RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough?

RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

SubJordanTyler -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/20/2007 9:39:22 PM)
The strap-on is always welcome and one of my strongest desires. CBT and humiliation are great kink as well. But whatever is done to me or I'm doing to/for her, it really does come down to doing what will please her. If that's a foot massage or drawing her a bath and washing her - that's wonderful. So for me, it can range from something sensual like that to just being taken hard with a strap-on until I'm screaming in pain.

pixelslave -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/21/2007 3:04:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I'm interested to hear what submissive males think is the right level/frequency of kinky, dominant-driven "play" in their relationship. Don't say "Whatever she wants," instead, briefly summarize what would be ideal. Acts like bondage, strap on, chastity, cbt, spanking, humiliation -- how much, how often? What about femdom acts that are more 'passive' -- ie, you worship her feet or give massages? How often/how much in an ideal relationship? Finally, what about a relationship without kinky "play" per se - but a woman that enjoys being in control, empowered, and calls the shots. Is that an ideal? Akasha I think they are either afraid of coming off too demanding/needy (for kink) or they have so little real life experience the answer is "I have no idea." -- even so, they should answer and just clarify that and say "what they assume" they will need. Still, I was hoping to have a lot of answers, and it's really puzzling how few of the "regular" subs just skipped this thread entirely. Maybe those that did can step up now and just say why? Akasha Akasha, I don't read or post very often in this particular Board, but Mistress pointed me to this thread. At first glance, it appeared as bait to identify "do me" subs. [;)] After some reflection, I think that relationships and the sexual energy within them, ebb and flow according to the quality of the other dynamics at work. If Mistress and I aren't feeling connected, I doubt she's going to want to play, nor is she going to want to play in a manner that I'm likely going to respond to in such a way that things will likely spiral with increasing energy so that both of us will find ourselves really being drawn deeper into it. [&:] For me, it really is a case of "what Mistress desires" in terms of the kind of play. She knows how to push my buttons to get me to want to play, so I don't see a problem there, even when fatigued. Knowing how closely our kinks and libidos match, I don't think frequency will ever be an issue, except perhaps during times of illness and to me, that would be understandable as I believe it would be to her. If anything the preparations and energry required for certain kinds of play would be the limitation that would determine the actual kind of play that would (or would not) occur at any given time. I also see things from a "big picture" point of view and recognize that there's more to life than just play. Having our emotional needs met, both hers and mine, taking care of her physical needs through foot rubs and massage (which often leads to other things as well), along with serving her in ways that are important to both of us that we've both acknowledged we enjoy and which we both feel helps add to our dynamic are also important parts of the total picture. We've also talked and know there are times when we'll just want to cuddle and connect as two people, or do vanilla things we both enjoy; which is just part of meeting each other's emotional needs in a variety of ways. [:)] As life is unpredictable and we tend to have to respond to it, relationships also tend to need to adjust to outside influences as well (UM's, work, etc.). I think a "routine" in general terms would be important to me and to Mistress to help set the dynamic for us and to provide some consistency when we finally reach that point. For me, a lot of that routine, would involve things we've discussed as service to her which I'd find exciting, erotic, sensual and constantly arousing. For her, it might be part of a sadistic tease that I know she'd enjoy, find very pleasurable, and quite arousing as well. You might say it would be our "Daily D/s Dance" that we'd both enjoy. [8D] Beyond that, how extensive the play and other dynamics would need to be or "how kinky" they'd need to be isn't an issue as I know that we'll continue to grow in our dynamic at Her pace or at whatever pace we're both comfortable with as we explore the possibilities of where we can journey down this path together. It will happen as it happens and no faster. There will always be something new to look forward to and many pleasurable memories for us to look back on and enjoy. [:D] As a final remark, I couldn't be in another of the 3rd type of relationships that you've described. To my way of thinking and based on my experience, I'd describe that as more of a "Domineering Woman" and not as a "Lifestyle Dominant." I enjoy doing things that help Mistress feel empowered, but a woman who "needs" to be in control all the time of everything around her, yet isn't capable of being fully sexual with me or who doesn't share my various interests or kinks isn't going to be one with whom I'm going to be compatible. I'm smart enough to recognize that and just move on. [sm=lol.gif] - pixel Collared to Majik

LadyPact -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/22/2007 10:54:28 AM)
AAkasha, this was a great complimentary thread to the one posed on "Ask A Mistress". I very much enjoyed reading the answers.

