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What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 9:17:24 AM

Tigrita

Posts: 484
Joined: 8/16/2007
From: California
Status: offline

Littleone35's thread on "what did you want" made me curious about a similar question: What led you here?

A lot of the replies to her thread said they didn't know what they wanted coming in, and I just wonder, if you didn't know what you wanted, what led you here? Or even if you did know what you wanted, I'm just curious to see how different individuals came to discover the lifestyle, what time in their lives/pesonal development, etc. and what your first experience was like (positive, negative, learing experience, submission at first sight?).

Post #: 1

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 9:20:21 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Sour cream and chive dip with crudités...
Well, you did ask.

Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 2

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 9:26:18 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I was a seed just waiting for sun and water. For me it came in the form of dropping into an AOL chatroom.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_867494/mpage_1/key_cyber/tm.htm#867697
how did you get started?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 3

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 11:14:58 AM

Trunks1056

Posts: 25
Joined: 3/6/2007
Status: offline

For me it stemmed from curiosity with male anal masturbation then expanded into an interet in BDSM when I saw a pegging (F2M Strapon play) video.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 12:06:52 PM

murmur

Posts: 394
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

curiosity in a bdsm chatroom. The imagination going on there had me going for a long time until i started doing it real time :P

(in reply to Trunks1056)

Post #: 5

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 12:35:12 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I was brand spanking new to the internet and aol and answered a pen pal ad that was posted by someone with Master in his name. I think i wanted to know what he was a Master of and he said r/t and I thought he meant respiratory therapy. We continued on like that for about four months, met a couple times but never really connected. It was a complete accident and I accept absolutely no responsibility for it. :)

But, it got me curious, and I wasn't totally naive because I had read about the stuff before; I just had no idea there was a way to connect up with others.

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 8/23/2007 12:38:05 PM >

_____________________________

“To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright.” ~Walter Benjamin

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 6

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 1:14:42 PM

mastersgemm

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

for me it was a gurlfriend who's then boyfriend (now husband) asked me to help her research a contract for them on the internet - i had no idea such a thing existed!! and knew i was likely submissive (huge understatement looking back now lol)

this was about 15yrs ago and i've not stopped looking, researching and learning since *s*

gem,
xo

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 7

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 2:38:07 PM

pleasureforck

Posts: 95
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline

I met my SO online through playing an online game. Never knew I was submissive or that he was Dominant. After we met in rl it just developed slowly. It has been a wonderful experience.

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I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not

(in reply to mastersgemm)

Post #: 8

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 3:06:38 PM

herpet1313

Posts: 68
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline

While i may have come off as charismatic, when it came to one on one action, i was always a bit shy around girls. my first real sexual encounter, at age 19, was about to end in failure until my girlfriend flipped me over and got on top. i had no problem in that position. i didn't know what it was then, and just thought it was our favorite position. During the course of that 18 year marriage there was a little game we used to play. Looking up at her during intercourse i'd ask her what she was going to do about the mess after i came inside her. She's look down and tell me she was going to sit on my face and make me clean her out. i would cum immediately. We were both naive and she used to sometimes accuse me of being gay. i wondered too but it wasn't until a few years after the divorce that i discovered what i was, a sexually submissive man, via the internet. Fortunately for me the woman i married this time, knew how to use this to HER full advantage.

(in reply to pleasureforck)

Post #: 9

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 3:20:20 PM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

Well i cam here aboit 9 months after my former Master died. I was finally ready to search again. I was in a yahoo chat room and another sub told me about collar me so i joined.After about a year i met my wonderful Master. If you are asking about BDSM and not Collar Me in particular i have always been interested it it at about age 30 (7 years ago) I met a mentor and the rest as they say is history.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to herpet1313)

Post #: 10

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 4:42:32 PM

ThinkingKitten

Posts: 447
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: Ontari-ari-o
Status: offline

Well, I used to be a good girl, who didn't go anywhere near dating sites that had a sexual or intimate bent to them. Finally, when I was SOOOO fed up with the vanilla "seeking relationship" world, I said to hell with it one day, and took a look see (at the low-life guys who just wanted sex, sex, sex....ho-hum).
The words "Domination and Submission" leapt off the screen at me. A quick Google, and the lightbulb went on. Fortunately too, my first contact online with some Dom's was with some intelligent, straightforward guys who didn't appear to be fakes etc. One of them pointed me to CM. Had I met up with some of the jerks that are out there first, then I might have turned tail and run straightaway!

_____________________________

Thinking Kitten

If you can't stand the heat... tell the chef to get out of the kitchen.

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 11

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 6:35:09 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

Littleone35's thread on "what did you want" made me curious about a similar question: What led you here?

nothing... I was here before knew it was here.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 12

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 6:53:54 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

What led me to bdsm?

