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RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/20/2007 7:12:52 AM   
camisra


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline 		behindmirrors, i couldn't help but say thank you for your origional question and to everyone else who responded, including my Mistress.  Given that she mentioned i am undergoing major surgery next Monday, i will admit that i as recent as this evening came close to digging my heels in and flatly saying NO i was not going anywere after surgery.  As i know for me in particular the first  few weeks is going to be the worst, i am so independant you would not believe, to have that replaced with not wanting it but needing help in maybe all aspects of personal hygiene, between that and literally having all the fears like you are of being useless, a burden, being helpless.  However, my heart feels heavy and hurt because i won't be able to do the things i would want to for Mistress but i would be totally heartbroken knowing i had hurt her deeply by denying her the gift of helping me.
So again thank you all for giving me a gentle prod to remember that i am only human and to recieve the help graciously.
And to You Mistress a big hug and a special thank You, for not taking no for an answer.

thanks
camisra

(in reply to camisra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/20/2007 8:42:11 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Ah but you WILL be doing what I WANT you to do for Me pet ... which is to get well as fast as possible! And the best way to do that is to allow Me to care for you, not stress out, and as and when you are capable, I promise to find some little jobs you CAN do safely for Me. And behindmirrors, that is also the best thing you can do for your Master, concentrate your energies on getting well. I agree that you should talk in advance about your emotions and feelings ... but trust in Him and what He says He wants to do. There is a lot to be learned in the serenity prayer, whether or not you believe in God or a Higher Power:
God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
 
In this case, it's the wisdom to know that you can't heal overnight, you can't change that, so seek serenity in what must be. And look for the joy in it ... it might be the other person's joy, it might be the extra closeness that develops, and remember, a sub often thrives on vulnerability ... well this will be a very vulnerable time. So much can grow!

All the best
Maam Jay

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to camisra)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/20/2007 1:02:28 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		Went through something similar once, where I picked up the slack and did things for myself and for her.   Being a Dom/Master does not mean lazy ass.   Any Dom/Master that either Loves his sub/slave or values her, will take care of her and her needs for recovery.

So what it's a change in life for awhile.  Life is full of changes, everything is not a constant set in stone. 

I had a bit of a challenge, telling her to not worry about shit, to take it easy. Rest so that she would get better.  DO WHAT THE DOCTOR said to do!  Damn it, listen to me.. listen to your Dr.. 

Besides, the Dom Develops a deeper sense of appreciation for the things you have been doing as well for you too.  Perfect opportunity to explore this area.  Plus, if the Dom is somewhat Lazy, it wakes them up to this as well.   Think of it like a bit of a challenge for both people involved.

You two just have to be understanding of each other and the situation.  The only thing you have control over in Recovery, is doing all you both can do to make certain you recover without complications.  Means following the Doctors orders, and doing what YOU NEED to do.  It's not a question of WANT, it's of NEED.

A need such as this will outweight the Lifestyle wants.  Again, any Dom/Master that either Loves his sub/slave or one that at least values his sub/slave will want to make certain she takes care of herself and is taken care of by the Dom.

Yes, Doms do want and enjoy taking care of their sub/slaves.  Taking care and caring for each other is a two way street. 

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/21/2007 8:59:21 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		(Fast Reply)

I just wanted to thank all of you for your kind words, advice and well-wishes. When my Master comes home from work tonight, I will be sharing this with him as well, as much of the advice goes both ways. *smiles*

Camisra, I also want to wish you the best of luck and a speedy recovery from your own surgery- it sounds like you have a wonderful Mistress who will take very good care of you. I'll do my best to relax and recover, I hope you will do the same!

Thanks again to everyone who replied here, this has been a huge help to me.
behindmirrors.

(in reply to WhiplashSmile)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/21/2007 10:45:55 PM   
JackM1


Posts: 137
Joined: 2/3/2007
Status: offline 		just focus on getting healthy again hun, so that you can serve him to the best of your abilites when you are fully healed. he can deal with you being out of commition for a little while if it means he'll get his wonderful girl back, fully healed and ready to serve.

good luck with the surgery!

