Never good enough (Full Version)

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andreaC -> Never good enough (8/21/2007 1:34:39 PM)

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks



atendersoul -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 1:51:57 PM)

this could be a part of humiliation play, the being told one is not good enough or lacking in some department.....as speaking as a slave.....one does not tell Him that He has stepped over the line.....
drawing the line....and this is being taken as a precursor to sub/slave leaving......this one draws a line, beats a path out of the relationship, situation quickly if it is learned lies is told to her face....
how do you trust such a person if there are lies?



AquaticSub -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 2:00:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


Nah. I dealt with that feeling enough in past vanilla relationships. I just don't have patience for it anymore.



isispisces -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 2:17:00 PM)

Humiliation play can exist while still knowing in your heart that you do please you Master. My Master and I engage in it, but He has his ways of showing/telling me that I do please Him when it's obvious that my insecurity about it might be getting the better of me. Your sig says you're complete and extremely happy, so I would hope this is something the two of you should be able to work out....but if your Master is happy, you should be happy, you must be doing a good job! Just make sure that you -are- happy in your relationship. You are their sub/slave, ultimately, by choice, and you should be happy with that choice, or not in that relationship. Just make sure to be open and honest with your Master. If they're a good one, they'll hear you out. You should also trust them, once you communicate your concerns, to know what is best for you. Would you truly be as happy if you did not feel this push to always do more and perform better, or is it a need you have?

I hope this helps...I psychoanalyze everyone, all the time...I do try and put it to good use though, hehe.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 2:42:05 PM)

I guess I'd draw it after I sat down and said to him "I feel like I will never be good enough for you, that I will never find a stable place of fulfillment with you and that you always find me lacking.  I understand that improvement is an ongoing process and a reasonable expectation, but without rest or reflection and enjoyment of the moment, I feel lost."

And then they basically did nothing in response to that.

That would pretty much be a sign that I either accept it or leave.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 7:55:29 PM)

That line is one that is drawn by individual concensus....Tempting



slaverosebeauty -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 9:19:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC
i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?


Nope. If someone has that 'never good enough' mentality then they are defeated. I am anything but defeated. MJ not be thrilled or like what I have done, yet, He takes the good with that bad, and MJ is NOT the kind of Master to want a defeated slave. What good is that?!



pixelslave -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 9:25:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


This is one where you definitely need to listen to what your instincts and your "gut" are telling you.  A Dom/me needs to be able to build-up a sub and encourage them to do their best, not to just tear them down.  We're real people with breaking points, not mere toys to be tossed away when used up and broken.  If you'll never be good enough, why would a Dom/me want you around?  The answer is obvious to me, that person needs someone who will tolerate their abuse so they can feel better about themselves and the ugliness they find inside when they look there.  Sadly, that's not at all my idea of what this is all about! [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image]
 
 - pixel
 
   Collared to Majik
 



badkittyamy -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 9:35:29 PM)

I can honestly say I rarely have that feeling. Waking up once to find Her thanking the goddess for sending kind of puts such thoughts to rest really =^-^=



MistressDolly -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 9:37:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


A clever Owner will tell you you'll be never be perfect enough, for what better way to instill an inspiring incentive in you to keep trying harder and harder. :)

...Of course, if your Owner does not mix that in with gracious acknowledgment and loving praise from time to time, I could definitely see how you would want to draw the line and call it quits; everyone needs to feel valuable.



shyinini -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 10:06:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


My advice ~~~  draw the line before he cuts your hand and feeds it to you.
 
Sir's girl



slavemaia -> RE: Never good enough (8/21/2007 11:03:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


Oh yeah, but then i get over it, accepting that i am who i am and can only do what i
 
can do. i mean why should i beat myself up when He does an excellent job of keeping me well whipped [image]http://www.collarchat.com/upfiles/smiley/crop.gif[/image][;)]



Aileen68 -> RE: Never good enough (8/22/2007 12:49:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


Been there.  Done that.  The subdrop I experienced from that relationship as a result was awful.  No matter what I did there was never any positive feedback, or any feedback at all, come to think of it.  Needless to say, I'm no longer in that relationship.  It was an eye opener and a learning experience of the type of person that I'm not compatible with.



