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Appropriate Punishment? - 8/21/2007 12:51:02 PM   
canenaughtysteve


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Hi,
I was hoping I could get some help on punishments I could give myself that might help me eliminate some negative behavior.  There have been things I have repeatedly done that I don't seem to learn from.  In recent months I have attempted to discipline my own bottom hoping it would serve as a punishment/deterrant. Unfortunately, I found the experience came up short. When I was presented with opportunities to take different action, too often I made the improper choice again.  I thought having a sore bottom would be a constant reminder of this is what happens when you make the wrong choice.  Although I decorated my bottom and there was some discomfort at times, it was not enough to provide the desired result on a consistent basis.  I considered a butt plug, but have concerns having that inserted in me for a long period could create health issues.  Any opinion?  Also, I have recently considered a chasity belt.  I don't know much about them.  Am I correct in assuming that if I put one on, my thingy should be in a downward direction and it would create discomfort whenever I got excited?  Do you wear that instead of underwear?  Can I wear my jeans or jogging pants over it?  Will it be obvious that I am wearing one? Do they come in different sizes or material?  Should I get more than one because they need to be washed?  Does anyone reccomend a certain company?  Do you think me wearing one will be uncomfortable enough to serve as a  reminder to make better choices?  How about having to wear womens undergarments?  Do you think that would be an effective solution?  If so, any suggestions?  What size would I get?  How about if I punished myself by having to sleep on the floor, do you think I might remember that throughout the day?  It seems to me the punishment (or deterrent has to be something that has a very strong impact (that I don't forget).  Or maybe I need to come up with a list of a future punishments, that I would fear.   However, still be able to enforce for specific unacceptable behavior, which would serve as a deterrent? Sorry for the long post.  I would appreciate any suggestions or comments.  Thank You.  Steve.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/21/2007 3:59:56 PM   
FullfigRIMaam


Posts: 718
Joined: 6/21/2007
Status: offline 		The reason most have not replied might be that this is an awful lot about what is going to get you off, and not enough about your being an adult, taking responsibility for your behavior, and changing as needed.
Do a search on fun things one might do with oneself including the things you've mentioned, because most dominas here don't allow ourselves dominated by someone who's just come with a first post like this.  Good luck,    M

_____________________________

"touching was and still is and will always be the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." Erich Fromm

(in reply to canenaughtysteve)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/21/2007 4:33:03 PM   
utterlybutterfli


Posts: 49
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'm gonna bite, I'm gonna bite
But I'm not a Dominant,, and this isn't kinky - so

If you genuinely want to change a behaviour there is something that you can do.
Go get a large elastic band and a big bag of your favourite sweeties

Wrap the elastic band reasonably tightly around your wrist, get a handful of sweets (I would like to suggest peanut M&M's but its your choice.)
Go about your business. When you have the desire to do the wrong thing you can do two things. You can NOT do it, and then you can reward yourself with a sweetie. or you can DO it, and you punish yourself by flicking the elastic band against your wrist. It won't be very painful, and in all honesty that one seetie won't seem like much.

What you are acheiving is training your brain, over a period of time (might take a little while) by using small, but persistent messages that 'good' behaviour brings pleasure and 'bad' behaviour brings irritation and pain,

I'm sorry if you don't find that very kinky or exciting - but frankly the things you have listed in your OP, seem like you might enjoy them more than what ever it is you want punishing for.

editied for bad spelling


< Message edited by utterlybutterfli -- 8/21/2007 4:34:49 PM >

(in reply to canenaughtysteve)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/21/2007 7:46:37 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: canenaughtysteve

Hi,
I was hoping I could get some help on punishments I could give myself that might help me eliminate some negative behavior.  There have been things I have repeatedly done that I don't seem to learn from.  In recent months I have attempted to discipline my own bottom hoping it would serve as a punishment/deterrant. Unfortunately, I found the experience came up short. When I was presented with opportunities to take different action, too often I made the improper choice again.  I thought having a sore bottom would be a constant reminder of this is what happens when you make the wrong choice.  Although I decorated my bottom and there was some discomfort at times, it was not enough to provide the desired result on a consistent basis.  I considered a butt plug, but have concerns having that inserted in me for a long period could create health issues.  Any opinion?  Also, I have recently considered a chasity belt.  I don't know much about them.  Am I correct in assuming that if I put one on, my thingy should be in a downward direction and it would create discomfort whenever I got excited?  Do you wear that instead of underwear?  Can I wear my jeans or jogging pants over it?  Will it be obvious that I am wearing one? Do they come in different sizes or material?  Should I get more than one because they need to be washed?  Does anyone reccomend a certain company?  Do you think me wearing one will be uncomfortable enough to serve as a  reminder to make better choices?  How about having to wear womens undergarments?  Do you think that would be an effective solution?  If so, any suggestions?  What size would I get?  How about if I punished myself by having to sleep on the floor, do you think I might remember that throughout the day?  It seems to me the punishment (or deterrent has to be something that has a very strong impact (that I don't forget).  Or maybe I need to come up with a list of a future punishments, that I would fear.   However, still be able to enforce for specific unacceptable behavior, which would serve as a deterrent? Sorry for the long post.  I would appreciate any suggestions or comments.  Thank You.  Steve.