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/21/2007 10:53:46 PM   
MaDomAura


Posts: 93
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline 		behindmirrors. I found the advice already given to be sound, and hopefully reassuring. Perhaps you could print this thread out as a reminder for the times when you are feeling down.

It appears you are a redhead and you may want to discuss medical studies which indicate that redheads require more medication for anesthesia and pain control, which also may mean you will have a longer stay in recovery as you will be very groggy. I know this was true for me, but I found out AFTER several operations where I came out of general!! NOT FUN, and it freaked out the doctors and nurses when I started trying to talk, while intubated, and with my eyes taped closed they weren't sure how "awake" I was. Needless to say I talk this over with the anesthesiologist before surgery these days! Also, do control THIS kind of pain. You will heal faster if you are not wasting energy fighting any post op pain.

I wanted to add that diet can influence your recovery! It sounds terribly basic, but fresh whole grains, plenty of fruits and vegetables, lean proteins will give you the *emotional* and physical edge you need. In addition I suggest cal/mag/potassium to prevent muscle spasms which often come with bed rest, and these minerals aid healing. Upping your intake of essential fatty acids will allow the tissues to heal with minimal scarring, EFA in the form of fish oil, evening primrose oil, vitamin A and E are all valuable. Vitamin C is lost during stress, and as it's water soluble the body doesn't store C. I like the chewable tablets, they remind me of Sweet Tarts!

Finally, do your breathing therapy at home, not just in the hospital. Lots of deep breathing reduces the risk of pneumonia, and helps your body pass gas which you will probably have after surgery. It also forces abdominal action, that could prevent internal scarring known as adhesions. Have a stool softener on hand, pain meds cause constipation and the last thing you want to do is strain. Taking a stool softener (as opposed to a laxative) will give you some peace of mind when your bowels resume function.

If I can offer any additional advice or support feel free to contact me via email!

MaDom Aura R.N. C.N.M


(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/22/2007 1:15:02 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Fabulous medical advice there MaDom Aura, thanks for that. While I knew quite a lot of it from My days of teaching Human Biology, there were some things I hadn't thought of. I'll be using that advice with My girl!

One thing I have insisted on in this week pre-op is that she gets plenty of sleep. That also helps boost the immune system to optimise recovery and healing later. As I'd guessed, she was naively thinking she'll have to rest afterwards so it would be OK to knock herself out this week! Not so!

behindmirrors, do take this medical advice too and all the very best!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MaDomAura)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/22/2007 5:53:53 AM   
camisra


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline 		To MaDomAura, i likewise thank you for the enlightenment towards post op. Funny when i attended all the pre op sessions including a workshop for what i am having done they never bothered to full inform us of all the vitamins, potassium the essential fatty acids etc, the only thing i got told was it was essential for pain management and to drink pear juice for your bowels.
It just frustrates me that the hospital didn't fully inform us all at the workshop in the same way that you have just done.
i cannot lie my Mistress Jay knew exactly what i was thinking re: i was going to knock myself out this week, not so now, am on a curfew for the rest of this week.

To you behindmirrors do everything you need to get better as i will do the same.
camisra

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/22/2007 6:25:37 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I love car annaloies so he goes.

If you Sir's car was broken down, and it needed to be in the shop for awhile would you be upset with the car for not taking him to work on monday and instead being up on the rack having the allignment redone.
It's called maintenance regarless of if it is a car or a person.

Now to address te definately human part of the question what to do about your feeling a lack of abilty to serve.
Take the recovery period as a challenge to yourself to find the services that you can provide even if you could never walk again.
Keeping his calander
Writing his correspondence
Making the long put off phonecalls about the little stuff that has alwas been low on the priority list.
Order up the books on skills you have been looking forward to learning, and make recovery time productive that way.
Learn to be the wrld's best handjob giver
Learn to be the world most expert ________ insert non-tradtional sexual activity that does not involve te out of commission body parts.

(in reply to camisra)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/22/2007 7:42:37 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Something few mention but something necessary is the wearing of surgical stockings IF you are going to be bed-bound for any length of time.
They assist in the prevention of blood clots and are really important, usually the hospital will give you a set if requested or you can get them at any medical supply store.

