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Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/22/2007 6:56:07 PM

homedespot

Posts: 79
Joined: 5/28/2006
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My slave and I have been together more than 5 years. I am considering taking another slave. I don't really want to discuss My reasons for that, not because I want to hide them, but because I don't want that to be the subject that gets dealt with in the question so...for the sake of this little paragraph please assume that I love My slave and am happy with him and would like to add another. In addition I have a fairly set view of the difference between a submissive and a slave. I am fully aware that the "sub vs. slave" thing has been talked to death and I'm happy to leave you yours if you leave Me mine.

I have found a man who *I* consider to be a submissive not a slave. I am unwilling to have a relationship with a submissive. However I believe that he has definite slave potential. In fact he reminds Me a bit of My slave 5 years ago. A submissive with the heart of a slave who, through lack of experience, needs to be guided into a deeper relationship.

I have a terribly busy life (who doesn't). I have two um's, I own a company with ensuing employee issues and a 24/7 slave. I really am unsure that I want to start a relationship with a sub who despite the best intentions of both of us will cause me frustration and much effort. I don't mind working hard on a "relationship" part of getting to know someone at all, and there are no shortcuts to that but does anyone have any suggestions?

Am I just being lazy? Should I look for a more experienced person?

Please lets not get off on slave vs. sub I'm sure your defination is equally different and equally worthy. Please lets not get off on why another either. I'm happy to defend that decision in another forum. I really want to know if it always starts with sincere submissives that you turn into slaves or if there are people who start as slaves through having more experience etc.

Thanks

Post #: 1

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/22/2007 8:03:04 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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It does sound like you have too much on your plate right now to work someone into a relationship that is not really ready right now to be there the way you want and need. I'd back off this and leave the possibility for another open to someone that better suits where you are and what you have time for.

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(in reply to homedespot)

Post #: 2

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/23/2007 6:12:12 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Helping someone realize any potential they have is work -- for both of you.

However any new person is going to need time to get to know your household and guidance and again that's work for both of you.

Right now I'm not actively seeking myself because I do not feel I have the time and energy to give to another potential slave.

Things change in life, time will come later.

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(in reply to homedespot)

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RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/30/2007 11:53:07 PM

ededwards

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Joined: 8/27/2007
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You are truly an insperation for me. Or I would not be writnig this note. That said. Why not be content with what/who you have? It sounds like you are busy enough already. You demand excellence from yourself as well as others. I dont mean to question your powers but, can you put into the new reationship what you expect out of it? No such thing as a free lunch.
Respectfully
John.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 4

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/31/2007 3:48:43 AM

nick2020

Posts: 42
Joined: 5/12/2005
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It seems to me that You have one of those good problems. If You feel as if You can bring this submissive into slavery then You should at least try it. If You find that he can become the second slave that You seek and that he is able to serve alongside Your present slave then that sounds like an ideal situation for two fortunate submissives.

(in reply to ededwards)

Post #: 5

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/31/2007 4:26:41 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
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From: Portland Metro, Oregon
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Do you want him in your life? Do you know if becoming what you define as a slave is something that he wants to try to do? Do you have enough energy left after your daily routine to be able to focus on guiding him to your standards and not neglect the slave you already own?

Answer those questions for yourself and you'll have your answer. Good luck.

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Post #: 6

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/31/2007 8:17:16 AM

homedespot

Posts: 79
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. In the end I decided that this man was not compatible with Me in other ways and that what I was doing was making excuses.

I believe him to be a sincere person and someone who truly wants "this". I also believe that he and I were not compatible on other levels. Instead of simply admitting this to Myself upfront I made reasons that it might not work (I'm busy, he's not a slave etc.). After having a heart to heart with Myself about the whole thing I realized that I simply didn't connect with him on that "AH HA!" level. I told him so and we have parted in a friendly way. I am not to busy to do this, or anything else really, if I have the desire, I make the time. I didn't have the desire with this one but when you see a truly sincere person, knowing how hard it is to connect at all...I made a rationalization and went forward.

That said...My original question stands...have you ever taken an "experienced sub/slave" and found that easier, harder, or no different then taking an inexperienced one.