AAkasha -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/22/2007 5:37:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact AAkasha, this was a great complimentary thread to the one posed on "Ask A Mistress". I very much enjoyed reading the answers. Thanks. I am still disappointed in the lack of responses. Any ideas why more male subs won't post here? Akasha

Morsigil -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/22/2007 6:04:47 PM)
I just reread my post and I wanted to make an adendum... Where as I said I want her to do whatever she truly wants to, and be passionate about it, I do have preferences. I'm extremely inexperienced in play besides the very little my last serious relationship included, but cross dressing, bondage, and her tool in me are high on my list of desires. I could go for either at least one session of an hour or more per day, depending on the activity, if not more often. Some days I may not feel up to it, especially after a particularly rough session the night before. Kinky text messages, risque e-mails, short, whispered phone conversations about a surprise in the evening... Yes I could see kink being a very daily event for me with the right woman. I can't imagine any activity being too kinky for me, but I can tell you those activities which I am adverse to for practical reasons. I don't like scat play for the obvious reasons, or the idea of dressing up in a fur suit simply because it doesn't do it for me. I hate the feeling of cuts, and my skin is too sensitive (it scars easily). It's not that these activities are too kinky though. When it comes to more "passive" activities, which seems to entail non-sexual service, my personal preference is to keep those items to a minimal, but then again I'm inexperienced and with the right person these activities might be the highlight of my day. I don't like to feel used as a tool, so much, as I like to feel like the object of their sexual desire. Serving might be something I can only really appreciate once I've actually experienced it though as I can imagine such mundane tasks taking on a completely different light when you've got a woman calling the shots that knows what she wants, and she wants you. It would take a woman who I respected more than anyone else, and felt like others could respect, to take control of my day-to-day life... especially in front of other people. I am proud of (for the most part) and take responsibility for my actions, and there is little I dislike more than being held responsible for foolish actions that aren't my own. If I were to find that woman that I respected greatly, not simply because I wanted to fulfill my fetish and put her on a pedastal, and because I honestly believed her to be an intelligent, driven, decisive, level-headed, and caring human being then I would have found love. If I found this woman I would give up my will.

petdave -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/22/2007 7:01:27 PM)
As for the lack of responses, i think there are a few factors... it's a more personal, less theoretical topic; it's seeking simple and objective "answers" to a very emotional and subjective question; and, of course, i agree that a lot of people haven't hit the "right" balance or been able to maintain it for long enough to "know". Personally, i looooove bondage, and if i could be tied three or four times a week, sometimes as part of a heavier scene, sometimes just as an activity, i'd be happy. For heavy pain play, like whipping to the point of pushing limits, it takes a while to recover... comfortably, no more than once a week or so, probably more like two or three times a month... but then, being "pushed" when i'm not ready holds its own kind of appeal, so that's flexible [8D] Now, the "passive" things are, IMO, an important part of day-to-day life... usually whenever we sit on the couch watching TV, i'm rubbing her feet, Sunday is always manicure/pedicure night... for a while i was responsible for shaving her legs, but it just took up too much time But i think every day needs something... rituals and/or chores to be done, rules to follow, decisions made for you that other people take for granted... Personally, i can't really separate "kinky play" from the dynamic... without the physical intimacy, the relationship isn't complete... if the physical intimacy is exempt from power exchange, it would seem out of place. It's all a rich tapestry, damnit! Satisfying her desire for control is satisfying and important, but satisfying her sadistic tendencies is fun [:)] And what's life without fun?

bound4u2use -> RE: male subs: How kinky is too kinky, or not enough? (8/22/2007 7:31:48 PM)
Dear Akasha, "How kinky?" is a question i've been thinking a lot about recently. Obviously, it differs for every sub, for me: cbt: mild cbt, i would say pretty often, almost every time that i engage in play, i love to have a Mistress crush my parts under her high heels. harsh cbt, maybe once every other week, it hurts to be whipped, and takes some time to recover. chastity: all the time, i would love to have a keyholder for my CB-2000, only unlocking me maybe every other week to torture and or use my cock. bondage: i love being tied up, so being tied and teased would be great every night for me. spanking: every couple days, or whenever i do something wrong humiliation: personally, i like to keep my role as a submissive secret to others. web humiliation, or something with a trusted play buddy, once every year or so would be ok with me. Strap on: every day would be wonderful, even in front of open windows, tied and bound, with a chastity device on! As far as passive acts, i think if every night i was to worship my Mistress, that would be right. Every night, that is, unless we were arguing about something. That said, i think that relationships thrive when both people are involved with decisions that effect them outside of bdsm. bdsm should be fun, part of a healthy sex life, i don't think i'd be comfortable in a relationship where i was told what job i would take, what car i would drive, and where i would live. 'Playtime' could certainly play a roll when You want sushi and i want steak though. Hope my opinion is useful. sean

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125