Jasmyn
Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: didiasku2speak
Iam looking to find out, how to begin this new and exciteing lifestlye iam about to venture into.what i would like to know is how do you set up the first meeting with a slave/ sub. Is it proper to do anything on the first meeting.? I guess i need help on the whole issue, i have been reading alot about everything. To find what iam looking for.. are there any good sites i should look at.... i need a Domn 101, any info will be most welcome.
When I wanted to learn how to cane I asked a masochist sub male with 20 years plus experience in been caned if I could make use of his butt... he leapt at the opportunity and we have some memorable scenes under our belt. When I first considered having a 'slave' I found a relatively sane young chap with an interest in female devotion and entered into a 1 month, then 3 month contract with him as my property...a wicked learning experience for both of us. When I wanted to explore cock & ball torture I found a sub interested in humiliation and geno-torture. When I wanted to entertain myself with some roleplay I found a guy who wanted to be disicplined by a strict Head Mistress.
First meetings. Up to you. If you want to meet him for coffee on Friday the 27th at 3.27pm for 27 minutes than so be it. Be clear about what will be expected of him or the expectations of the meeting. Ie if it is *just* coffee, meeting largely as 'vanilla' be clear that is all it is; if it is coffee with an emphasis on respecting 'roles' then have him address you as such, Mistress, Ma'am, Mylady, whatever.
I like to create opportunities that create a level of discomfort, but aren't entirely uncomfortable ... ie pouring tea, have him do it or opening a bottle of wine and glass filling, re-filling, etc ... or ordering for the both of you if at a cafe or restaurant .. if he fidgets, tell him to stop, if the table is not satisfactory make him get staff to arrange another ... anything that offers you an opportunity for it to be all about you ... and him, without even realising, ready to do your bidding... because you are almost 'naturally' taking control.
Oft times you'll find, and your attitude will go along way in this, (which btw your nick is most befitting of ;) they're already in 'awe' of the 'Mistress' (Domina, Domme, Goddess, Queen, Ma'am, MyLady, Fem Dom, whatever) who states she IS in control and woebetide anyone who tries to tell her differently, it is what they are expecting and what they are wanting to find. By the time they actually meet you their postivively peeing their pants in anticipation. Make use of that nervous energy... but occassionally spin them on their heels by doing something out of 'dom' character, compliment them, be interested in *them* ... and finally leave them with FIRM instructions on what they are to do next. Whether that be call you at a certain time, or email you, or a little more elusively, they are too meet with you one week later, same time, same place and tell them to bring a shoelace... it will bug them all week what the shoelace is for... the beauty is it can be for nothing at all but they don't need to know that... or you can say nonchalantly the following week the lace is for 'your cock and balls' and leave it at that ... later you can introduce that shoe lace in a scene, saying he can only wear it when serving you in person and that it must remain with you at all times, hung up in a special little corner in the wardrobe..
I see you like the idea of punishment scenes.... so do I, enjoy them a great deal and have a number of men who come to see me for regular discipline sessions ... one comes three times a month for six of the best and it literally is pants down, 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5, 6, pants up, kiss my feet, there's the door ... another is sent with a note from his partner nominating her desired number of strokes for punishment and then I have free reign over metering out more punishment if I see fit. For a great number of disciples of punishment it really is a desire to attone for some misdemeanor imagined or real, and thus do want to feel very chastised and put in their place. Some will respond to regular sessions of 'discipline' to keep the behaviour in check, while others will just want punishment when they feel they can't go on in this heightened state of anxiety any longer.
I'm sure I've got more to say, but its late and I need my beauty sleep.
Enjoy
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quote:
"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.
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