Consider, as a punishment, not paying so much attention to yourself. Focus all that attention and energy on someone ELSE :-0
- - I'm sure that will hurt you plenty. (?)

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 8/21/2007 8:32:31 PM >

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to canenaughtysteve)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/21/2007 9:19:47 PM   
WickedBDSM


Posts: 37
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly
Consider, as a punishment, not paying so much attention to yourself. Focus all that attention and energy on someone ELSE :-0
- - I'm sure that will hurt you plenty. (?)

Simply Brilliant!!

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/21/2007 10:34:37 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		*sits in awe of Mistress Dolly's editing effort on the OP*
I could not have said it any better. I've lived with an "it's all about me" person, NEVER AGAIN!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to WickedBDSM)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/22/2007 10:21:48 AM   
canenaughtysteve


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Hello,

Thank you to everyone that replied to _ _ post. It seems appropriate to respond.  Does this look familliar:  " This section is open to those wishing to ask questions of a Mistress, in the hope of receiving answers from that particular perspective. ".  That is what occured.  If some found _ _  as being dominant, trying to dominate, or the like, _ am sorry  (MistressDolly would you like to buy a vowel).  By the way, MistressDolly thank you for your lenient grading.  It seems to _ _ that  you could have held the word "punishment" against _ _ and if you were really strict, some others.  By the way, _ hope it is all right to have a sense of humor.  In sincerity, MistressDolly, what you said _ did not find brilliant.   However, _ did find it creative, as well as thought provoking and _ am appreciative.  FullfigRIMaam and utterlybutterfli thanks for giving _ _ alternatives to consider.  WickedBDSM, _ hope you didn't find the remark _ made about "brilliant"  as insulting.  _  am not saying MistressDolly is not brilliant nor am _ saying you are not.  _ just felt it was a stretch and part of _ _ felt like taking the offensive a little.  It seems appropriate to say one more thing for now about the word brilliant, when _ read it , _  had a flashback of using the word a few years back,complimenting someone and then saying to _ _ _ _ _ _, that was a little bit of a stretch.  MaamJay,  it sounds to _ _ , _ _, _ _,. _ _,_ _ that you feel you were in a relationship with a very selfish person and that was not a relationship that you look back fondly on. _ am sorry if _ reminded you of that relationship.  Best wishes.


(in reply to canenaughtysteve)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/22/2007 12:33:57 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline 		steve,

You're asking us to indulge you in providing wank material. 

And then coming back negatively towards dominas here when you've been told your behavior was unacceptable?

Nice try. All you've demonstrated is that it really is ALL about you.

< Message edited by MisPandora -- 8/22/2007 12:36:31 PM >

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to canenaughtysteve)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/22/2007 1:01:29 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Yes, but look at it this way....... If _ _ ever put as much determination into service as _ _ did to _ _ _ second post, _ _ might do some extrordiary things.  If _ _ found it as much a pain in the ass as this Dominiant did to type _ _ _ slashes, _ _ show's at least some fortitude.
 
(Ok, it was a pain, but was trying to be funny.)

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/22/2007 1:50:24 PM   
irishjoe


Posts: 19
Joined: 1/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: canenaughtysteve

Hi,
I was hoping I could get some help on punishments I could give myself that might help me eliminate some negative behavior. There have been things I have repeatedly done that I don't seem to learn from. In recent months I have attempted to discipline my own bottom hoping it would serve as a punishment/deterrant. Unfortunately, I found the experience came up short. When I was presented with opportunities to take different action, too often I made the improper choice again. I thought having a sore bottom would be a constant reminder of this is what happens when you make the wrong choice. Although I decorated my bottom and there was some discomfort at times, it was not enough to provide the desired result on a consistent basis. I considered a butt plug, but have concerns having that inserted in me for a long period could create health issues. Any opinion? Also, I have recently considered a chasity belt. I don't know much about them. Am I correct in assuming that if I put one on, my thingy should be in a downward direction and it would create discomfort whenever I got excited? Do you wear that instead of underwear? Can I wear my jeans or jogging pants over it? Will it be obvious that I am wearing one? Do they come in different sizes or material? Should I get more than one because they need to be washed? Does anyone reccomend a certain company? Do you think me wearing one will be uncomfortable enough to serve as a reminder to make better choices? How about having to wear womens undergarments? Do you think that would be an effective solution? If so, any suggestions? What size would I get? How about if I punished myself by having to sleep on the floor, do you think I might remember that throughout the day? It seems to me the punishment (or deterrent has to be something that has a very strong impact (that I don't forget). Or maybe I need to come up with a list of a future punishments, that I would fear. However, still be able to enforce for specific unacceptable behavior, which would serve as a deterrent? Sorry for the long post. I would appreciate any suggestions or comments. Thank You. Steve.


Consider, as a punishment, not paying so much attention to yourself. Focus all that attention and energy on someone ELSE :-0
- - I'm sure that will hurt you plenty. (?)



Mistress Dolly You are magnificent, concise and really leaving nothing else to say
Your slave is a very lucky male.
joe

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Appropriate Punishment? - 8/23/2007 10:48:50 AM   
canenaughtysteve


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Hello,
I made a post on Tuesday and then made some follow-up comments.   My posts were wrong.  I want to apologize to everyone that was impacted negatively by my actions.  Thank you.  Steve.

(in reply to canenaughtysteve)
Profile   Post #: 11
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