chuckra -> RE: Submissive, masculine men and cross-dressing (8/26/2007 12:55:43 PM)
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Finding my feminine side has been a long struggle for me. i have always known it was there, but never was able to develop the opportunity to bring it out. i've done the typical things like wear mom's panties, bought some hose and an occasional dress, make-up etc. i have thrown things away because "i shouldn't have them," but guess what - i have always found myself returning to it and buying more things. Problem is i was never in a situation where could pursue this to the depths i wanted and was too chicken shit to do so. One year ago i attended a play party. i knew no one else at the party. i had taken the heels i own with me in case i had a chance to wear them. i began speaking to a Mistress and told her about my heels. She asked to see them and put them on for Her which, of course, i did. She then dressed me in some of Her lingerie and did my make-up for me. i was as feminine as i had ever been and i really thought i had died and went to heaven. Ususally in settings where i do not know anyone i am rather quiet and reserved. However, after Mistress dressed me fem, though it wasn't total fem it was more than i had ever experienced, i found myself coming out of my shell like i had never experienced before. i truly walked around the room with pride, feeling self confident, talking to approaching complete strangers like never before, and gloating in my new found identity. i shall never be able to thank the Mistress enough. The difficulty for me now is finding a Mistress to Whom i may give my total submission and desires that feminine side in me. i truly hope i can get to experience those feelings again and on a regular basis. If not, at least i did once - but i will always yearn for that part of me to be brought out more.
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