BDSM Porn originally. It sparked the initial interest although after extensive reading and good chunk of real time experience changed my perception of bdsm from what I originally thought it to be.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 13

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 7:12:26 PM

lighthearted

Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline

a nice chain...lol.

actually, it was putting the puzzle pieces together. once I put the puzzle together, then I gathered up my courage and met someone. the result was instantaneous understanding. and a really, really big smile on my face.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 14

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 7:13:33 PM

sammy7626

Posts: 89
Joined: 8/20/2007
Status: offline

An accident of the internet nature. I was looking up something random (probably porn stories) to talk about with my (then fiance) hubby because he was out to sea, and I litterally stumbled across it. I brought it up to him, in sort of a "hey this could be fun to play with" kind of way...and the rest of the last 7 years or so, was history.

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 15

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 7:23:52 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I had a boyfriend in college dump me because he said I was too submissive. He actually said that! A roommate I had was involved in the local community unknown to me. We talked about my feelings and she asked me to come to munch. The rest fell into place thereafter.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 16

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 7:34:52 PM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline

For me it was rather an accident... after insisting on sex one night when me and my partner at the time were both too tired, I fell asleep in the middle. Which might have gone unnoticed if it hadn't resulted in unladylike snoring. Which aggravated my sleep-deprived honey, who introduced me to OTK. After the first few seconds of outrage, I realized that the ambient internal temperature had gone WAY up, the resulting wide awake play was a literal eyeopener, and from there it was just experimentation.

Then several years later a bunch of my straight 'nilla friends introduced my Lady and I, figuring we would be perfect for one another. And so it has proved to be.

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 17

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 9:10:39 PM

slaverosebeauty

Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline

I was much younger, I found 'Genesis' and a bdsm magazine with stories, I LOVED what I saw and read, then when I got older I did a LOT of research and when I turned 18, I looked up some of the books and websites I had learned about. I knew about bdsm and M/s before it was online mainstream in the 90s, lol.

Evidently I had friends who were into it, I have just started to find out, kinda cool.

_____________________________

http://slaverosebeauty.livejournal.com/

"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

(in reply to Drifa)

Post #: 18

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/23/2007 11:03:28 PM

renobigal

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

Littleone35's thread on "what did you want" made me curious about a similar question: What led you here?

nothing... I was here before knew it was here.

I'm inclined to agree.

I was an avid reader growing up, and found myself immensly turned on by even the slightest hint of dominance in any story I read, be it sexual or otherwise. I fantasized of being the helpless tied-up girl in every action/adventure movie, again be it sexual or otherwise. Most of my games of pretend as a child would, in one way or another, involve me struggling against the control of another, and in the end succumbing to it, when all along that was what I secretly wanted anyway. I would play-fight with lovers to entice them to overpower me. I had a burst of joy inside when feeling directed by another, even something as simple as a hand at my back guiding me. A hand twisting in my hair made me suck in my breath and be instantly alert. Recognition for some task I had completed was encouraging, but being praised for doing a good job at something someone else wanted of me was pure pride. I've ALWAYS had a fascination with blood, ropes, and sensory deprivation. And restraints? Forgetaboutit, I was sold before they ever got the cuffs out of the factory.

Those things and more were showing up over a good 5-10 years... during my 20th year was when I was introduced to pain by a summer fling, and I swear it was like everything started lining up, all the blocks began to fall into place. I couldn't get enough, but had no idea there was a whole world of us out here! I had heard the term "S&M" as a teenager, but it wasn't until about 4 years later that I began to search around on the internet and discovered that magic combination of letters, BDSM. That was roughly 3 years ago, and from that point forward came online profiles, chatrooms, meeting people, discussing it with open-minded friends, reading anything and everything I could get my hands on, and being frank about my interests with potential mates.

No one thing led me here... I just needed to discover who I already was.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 19

RE: What led you to BDSM? - 8/24/2007 6:42:45 AM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline

What led me to BDSM was my First Sergeant, when i was a soldier in his unit at age 21. He had me over to his place for an Italian dinner, that he cooked, and some Italian wine and some nice music and some good conversation and then proceeded to fuck me in my virgin ass and made me putty in his hands to mold any way he liked. No, he didn't rape me. It wasn't violent. He didn't hurt me. He just TOOK me. He saw that i was a natural born slut ready to serve him, willingly, happily, and eagerly. He taught me to say "BDSM" and "masochist" and "golden shower" and he gave me a word for what i already was, "submissive slave." What led me to CM was a man who wrote to my Yahoo ad when i was actively seeking a Master to own me 24/7. And, this is where i found my Master just 2 weeks after posting my profile here. i have been serving Him for going on two years. slave joyOwned property of Master David "Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tigrita

Littleone35's thread on "what did you want" made me curious about a similar question: What led you here?

A lot of the replies to her thread said they didn't know what they wanted coming in, and I just wonder, if you didn't know what you wanted, what led you here? Or even if you did know what you wanted, I'm just curious to see how different individuals came to discover the lifestyle, what time in their lives/pesonal development, etc. and what your first experience was like (positive, negative, learing experience, submission at first sight?).

(in reply to Tigrita)

Post #: 20

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