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 7

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/31/2007 9:34:07 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: homedespot

That said...My original question stands...have you ever taken an "experienced sub/slave" and found that easier, harder, or no different then taking an inexperienced one.

Honestly everyone I've trained and then owned had limited experience but they did have some experience whether it was reading or going to a few munches at least.

I have yet to be in a place where I've had the opportunity to own someone who had more experience though I have had casual relationships with such people.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to homedespot)

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RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 8/31/2007 9:37:04 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ededwards

You are truly an insperation for me. Or I would not be writnig this note. That said. Why not be content with what/who you have? It sounds like you are busy enough already. You demand excellence from yourself as well as others. I dont mean to question your powers but, can you put into the new reationship what you expect out of it? No such thing as a free lunch.
Respectfully
John.

Was this a direct response to me?

If so, I'm a bit confused because I said in my post that we/I am not actively looking at this time.

I wasn't actively looking when I found Fox either and I think approaching 8 years of owning him demonstrates the value of being open to relationships when they present opportunities.

As for being content, how is being open to more people when one is poly not being content?

I'm not monogamous, the very concept is foreign to my way of thinking, but my polyness has no connection to being content or not.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to ededwards)

Post #: 9

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 9/1/2007 9:10:52 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

An interesting question.

When I first viewed your profile, I thought, "Wow, I'd LOVE to become her slave!" My problem, in addition to the distance, is whether I'd be right for you. I can't call myself a slave at the moment. Even my submission is quite contingent on finding the right dominant woman who has something special to make me feel that way (there's a very interesting thread on this in the General BDSM Discussions forum, which I think highlights my feelings pretty well). However, I definitely feel that the right woman could easily lead me into a slave role, and the desire is clearly inside me.

It's a bit of a dilemna, because I find a woman like you, seeking a slave, to be the most exciting and desirable situation possible, but I can't truthfully say that I'm ready to be a slave immediately. The potential is definitely strong, but it's hard to find the right place to work toward that goal.

I wonder how many there are like me out there, having trouble reconciling their desires with their inexperience and/or current situation?

< Message edited by hardbodysub -- 9/1/2007 9:13:18 AM >

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Post #: 10

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 9/1/2007 2:30:08 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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Fox has this great expression that he repeated last weekend at GLLA: "I'm not a slave, I'm her slave" and he glances back at me when he says "her".

There are people who identifies as slaves all the time then there are people who become slaves to the appropriate person. Neither is better than the other in my opinion but I do know which I personally prefer.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 11

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 9/1/2007 3:10:38 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Fox has this great expression that he repeated last weekend at GLLA: "I'm not a slave, I'm her slave" and he glances back at me when he says "her".

There are people who identifies as slaves all the time then there are people who become slaves to the appropriate person. Neither is better than the other in my opinion but I do know which I personally prefer.

Thanks for that, tammyjo. It's a good explanation of what I'm interested in - not to be "a" slave, but quite possibly to be "her" slave. Of course, whoever "she" is, hasn't been determined yet.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 12

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 9/1/2007 3:20:07 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
I wonder how many there are like me out there, having trouble reconciling their desires with their inexperience and/or current situation?

I'm going to go out on a limb and say "A significant number."

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(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 13

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 9/6/2007 8:13:03 AM

SlaveSubtoserve

Posts: 282
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Fox has this great expression that he repeated last weekend at GLLA: "I'm not a slave, I'm her slave" and he glances back at me when he says "her".

There are people who identifies as slaves all the time then there are people who become slaves to the appropriate person. Neither is better than the other in my opinion but I do know which I personally prefer.

...i identify completely with that also--- as am only a slave to a particular Mistress or at least have been in the past.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 14

RE: Taking on a second slave...sub...slave...s... - 9/14/2007 1:37:28 AM

MistressMercia

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline

Best advice sort this out first , then you may have your own answer.......".I have two um's, I own a company with ensuing employee issues and a 24/7 slave. I really am unsure " Good Luck Mistress Mercia

(in reply to homedespot)

Post #: 15

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