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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 4:52:10 PM

bound2obey

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I hope not. This is the first topic I have really delved into and its very intresting to me. I like reading all of the diffrent views and look forward to reading more views.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisAlphaSlaveJ

can we consider this topic over yet?

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 4:53:43 PM

WhiplashSmile

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quote:

ORIGINAL: HisAlphaSlaveJ

can we consider this topic over yet?

I'm sorry, it's still "under sonsideration", but if you are serious about this it might be taken into consideration provided you no longer talk to anybody else other then all the members that have posted to this thread. hahaha

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 5:27:20 PM

Hisbellaluna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bound2obey

I hope not. This is the first topic I have really delved into and its very intresting to me. I like reading all of the diffrent views and look forward to reading more views.
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisAlphaSlaveJ

can we consider this topic over yet?

hope not to offend with this...but you really need to get outside your comfortable box if this is the first topic you have really delved into and you're hoping it won't go away...theres a whole bunch of message boards with lots of interesting topics

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 5:34:53 PM

NControlofU

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Hope not to offend with this.....which topics do you recommend? And, how do you know this is a comfortable box for her or anyone else? And, if it is, so what? Can't she read what interests her?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisbellaluna

quote:

ORIGINAL: bound2obey

I hope not. This is the first topic I have really delved into and its very intresting to me. I like reading all of the diffrent views and look forward to reading more views.
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisAlphaSlaveJ

can we consider this topic over yet?

hope not to offend with this...but you really need to get outside your comfortable box if this is the first topic you have really delved into and you're hoping it won't go away...theres a whole bunch of message boards with lots of interesting topics

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 6:22:29 PM

gypsygrl

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I don't see anything wrong with the idea of "under consideration" regardless of whether it has its origins in net culture or not. To me, it simply means the time during which the parties involved are talking seriously about a committment but prior to the time a committment has been actually made. As I understand it, during that time, either party is free to walk with no hard feelings. Maybe there was no such thing before the internet because it wasn't necessary. But, given that the internet makes it possible to talk to a whole lot of people one wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to talk to, its possible to talk seriously to a lot more than one or two people at a time, all of which might seem attractive, so its an idea that makes sense. When I was looking, I received 2 or 3 mails a day most days and I know that something like that would never have happened real life.

Generally, if I am interested in someone I will stop talking to others. I do this voluntarily and have never been told not to talk to anyone by anyone. Because the conversations tend to be intimate, I just feel funny having that kind of conversation with more than one person at a time.

I don't know how I would have reacted if I had ever been told not to talk to anyone else prior to the time I had already stopped talking to others. Its likely that I would have felt put upon figuring that its my choice who I talk to until the time I decide to commit. But thats just me. Others are, of course, free to do as they wish.

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 6:39:26 PM

MaamJay

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Obviously people are jumping back in without reading what has gone before ... which is understandable as there's so much! But as I explained in an earlier post, I don't believe that ALL or MOST (as has been claimed by at least one recent poster) uses of "under consideration" are abusive. Yes it CAN be if it is used to isolate the sub from the opinions of others through control of messages, emails etc, and/or if it is used to disempower the submissive from negotiating what they are and aren't willing to submit to at that time. I don't condone a Dom/me claiming that this is "the norm" and cutting the sub off from other sources which might show them that in fact, it isn't.

However, some use it in the same way as "going steady" or "friendship rings" used to be in vanilla world ... to indicate a state in which 2 people are earnestly exploring each other as potential partners, both being under the consideration of the other! Usually in that state, people naturally become less interested in other people outside of that steady relationship ... but don't cut them off completely. And neither is yet "certain" enough to become engaged (vanilla style) or committed to a lifelong potential. I personally deplore the way collars are sometimes given out in the bdsm world after a few days or weeks as for Me, a collar is a very serious commitment. So if "under consideration" is a useful way to announce a growing commitment to themselves and others, and prevents the "velcro collar syndrome", I'm all for it!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 8:06:09 PM

Hisbellaluna

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i don't know what interests you, i don't know what interests her, but when you don't want a thread that has been beaten to death to go away, its time for you to be a little uncomfortable and read something else...but thats just my opinion..

His bella luna
beta under consideration and in training to Tx Sadist Master
sister to His Alpha Slave J

< Message edited by Hisbellaluna -- 8/21/2007 8:50:58 PM >

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/21/2007 10:07:56 PM

NControlofU

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Mayb you feel this topic has been beaten to death even though you keep coming back to it but others might be interested in how this discussion is continuing to evolve.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hisbellaluna

i don't know what interests you, i don't know what interests her, but when you don't want a thread that has been beaten to death to go away, its time for you to be a little uncomfortable and read something else...but thats just my opinion..