andreaC -> RE: Never good enough (8/25/2007 7:05:43 PM)

thank Y/you all for your responses.  Master never tell me i am not good enough, he actually tells me that i have grown/learned alot in both vanilla/bdsm lifestyle.  I know i make him happy so this makes me happy :)




littlesarbonn -> RE: Never good enough (8/25/2007 7:09:01 PM)

From a fantasy standpoint never being good enough can be really cool. I've never actually been in that kind of environment, but when I was living with my mistress, I was required to do a lot of cleaning (A LOT), and it was a house of domination, so one day I was kind of stuck in a room where the only exit was through the rest room to the rest of the house, but there was a session going on in the bathroom with one of the other mistresses, and she was doing one of those sessions of cleaning where NOTHING was good enough. I thought it was the hottest thing I'd seen because I always went out of my way to do the best job I could, but something stirred in me when this poor guy was unable to please her in ANY way.

Even after seeing it, it never happened for me. So, it's just one of those things that's remained as fantasy, but to be honest, not sure how I'd do if it was instituted as part of reality. But yeah, I know we're talking about things a bit different than where I think the OP was taking this.



arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Never good enough (8/25/2007 7:30:43 PM)

If I felt that we would not be together.  I gotta feel like it works for both of us.  but then I'm a confident, arrogant bitch.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Never good enough (8/26/2007 1:26:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andreaC

i would like to know others opinion on and if you ever feel that whatever you do will never be enough for your Dom/Domme and when do you draw the line?

thanks


It depends on the context.  I feel I'll never be good enough for my Master, but only because I want to give him so much, that however much I give him will never seem like enough to me...I'll just want to give him more, and do more, and be more.  He regularly tells me he is very happy with me, but I personally continue to strive to always improve.

But that's different than feeling not good enough as though feeling like a failure.  I've been there before, both in my past marriage, and with a past dominant in my life.  I could never live up to their standards, and everything I did was criticized - everything.  In both of those cases, my self esteem was reduced to a pile of rubble, and I somehow mustered my self preserving nature and got out.



trusting -> RE: Never good enough (8/26/2007 2:36:34 AM)

you will either talk to him about it and work through it together... or, simply accept the fact that it will be this way and leave. it may be that he does not know that you feel this way?

communication is vital in any relationship!



Celeste43 -> RE: Never good enough (8/26/2007 10:09:52 AM)

I draw the line before getting into such a relationship ever again.

I was open with The Man. Told him upfront that I needed a lot of affirmation and affection. If he was the type who didn't operate this way, then he wouldn't have gotten involved with me because he had been forewarned.

Quite honestly, this kind of compatibility should be talked about in the very beginning. Better luck next time.



Dilseachd -> RE: Never good enough (8/26/2007 9:23:03 PM)

I think it is one thing to present someone with the "unwinnable situation" in a scene..for humiliation..mind fuck etc...but when it comes to your daily life..be very careful.   I can speak from experiance here.  I once had a Lady who was never satisfied...and I could always have cleaned a little better..been a little earlier...done a little more..etc..etc..etc... Suffice it to say by the time the power exchange ended she had sucked me dry and it took years and another very loving Lady to put me back on the right track again.

She told me at the outset of our relationship that if there was anything I ever felt I could not do for her anymore she would want me to speak up and talk about it.  Soo..over the course of the next 2 1/2 years I slowly began to say...I cant keep your car maintenanced anymore...I cant mow your yard any longer...etc.  I suppose the capper came when I spent 10 hours cleaning her house one day...she walked in from work..ran her finger over the door seal ..looked at the dust and said.."well I suppose there is no reason to even check the rest of the house as you have failed to clean to my standards"...I was stunned...polietly pointed out that I had turned down her bed..set out her medication/night water..and all the little things she wanted each evening before her bedtime...then asked if there was nothing else she needed might I please go home.  She said yes..and when we next spoke I told her I would hire her a maid.   It was not long before the relationship ended.  I guess the irony of the situation is..for a year and a half after the power exchange was over she PAID me to come clean up for her once a week. :)

Every relationship is unique, but be very careful of the never satisfied partner as it will end poorly in time.   This goes for both ends.  But with all due respects to Dennis Miller....but thats just my opinion...I might be wrong.

Kindest Regards to all,
Dilseachd



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