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ORIGINAL: FuriousAngel
The truly sad part to me is that if/when shybifemale returns to view this thread, she will 'see' only the post of the Dominant (that being you, TDW) encouraging her current approach to finding answers in the lifestyle. Like all many submissives, she's looking for for a hero right now, and you just became the hero to her.

It's too bad because clearly you are experienced and intelligent. I feel if more Dominants like yourself were standing behind the 'jaded, cynical' submissives, some newbies might give more pause for thought. They don't want to hear what we have to say. They want Dominants (aka Hero's).

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ORIGINAL: EmeraldSlave2

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ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

Which is exactly what I suggested. If you want to experience contracted consensual slavery without signing your life away, look into short-term contracts.

That I think summarizes my issue right there.

There is NO such thing as "short term slavery"

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It's bottoming, it's submitting, it's a break from reality, it's a game.

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It's not anywhere close to experiencing "contracted consensual slavery" and to imply otherwise builds false expectations.

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And for the record- a person doesn't need to experience mistakes first hand to be toughened up enough to deal with them. I've never been raped or abused or molested, but I think I'm actually a lot more capable of handling issues than the a lot of victims who have.

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think you underestimate (and overestimate) the power of your posts. The newbies listen to what you say...and they listen to what I say...and then they live their lives.

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But right here, right now you have a submissive who joined this site less than a month ago.

A submissive who hasn't yet read up enough on D/s to know that to post on a public forum in search of a 'Master to guide her' is just looking for trouble.

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I am very new.Trying to find my place There are many questions I have and I find is very hard to find answers on chat rooms .so many do and don,t .all i know is that i want to be controlled in a postive way.iIwant to find a Master that will take there time with me and guide me let me learn to trust them is that so wrong.

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ORIGINAL: FuriousAngel
Taggard, I am in no way trying to flame you. I'm quite enjoying what you have to say and much of it makes perfect sense.

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1. Do you agree and support the original post?

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2. Do you really feel this person has gained enough knowledge in the lifestyle to be placing herself in a one-on-one situation with anyone right now?

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In good conscience, Taggard? Do you really disagree with the advice intially given to her?

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Disclaimer: It may appear I'm on a mission to save the world, but naaa ... It's just rare I find myself interested enough in a discussion to continue in the same thread for more than one post.

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ORIGINAL: Dragonzaymaster

I wish I had the time for this type of discourse, however I do not. Simply put the world at large is dangerous for everyone. The safest place is in any internet environment. Real life is risky. The sub as an adult must weight out the risks vs the benefits.
Dragonzaymaster

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ORIGINAL: TallDarkAndWitty

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Why not? If a slave meets a Master, spends a full year getting to know them. Dates and plays and falls in love, and finally agrees to take his collar and tragically dies three days later, was she not a slave for that short term?

You're straying far from the original context in which you presented the idea and in which advice is being given and discussed.

We're talking virtually clueless newbie. Your original statement mentioned only "talking with a dom."

This is a far cry from someone who clearly identifies as a slave and has spent many months getting to know them.

If we want to discuss giving advice to a slave who has an entirely different set of experience and understanding, then my advice will be very different and I would agree with you on other points. But I'm sticking with the original context.

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And you think you were born that way, eh? None of the little mistakes you did make helped you at all in being able to better avoid bigger mistakes.

In some ways, yes I actually do think I was born, and I was absolutely raised to be able to take from others experiences so that I didn't have to take them all.

Of course challenges can make us stronger, but if people simply did that, then we wouldn't have people like this young novice ASKING for advice to perhaps avoid some of the obvious ones, would we? We ask advice to try and make a better informed choice and avoid things.

My advice was an attempt to do this, and while you may make a post and change your perspective depending on the majority voice/number of posts, my voice remains the same no matter who posts how many things about what. And I know that my advice was not only sound, it was reasonable, encouraging to growth, AND helping to avoid common obvious mistakes as well.

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It is an obvious strawman to suggest I said "rape will make you stronger". Rape, abuse, and molestation are not "newbie mistakes". They are life changing traumas that leave you forever scarred. Commiting to a dom online only to find out he is married...now that is the kind of thing that will toughen you up without fucking you up.

Taggard

Or you could simply NOT become committed to anyone at first, find out through some time and reading and exposure that this happens a lot and what signs to watch for and avoid the situation completely and still be toughened up.

My analogy of rape was a slight hyperbolistic statement to make a broader point. A lesser version would be to say, I don't need to burn my own finger on a stove to know not to touch it.

We do essentially agree, getting into bdsm and Ds takes no more skills than any reasonable mature adult should have when getting into vanilla relationships. But novices in frenzy generally haven't figured that out yet. I'm the LAST person to suggest we protect the poor little hormone driven fools from their own choices, but when someone asks advice, I give it to them on their level that can reasonably help them.

(in reply to TallDarkAndWitty)