His bella luna
beta under consideration and in training to Tx Sadist Master
sister to His Alpha Slave J

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 2:40:38 AM

Ahnk

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quote:

ORIGINAL: shyinini

Someone speaks up about a very stupid practice and he is jumped.
jeeeeez
For the most part I totally agree. His piece of advice to newbies, both D and s types, is a welcome refreshing change in my POV from "under consideration" ~~ thinking its the norm in how a relationship should develope.

WtFdoes it mean anyway...something different to everyone just like the word slave.....
if a newbie s type is only out there for 2 months and a dom restricts her and puts her under consideration.... it cancels out completely LA's advice...WAIT 6 MONTHS BEFORE YOU MAKE A CHOICE !

Who the hell are you supposed to believe...LA, a dom saying you are now under consideration ~ the girl or guy not even knowing that this is a stupid practice and restrictions ONLY should come with some type of submission to control.

Why are NEW thoughts and ideas so easily shot down as if the new poster or new idea is to be tossed out with the bath water.

Who are you? A drone of the typical CM message board banter or someone who is willing to risk new thoughts.... challenge the stupidity of absurd practice.... be your own thinker...
be willing to risk the flaming that ensues, the sarcasm, the cynism....the complete put down that the idea is at least valid.........

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr CM regulars can be such &&^%^%#%(*)*)( about free thinking !!

Sir's girl

edited to add....pompass a$$$$ comes to mind

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 3:14:20 AM

SugarMyChurro

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Holy crap! This thread must be why I don't read anything but the off-topic board usually.

OP is someone that has been here for two years and unsuccessfully so. His journal entries make a big point of it. So armed with sour grapes he comes here to tell everyone else how it's done. Which is hilarious, really...

To the OP and those that agree with him: you do things your way and leave everyone else the hell alone. Anything else would be all of us doing it your way. Strangely enough, as a dominant man I tend not to like being told what to do. So here's my message to y'all:

Of interest is the fact that "slave" and "submissive" persons like being told what to do. Some of us have the wherewithal to tell them exactly what to do and under what conditions. If you don't like it, I suggest that you:

Your kink may not be my kink and I am perfectly okay with that. But trying to tell others how to conduct their relationships seems obnoxiously intrusive.

Especially when it comes from someone that has no track record of success. I appreciate the honesty, but it doesn't inspire confidence in his opinions about how to make things work.

< Message edited by SugarMyChurro -- 8/22/2007 3:51:39 AM >

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 3:38:15 AM

desiresluv

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I think if it works for you fine...if it doesn't fine. I personally do not like the term "under consideration"...makes me feel like a car on a showroom floor and someone sizing me up for the best features. If a potential Dom approaches me then in his mind I am already under his consideration..so to speak... lol...or he wouldn't have approached me. But as for telling me who I can talk to, or who I can not..I will be collared by him before that happens.

* I always laugh when I start reading a thread and then the responses and how it leads off the trail sometimes..but always entertaining. The first few times someone hurt my feelings with a negative reaction, but then I realized...hey...that is free speech..lol..so now..I just post my opinion and am done with it. Have a good one all..*

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 11:26:52 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
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Exactly! Bravo SugarMyChurro! You said it! All the people trying to cram "their way" down everyone elses' throats is the biggest load of crap. If you don't like something someone else does, don't use it and leave it be.

And, for all those who are so "concerned" about wanting to protect the poor, ignorant, newbie subs, out here in CM land, from the big, bad, Doms who dare to utter the words, "Under Consideration", if they aren't smart enough to figure out that no one, who is not their Owner or Master or Dominant or Husband or Daddy or whatever, has the right to tell them what to do, they probably aren't smart enough to be trying to have a relationship with someone else, to begin with. If they can't understand that no one can have them "Under Consideration", without their consent or desire and that they have the right to say under what terms they will accept being "Under Consideration" of another, then they are probably not ready to be trying to form a D/s or M/s relationship. Not only that but, who decided that there needs to be a "nanny service" for newbies, here? Making mistakes is part of the process of growing up.

Gee, i sure hope no one gets upset with me for beating this topic a little more.........Well, actually, i couldn't care less if they do. If you're sick of reading about this, just pass the thread by.

slave joy
Owned property of Master David

"Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

Holy crap! This thread must be why I don't read anything but the off-topic board usually.

OP is someone that has been here for two years and unsuccessfully so. His journal entries make a big point of it. So armed with sour grapes he comes here to tell everyone else how it's done. Which is hilarious, really...

To the OP and those that agree with him: you do things your way and leave everyone else the hell alone. Anything else would be all of us doing it your way. Strangely enough, as a dominant man I tend not to like being told what to do. So here's my message to y'all:

Of interest is the fact that "slave" and "submissive" persons like being told what to do. Some of us have the wherewithal to tell them exactly what to do and under what conditions. If you don't like it, I suggest that you:

Your kink may not be my kink and I am perfectly okay with that. But trying to tell others how to conduct their relationships seems obnoxiously intrusive.

Especially when it comes from someone that has no track record of success. I appreciate the honesty, but it doesn't inspire confidence in his opinions about how to make things work.

