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Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 10:30:41 AM   
nikkicd10


Posts: 91
Joined: 8/23/2006
Status: offline 		Do you think the women (Mistresses?) who demand nothing but money to even email them help or hurt the lifestyle.

We have all seen the profiles of women demanding money for nothing, what's your take on this?

Please do not think I include Pro Dommes in this concept, they deserve what they demand.  I'm talking about the people who demand you send money to their paypal account even before they will respond, you know who they are.
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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 11:09:09 AM   
LadyLynx


Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Just so you know, this topic comes up at least once a week on here.  So don't be suprised if you get some pretty snarky answears.  As for your question, it certainly doesn't help the image of the lifestyle, or Dommes in general, as this site has have had alot subs, switchs and Doms thinking that most or all Dommes,Mistresses,female tops demand $$.  Though something about tribute in general:  Alot of Dommes want to recieve tribute to be reassured that you are serious about persuing this lifestyle.  The majority of women on this site get quite a bit of email, mostly from guys looking for wanking material, or looking to have a specific activity done to them or vice versa or just looking for sex. Hope this answears your questions.

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Our community maybe openminded as a whole, but it is still made up of individuals who bring in their own opinions,baggage and agendas!

Known as SwitchWitch in my local community,and on IRC Bondage.

I also go by the nic SwitchWitch on MDS.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 11:24:31 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		It's a complete null to me.  It doesn't harm anything, certainly doesn't harm me.  Other people's actions don't reflect badly on me... and anyone who would think they do is not a match for me.

Some people enjoy that sort of play, that feeling of being used from the get-go.  I see nothing wrong with that, let folks match up naturally with that kink just as they do with any other.

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Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 11:48:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I see it the same way as I do various other things.  It's not for Me, but who am I to tell others it can't be for them?

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 12:16:51 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		People can chose what to include in their profile, just as i can chose if i should contact them. i wonder how many who want money just to be contacted actually get a reply.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 2:39:18 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'd say stay away from anyone who demands money for nothing, because that is precisely what you will get...nothing.

If you want to pay a proDomme for her services make sure she is well known and has a good reputation. I wouldn't hand my hard earned dollars over to some faceless stranger on the internet.

Most lifestyle Dommes like myself, do not ask for money, gifts or tribute.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 2:45:42 PM   
planomaid


Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Lady Lynx is correct, this topic has been beaten to death, rescuitated, killed again, repeat...

Whethere the concept offends you or not, its not going away, so you have to decide what works best for you.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/21/2007 9:56:39 PM   
ChainsandFreedom


Posts: 222
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Most lifestyle Dommes like myself, do not ask for money, gifts or tribute.


Lashra is right.
Though monst people seeking material gain through bd/sm/ds try to convince a sub tribute is the only way any subs ever get anywhere.

Personally, Nikkicd, I think this kind of 'should be working at starbucks' domme hurts the lifestyle because their profiles discourage sub males from participating in this site. Bratty young women asking strangers for money are not skilled prodom's.
Methinks guys who get off on giving them cash would be better off spending that cash on a sex therapist or donating to charity.

I could write a bunch more about it, but I already did last week, and a week or two before that. Its a pretty big controversy on the site.

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/22/2007 8:27:06 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		I don't give these types of people a second thought. When I was in Michigan, this very attractive woman showed up on collarme, and her profile was exactly what I felt was in line with what I desired. So, she was one of the very few I wrote, and she responded back that in order to continue any conversation I had to send her $50. Well, as attractive and wonderful as she sounded, she no longer was in line with what I desired, so I never contacted her again.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/22/2007 9:19:39 AM   
ocilla


Posts: 1764
Joined: 6/12/2007
Status: offline 		All I need from a fella are a few sincere, genuine and mature emails and then to begin meeting face to face to get to know each other.  My tribute would be having the balls to meet and talk and get to know each other in person and to buying me a cup of coffee. This manages to weed through potentials quite well.  Also, it is interesting when you meet like this to see if when the time comes if he will reach for his wallet.  In actual vanilla dates - which I still do - fellas are often more aggressive in terms of seeking to pay for my coffee etc.  Its much more loaded when meeting someone for whom the BDSM card is already on the table. 

And you have a choice as to whether to respond to such a demand. 