MaamJayyyyyyyy I wanna come live in your corner of the world lol. *hugs to you*.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/22/2007 9:34:05 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		mirrows,

in my view there is no question to be address. Slave status assumes an ability to handle it. When there is a physical change, permanent or temp, The Master steps in and handles all untill the healing period is completed. Even then there may be a necessity for a permanent reassesment of duties.

CP

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/22/2007 9:38:38 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		In the Car analogy theme, if you knew you were likely to engage in...erm... activities with that auto, that the typical auto won't see, wouldn't you ask the mechanic about the situation?  The doctor has probably seen and heard far more bizzare interests than you could ever tell him.  You're paying him thousands of dollars to look under your hood.  Why think twice about being completely honest about your concerns and fears, to a man you may very likely, will never see again?

Trust me, nothing you tell this man will shock him.  You don't need to tell him about the midgets that video tape you, but you should discuss any of the more.... aggressive physicial activities you intend to engage in.  Let the doc tell you when it 'should' be ok.

Good luck on your recovery, and warm wishes.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/23/2007 7:47:45 PM   
behindmirrors


Posts: 340
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		(Fast Reply Again)

Once more, thank you to all that have replied to my post, and really helped ease some of my anxiety over the whole thing.

My surgery is now scheduled for next Wednesday in the morning- I'm just glad it will be over with soon. :)

In talking to the doctor, you guys were right- he did not even bat an eyelash, haha- that made me feel a lot better. I think the hardest thing for him to comprehend was how I could be so soft-spoken until my hernias got poked!

Thank you again, everyone, I really appreciate it more than words can say.
behindmirrors.

< Message edited by behindmirrors -- 8/23/2007 7:48:15 PM >

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/23/2007 7:58:57 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings behindmirrors,
i wish you light and health in regards to your surgery and your recovery. i am 2 weeks post op from back surgery and all the advice here has been spot on - take care of your Masters property...that is an important job~

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/23/2007 9:00:04 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		BehindMirrors, Best wishes to you for your surgery and recovery.

I had surgery last month and I'm still recovering - a process that is turning out to be slower than I had anticipated or hoped for.  I do not live with my Master, but still do a lot for him, and the surgery has made my use to him rather limited. 

I'll also confess when I removed my bandages, I cried because of how ugly the point of incision looked.  It was hideous to me and I thought there was no way he'd enjoy that part of my body again.

The first thing he did was to have me stay with him for almost a week, just a few days after the surgery.  Knowing my need to be busy for him, he found "easy" things for me to occupy myself with, which kept me busy yet did not strain me in any way.  He also spent a lot of time just hanging with me - talking, loving, nurturing, and making me laugh.  It was the best medicine I could receive.

It's been a month and the area of incision is looking remarkably better, and I'm confident that with enough Vitamin E Oil massage, I'll hardly have a scar at all.  I still can not perform for him in the way we are both accustomed, but he has been remarkably patient, while finding other ways for me to please him and provide for him.  He also made it clear that he prefers to have a scarred slave than a dead slave, and assured me not to worry in the least about any leftover markings due to the surgery.

As others have said, the best thing I could do for him after my surgery was to have a healthy and positive attitude, and to take care of myself as well as possible.  He decided the rest for me, as he always does, and as usual, his decisions were perfect for me.  Have faith in yourself, and have faith in your Master, and I assure you all will be fine.

Best wishes to you!

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/24/2007 12:20:54 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Good luck hon, will be thinking of you on Weds. And I'm sure My pet will be thinking of you too if she's not still too groggy after her own surgery on Monday.

Also every good wish to other recuperators, dawntreader and ownedgirlie!

Gentle and careful hugs all round!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to behindmirrors)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: An injured slave with questions. - 8/24/2007 6:56:40 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings MaamJay,
 
Well wishes to your girl as well. There is a several homeopathic and aromatherapies available to aid in surgical recovery as well. i swear by my chinese herbs also :-)

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 37
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