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RE: Who is Real? - 8/18/2007 6:59:13 PM

Hisbellaluna

Posts: 127
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline

only $99.99...i take money-orders cash, and credit card numbers...i also have a bridge for sale...

_____________________________

Formerly known as chellekitty...

Do not be like servants who serve their masters expecting to receive a reward; be rather like servants who serve their master unconditionally, with no thought of reward. --Antigonus of Sokho

(in reply to MamaDomme)

Post #: 21

RE: Who is Real? - 8/18/2007 7:07:15 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

national geographic presents real people .... rofl Get Real

first it was the hippies
then it was the disco crowd
next it was the punksters
then it was the ravers and gothites
now it is bdsm yep real people

(in reply to Hisbellaluna)

Post #: 22

RE: Who is Real? - 8/18/2007 7:10:21 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Redoubt

I'm not real - I'm a figment of my own imagination

I have no imagination... so I must be real.... real and boring.... oh I wish I had an imagination so I can be "Unreal"!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Redoubt)

Post #: 23

RE: Who is Real? - 8/18/2007 8:58:29 PM

becca333

Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline

If you want an ongoing relationship, you need to find someone reasonably close to you, so you're better off searching in real. Go to munches, make friends, put out feelers, get the background on prospective partners.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 24

RE: Who is Real? - 8/18/2007 9:20:07 PM

Damocles809

Posts: 532
Joined: 7/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: arayofsunshine55

They are all real. but they are not all really what you want. Even someone who seems compatible in the words in his profile can't show enough of himself for me to have any sense that he'd be "just right" for me. It seems an unreal expectation. The things I really want to know can only become clear over time, engaging with each other, living through moments with each other, learning about each other not through what we say about ourselves but who we show ourselves to be over time. The people who to me seem most disheartened by their encounters are those whose expectations were not realistic.

Well said.

(in reply to arayofsunshine55)

Post #: 25

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 6:22:06 AM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

And what is that nick?

(Whispers to cuddleheart, "Real One", just as you said. He usually lurks in conspiracy threads.

)

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 26

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 6:27:19 AM

FullCircle

Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

And what is that nick?

(Whispers to cuddleheart, "Real One", just as you said. He usually lurks in conspiracy threads. )

If you want to talk with RealOne you have to go through his intermediary “DeepThroat”.

_____________________________

∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 27

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 7:07:57 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Sure there are people who lie online and in real life. Sure, there are a lot of "players, posers and wannabes, and there are even lots of game players out there. However, I have this idea that while they do make their mark, there really aren't that many more of them than there are of what you term "real people."

The problem is not the players, posers, et all. The problem is actually that there is a small pool of prospective people to choose from regarding what you are looking for and then, on top of that, you have the real difficulty that we all face - that of degrees and the intangible.

When it comes to degrees, you see, there is just no way to be able to put into words the degrees of what we want. I can say I don't like arrogance, except that that's not true. I don't like arrogance past a certain degree. I can say I don't like someone who i sset in their ways, but that's not true either. I adore someone set in their ways - coupled with the compassion (or sadism, don't know which would qualify here) enough to make the set ways palatable. Then of course, if they're set in their ways on things that I find ridiculous, that's a deal breaker as well. And there is just simply no way of putting all of that into a profile.

The intangibles are even more difficult. These are the things that can't possibly be translated to a profile. These are the things that irritate us beyond toleration and can change someone from real to poser in an instant without us even realizing it's happening. It doesn't mean the person IS a poser, it's just how we end up thinking of them from that point forward.

Intangibles can be in how a person dresses, to the strangest little thing and even while they are perfectly fine in all other areas, those intangibles can mean the difference between a possible new relationship and us wanting to make our escape as quickly as possible from their presence. And none of this can be communicated through a profile.

That's why, as so many have said, it's better to get off the computer and meet people face to face. There are avenues to do this. And while you admit that you've only recently come out of the closet, and I know it takes courage to go to things like munches, it really is a fine way to meet people. You will be accepted.

And it's always helpful to remember that the person who may be very real to you may be a player and a poser to me. Different people have different views of who is a player and who is real, and just because someone is not real for you, doesn't stop her from being very real to someone else.

So, before you rank everyone who doesn't fit your idea of what real is, you might want to take the different view that the people you're talking to are just not who you're looking for and stop ranking them as real or fake - it's just a more positive way of looking at things during your search. And from my experience, if I start thinking negatively, I start seeing life and my search more negatively. That whole search stuff is enough without adding a negative outlook to the mix.

juliet

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 28

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 7:20:24 AM

sophia37

Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline

Not everyone is a game player. Understand that you've got to go thru a LOT of people before you find the one/two/three.

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 29

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 7:22:33 AM

MsBearlee

Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline

FastReply:

And here, all this time, I thought he was a shaggy, blue kinda guy into living with a small footprint and who's politics are all screwed up: Real0ne heh heh heh Here's his pic: http://www.collarchat.com/avatars/Gallery%20C/1931.jpg

Actually, I did a search on Collarme and discovered over half a dozen PAGES of folks who consider themselves real-somethingerothers!

B

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 30

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 7:47:22 AM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline

Everyone is real we just all want different things and even if we want the same things we don't neceassarily like the person and if you don't like the person a relationship won't work.
Some people just want someone to explore with. But it has to be someone they trust to be honest with them. Honesty and good communication builds trust.
However a lot of people just want to do things with anyone. They have a check-list of things they want to do. They don't want a relationship. One off play sessions with anyone will do. Some people are lucky in that they find the right partner quikly. Other people are not. I suppose a lot depends on your expectations.

