RE: Emotional Dimension of BDSM

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RE: Emotional Dimension of BDSM - 8/19/2007 8:39:57 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: charlotte12

For me it is not about the whips and chains but i wouldn't entirely discount them.

The way i always see it is that i could submit without chains and whips but i couldn't be whipped without the emotional submission. However, if i can have the mental bondage it never hurts to be physically tied up as well.

I think that for a lot of us humans the physical can be the reminder of the mental. We are not always encouraged these days to simply step back and "be" with another person, people always seem to need to be "doing" something. Generally i feel the most submissive in the most simple of moments, simply sitting at his feet or having a hand resting on me as i remember that that hand can do whatever it wants at any time, or choose to do nothing. I would not however want to entirely give up the ropes and whips as they add another dimension to it.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that once i am able to get down to the core of what D/s means to me then i can enjoy many of the other kinks that i thought never excited me. But it wasn't until i started finding the "mental bondage" that i could add these other things in. My mind jumps to a silly analogy of learning to dance. You can learn all the steps and do a million different steps over and over but if you can't feel and move with the music then it's never going to be beautiful.

Very well written charlotte.
It was not until I realized that it was possible to have a close romantic relationship and BDSM that
I became interested in this lifestyle.
I think many here are always focused on "doing" something, I enjoy the fact that when you have someone
mentally, you can just "be" without having to do anything or even be present in front of the other party.
The connection is always there, in your heart and soul regardless where you are or what you are doing.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to charlotte12)

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RE: Emotional Dimension of BDSM - 8/20/2007 6:09:41 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

I think what you're observing is the difference between the stereotype of BDSM and the reality of most (not all) power exchange relationship dynamics that incorporate an element of mutual love, caring and devotion. And perhaps to a lesser degree, the differentiation between fetishists/sensation players and those engaged in power exchange relationship dynamics.

If your "fetish" is a dynamic that takes place between your ears, and the "toys" you play with and enjoy reside between your partner's ears, then what can be seen on the exterior would be quite deceiving to the casual observer. For instance, I don't have a leather fetish, or a fetish for fetish clothing. I wear a golf shirt and Dockers pants/shorts to every lifestyle event as that's what I feel comfortable wearing... it's just me (though on occasion I will wear a black golf shirt and Dockers). And while I have an extensive collection in my toy bag, I could be perfectly happy if they were never used.

It's just another example of the old adage that you can't judge a book by its cover.

John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to TrainHerTender)

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RE: Emotional Dimension of BDSM - 8/20/2007 8:12:27 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Wonderful topic and I love seeing it started by a Male Dominant.

There are a few of us on here that ONLY seek an emotional connection/along with
BDSM activity.

For US, without the emotional connection we can not have any sort of lasting or meaningful
relationship.
Believe me there are many of us out here.
In fact I started a thread on this last year.

Mental Domination Vs. Physical Domination

I will not accept anything less than both.

The physical domination/play does NOTHING for me, without the mental control/domination.

Believe me, you are hardly alone with what you desire.
Good luck, I hope you find what you are looking for.

you hit the nail on the head whats the point with either. to me that is only true power exchange. As humans we have a need to feel and be felt..
yep yep :)

(in reply to MzMia)

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Post #: 23