck, M

perverseangelic -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/5/2005 8:13:46 PM)
Also, don't underestimate the networking that goes on. Be aware that if you badmouth someone, or are rude to them, regardless of how isolated you think that peson might be, they probably have contacts to someone else. Collarme doesn't have a "do not approach" list, but from my gossiping with others, some names -do- get around. This sounds petty. It isn't, so much as a courtesy between people who are looking for similar thigns with no desire to get burned. My point, basically, is don't be rude w/out a really good reason to be, 'cause it might come back and bite you.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: New Male Sub Needs Advice!!! (7/6/2005 11:33:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perverseangelic Also, don't underestimate the networking that goes on. Be aware that if you badmouth someone, or are rude to them, regardless of how isolated you think that peson might be, they probably have contacts to someone else. This sounds petty. It isn't, so much as a courtesy between people who are looking for similar thigns with no desire to get burned. My point, basically, is don't be rude w/out a really good reason to be, 'cause it might come back and bite you. I agree completely. Basically if he is courteous/respectful (not to be confused with everyone's stepping mat) human being his chances will be significantly better overall.. M

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