As to whether that kind of request reflects on me?  I periodically check through the local Domme profile - a quick skim - and find plenty that are not asking for tributes.  I often wonder if the lament is from those who have yet to realize that fantasy, the Domme that falls into the cartoon, icon, fantasy is not very likely giving you a full picture of herself as a whole person - which is not such a shiny veneer.  Seeking that one dimensional Domme is a perfect set up for a woman who just wants your money to do take your money.   You might do better if you broaden your views of what a Domme is, might have to look into yourself a little deeper to figure out what the primary or key pieces you need in order to find a satisfying connection.  If it is predominantly about the kinks not at all about the D/s you will have a more difficult time finding your Mistress without money being involved.  It is no different than if you are vanilla  - if it is only about sex - you may have a hard time connecting without money involved.

I currently have a friend who is kinkbuddy that I use to explore some kink activities with - he is not sub or into D/s... he is at this time my toy for me to use however I want within limits - this is not his ideal but the only way it works for me - we don't play often.  If he wants specific types of play he seems to have to pay a pro. 

Some would say you get what you pay for - throw money at getting what you want and you get a relationship based on that.  But there are many other types of value and payment that are far richer and juicier. IMO.

< Message edited by ocilla -- 8/22/2007 9:22:00 AM >

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Ocilla

Nature is not a place to visit. It is home.
~ Gary Snyder

It takes a kinky village...

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/22/2007 12:39:09 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikkicd10

Do you think the women (Mistresses?) who demand nothing but money to even email them help or hurt the lifestyle.

We have all seen the profiles of women demanding money for nothing, what's your take on this?

Please do not think I include Pro Dommes in this concept, they deserve what they demand.  I'm talking about the people who demand you send money to their paypal account even before they will respond, you know who they are.

NO.  I don't think it hurts "the lifestyle" because folks who will engage in that behavior aren't really going to venture out to munches, kink events and classes.  Who fucking cares how people spend their money?  This topic is SOOOOO tired.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to nikkicd10)
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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/22/2007 1:43:18 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		It neither hurts nor helps "the lifestyle", anymore than the fact that I may or may not go to munches, or play with rope, etc. as far as I'm concerned.  Everyone is out for his/hers, and unless his matches mine, I don't much care what most do within this lifestyle.    M

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"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/23/2007 11:37:28 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Nikkicd10,

When I read a profile of someone who demands money, I just skip the profile and move on.  Clearly, the author of such a profile is looking for something entirley differnt than I am.  In terms of helping or hurting the BDSM lifestyle, I think these types of ads do neither.  The ads exist and you can choose to reply to them or ignore them.  At the outset of my BDSM travels, yes, I did find the seeming plethora of pay-to-contact ads rather frustrating.  However, at this stage in my life and BDSM experiances, I recognize that there are many differing relationships within the kink community.  And sure, there are opportunists in all walks of life (both vanilla and BDSM).  The only reason an ad has impact on you is if you let it.  Thus, if an ad is not something you're looking for, my advice is that you ignore it and move on.  It's a simple solution and what the heck... perhaps there are people who enjoy this kind of dynamic - more power to them if they do.

ElanSubdued.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/23/2007 11:41:08 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

RumpusParable:  It's a complete null to me.  It doesn't harm anything, certainly doesn't harm me.  Other people's actions don't reflect badly on me... and anyone who would think they do is not a match for me.

Some people enjoy that sort of play, that feeling of being used from the get-go.  I see nothing wrong with that, let folks match up naturally with that kink just as they do with any other.


This is excellent advice.

ElanSubdued.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/23/2007 11:42:36 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

Lashra:  I'd say stay away from anyone who demands money for nothing, because that is precisely what you will get.. .nothing.

If you want to pay a proDomme for her services make sure she is well known and has a good reputation. I wouldn't hand my hard earned dollars over to some faceless stranger on the internet.

Most lifestyle Dommes like myself, do not ask for money, gifts or tribute.


This is also excellent advice. :-)

ElanSubdued.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/23/2007 11:44:34 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

littlesarbonn:  I don't give these types of people a second thought. When I was in Michigan, this very attractive woman showed up on collarme, and her profile was exactly what I felt was in line with what I desired. So, she was one of the very few I wrote, and she responded back that in order to continue any conversation I had to send her $50. Well, as attractive and wonderful as she sounded, she no longer was in line with what I desired, so I never contacted her again.


And this is *fucking brilliant* advice!

(Okay, my three part mini series is now over. :-)

ElanSubdued.

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RE: Worth the money or not? - 8/23/2007 3:35:57 PM   
YesMistressIrish


Posts: 1135
Joined: 5/1/2007
From: Calif
Status: offline 		nikkicd10,

There are a lot of professional scammers on all free sites. This site is just one of the lucky ones. *snicker.

*waves and hits the couch for a power nap.

MI

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Profile   Post #: 17
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