(in reply to MsBearlee)

Post #: 31

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 8:33:22 AM

Bobkgin

Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Be assured, Karen, that some of us do post the truth.

Unfortunately, there are many who do not, for a variety of reasons and all of them symptoms of low self-esteem).

Quite simply, they do not believe in their dreams, and do not believe they can achieve their dreams except through deceit.

When you consider how much selfishness it takes to wreck the planet through global warming and environmental degradation, you realize it is not going be any different here.

Or, as others have said from time to time, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince(ss).

No fun, I know. Would be nice if everyone were honest and sincere.

But until Hell freezes over, that isn't likely, so we do the best we can to weed out the insincere from the sincere, and hope we are left with a match at the end of the day.

For me, the alternative (giving up) is not an option.

Don't let anyone take your dreams away from you. Especially deceitful game players.

(in reply to KarenMarie)

Post #: 32

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 9:11:38 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

Well I haven't been in the lifestyle for very long. And only on this site since about sept or oct of last year. (various nicnames.) But with my years of being on the vanilla sites trying to find the perfect one(s), (and feeling like I was looking in the wrong place.) I ended up kissing alot of frogs. And I knew when coming to this site, that it would be much harder. So while I do continue to look on here, I also keep my eyes peeled in my local community. I go to my local munches,classes/workshops, public play parties, and other events. And having fun, experiencing what I can, and when I can. Yeah sometimes I feel impatient, and frustrated in even finding those I want to play with, let alone actually have a D/s relationship with, but I know that the wait is worth it. So in the end my advice is like those who have already responded. Don't look just online! Go to the local events in your area. Even if you have to drive a ways. It will be worth it.

_____________________________

Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

(in reply to Bobkgin)

Post #: 33

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 9:26:39 AM

lilsky

Posts: 14
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline

Okay i'm probably beating a dead horse and will admit to not reading ALL the posts, although the one about the insta-master and insta-slave was pretty funny,..lol

Seriously though, i think we encounter plenty of "fake" people no mater where we go, online, in the real world, or in some weido third demention thing *wrinkles her nose but looks thoughtfully at the taradactals outside her window*

That being said, i believe we also do find a lot of real people to, as anything fictional has to have at least a grain of truth to it otherwise we would completely not understand it at all. I think it's not finding somebody real that we all seemingly seek, it's finding somebody that is real compatable. That of course can take a lifetime and then some to find, for some of us, seemingly myself included,..lol I think though that the key is to not give up and to keep searching for what it is that you desire. Take the ups with the downs, and never lose a sense of humor as it's essential to dealing with all the twisted things life will throw at you.

Best of luck, everybody, with your searches on this site and your ambitions in life.

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 34

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 10:40:01 AM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

let me guess. He's the best Master in CM but never done anything in real life and some newbie will meet Him and go for whatever he says.

Scarey!

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 35

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 11:01:45 AM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

We are all real.

However it takes a great deal of self-knowledge to begin to know ourselves.

Then a lot of experience to identify what we are looking for.

Beyond that you need the courage to reveal ouselves as we really are.

It would guess few people truly get through all those stages.

If they do they need to be able to put up a profile that reflects who they are and accurately describes who they seek.

All within the confines and limits imposed by the site on which they post that profile.

I try, but I know I have a lot still to learn about myself, about potential playmates and the limits of my courage and ways to use words, etc.

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 36

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 11:16:03 AM

MistressDoMe

Posts: 295
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

We are all real on here, except the ones that are not real.
Why do you expect so much is the question KarenMarie?
If you are not happy with what you find online, it might be
time to find it offline.

(in reply to sirguym)

Post #: 37

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 3:17:38 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KarenMarie

I been on the net both for work and hopes of finding real love.
but it seams no matter where you go it`s the same thing.

Whoever said it would be easy was lying. Smack them for me.

quote:

Game players!

Hey, leave us gamers out of this. Our d10s did nothing to you!

quote:

I read many of profles and have replied to a few that seam to sound close to what I hope for but I`m finding a lot is not what they seek in reality.

Welcome to the world of dating - it's not any better here than in "vanilla-land".

quote:

I really thought if We posted trurth as to who we really are I thought some where there be some one on same wave. Sorry I find it hard to write down exactly how I feel into readable words but all i can really say clear is I`m very disapointed.

Yup. And I'm still very dissappointed that my first boyfriend didn't turn out to be the love of my life. Some people don't find a good match until much later though.

quote:

I hope many will post here as to how they feel and any suggestions as to where do you find real people.

Well, see I have a confession. I'm not real. I'm actually made of butterscotch candy. But I find "real" people out in the "real" world, in college classes, at munches, at book clubs, at bars... but than again, I'm not in the habit of labeling people "fake" just because they wouldn't work for me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KarenMarie)

Post #: 38

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 4:05:07 PM

Jolielaide

Posts: 16
Joined: 7/6/2005
Status: offline

Synchronicities always tickle me. I was talking to one of the sisters last night, and this very subject came up, albeit in a 'nilla venue. Her psychologist came up with one of the best suggestions I ever heard, and I pass it along now for whatever it's worth to you: If you go fishing in Alaska, you have to decide if you're going to fish for salmon and cry over all the chubs you catch, or if you're going chub fishing, and enjoy each chubs coming your way (until you throw them back), and the celebrating the salmon when it/they come along. In any case, you still got to go fishing.

(in reply to shyinini)

Post #: 39

RE: Who is Real? - 8/19/2007 4:06:31 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

I'm a hologram...are we real?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to KarenMarie)

Post #: 40

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