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 11:30:38 AM

Dnomyar

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Let me get this straight. If I approach you then you are already under my consideration. Then It goes to follow if I also approach SugarMyChurro he is also under my consideration. Dumb Dumb.

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 11:58:20 AM

Cuckme4Life

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This subject can be debated until the end of time. Bottom line is evauate each time the "under consideration" subject comes up with a potential partner. In my case, someone decided FOR ME that i should be posting the words to my profile. And all it did was piss me off, considering the rudeness of her actions of toe tapping emails and 3 am phone calls. Plus, i had barely spoken to the loony woman at all and she was assuming i just fell off the turnip truck. NO MAAN i am not going to put up an "under consideration" statement on my profile under those terms. She was a fake anyways

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 12:11:17 PM

SugarMyChurro

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Cuckme4Life:

I don't know anything about that situation, but from what little you have stated here I would say that you failed her first test and that she failed yours. There was no meeting of the minds. You and she were not a match.

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 12:22:33 PM

Cuckme4Life

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SugarMyChurro, not enough time to go into details. The short story was, her first contact to me was immediate demands i drop everything and everyone and announced herself as my everything messiah. Being submissive doesnt mean being ignorant to the possibilities of being in the crosshairs of lunacy. After a couple emails and phone calls, then some serious stalking type behavior, i decided this one wasnt who i want to spend my time with.

As for failing her tests, sorry. i didnt ask to be tested by that loon to begin with. All i wanted to do is find out what kind of person i was dealing with. As for my own tests, didnt have nor do i have any to begin with. But her smothering behavior definitely left me with a bad taste in my mouth about her. If i had a chance to know her better beforehand things may have been different between us. One cannot be smothering another right out of the gates.

And thanks for responding. Appreciate that!!!!

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 12:55:52 PM

MasterWilliam55

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grins at becca....we sure do.

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 1:01:36 PM

SugarMyChurro

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Cuckme4Life:

Well, if you don't like the term "test" how about the word "criteria"? Your second paragraph is full of the criteria about what kind of situation you are willing to accept in a relationship. Other people clearly have their own criteria too.

I have told people to place a "under consideration" type message at the top of their profile. I didn't forbid them to communicate with others because that doesn't bother me. I saw the message as a head's up to others that the slave in question had effectively surrendered herself to me. I don't post a similar message in my own profile because I have not surrendered myself to anyone - it's just a whole different thing for me.

My way is not everyone else's way, but this is not one of those situations where they have a say in what I do. FWIW, I don't care to have a say in what others are doing either - I don't care at all. These are private matters between consenting adults.

Could the whole "under consideration" thing be a scam? Sure. Maybe it does limit a slave's ability to scope out the best possible match for her - I don't care about that either. When should the search end? At some point I feel as a master that I have the right to call that search to an end and claim the slave as mine. That's an end to it and it's no one else's business.

-----

DS4DUMMIES at post #88 ( http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1218296 ) said a bunch of stuff I consider to be a crock of shit, including this bit "As a Dominant, I feel I have NO rights, NO claims, NO authority with a woman unless and until I have earned by MY actions, her respect, her devotion, her surrender and ... perish the thought ... her love."

Now that's great for DS4DUMMIES. And I don't care how DS4DUMMIES conducts their private affairs.

But I don't operate the same way and I will now tell you why: because I am not a dating facilitator and as it happens I do make all kinds of claims on a person fairly shortly after meeting them if I am truly interested in them. I may also make all kinds of demands and expect my wishes to be carried out. Further, I consider love as a component in a relationship to be a mere happy accident and by no means a requirement.

Let me tell you one last thing I am absolutely not doing: training a slave for another person's use. If you want her, you put in the time. Otherwise, she's mine and y'all that disagree can go:

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 1:05:59 PM

MisPandora

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I must have missed this from elsewhere in this huge thread: " "Under Consideration" is a joke - an insecure child's way of preventing the loss of something they do not even own yet." "

That's like saying an engagement ring is for pussies who can't just buck up and get married today. Come on people, think about what you're saying LOL

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RE: Stop "Under Consideration" Speech Restric... - 8/22/2007 1:11:25 PM

DS4DUMMIES

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

Of interest is the fact that "slave" and "submissive" persons like being told what to do. Some of us have the wherewithal to tell them exactly what to do and under what conditions. If you don't like it, I suggest that you:

What?....lol. Is THAT all it's about? Tell 'em what to do? A woman is a submissive purely because she likes being told what to do? ...Geez...and here I spent all this time learning to understand a submissive mind, to get to know what is underneath it all, and all that time...it was as simple as you say? All they want is someone to boss them around? Would all the submissive women who feel that they are submissive purely to be told what to do, forgive my references to things like respect, trust, romance, devotion, the cerebral, the emotional, the physical...I'm so sorry I didn't have have it right all these years.......thanks for the enlightenment. OK....sub women....listen up. On yer' knees....

:)

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