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lonewolf05 -> RE: What are the Most important Qualities for a Male Sub? (7/8/2005 3:26:58 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion
quote:
ORIGINAL: Euryanx
I would think if you put the needs of your Mistress ahead of your own needs, you can't go too far wrong.
I agree with this to a point, but there is a flaw with this concept if one seeks to be involved in a long-term relationship. Our mindsets, kinks, interests... our triggers are very real. Anyone that ignores their own sense of fulfillment will eventually feel all used up/burned out & be looking for the nearest exit door away from the person that they placed the needs of as a higher priority.
I am not submissive, so I can't tell you this from personal experience, but I can tell you from the perspective of a dominant.
I had such an experience where a submissive made every attempt to conform their entire being & desire to please to mirror what I wanted. I was easy at first for him, but as time went on I could see the spark fade. As for myself, I truly read my submissive. I have what could be considered a very empathetic connection. As his desire became more along the lines of merely enduring, the spark faded within me as well.
So yes, place the needs of your Mistress as a high priority, but never attempt to ignore your own for the sake of hers. (and this goes for male-dom/fem-sub or even same gender couples as well)
Yes!!!
NightRoseBud added communication as being very important. I couldn't agree more. Know thyself first, because if you go running around clueless how will you be able to communicate with anyone once you find a potential partner. Not only know thyself, but also find an understanding about terms & definitions of such. I am not saying fall in line like a duck in a row or pick a side of a fence to stand on, because you will never find one universally accepted theory or practice of anything within this way of life anywhere, including here. Even though this is true, still find your own concept & meanings so that you can communicate your understanding & perception of what this way of life means to you to others.
MstrssPassion
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quote:
So yes, place the needs of your Mistress as a high priority, but never attempt to ignore your own for the sake of hers.
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yep yep. and i DO understand, THIS is so different from each person.
as i understand it to be, the majority of those in this lifestyle are after something, the sex, the play, the human love connection,....something.
and i only but take a guess that by itself can be a drama.
and i am guessing only because i am not part of all that.
ignore your own? MINE is as i always state, everywhere, is mere service. whatever dirty little job that has to be done, is my-thing.
but ya know? even at THAT....do not think even THIS is easy. i was NOT in the mood to dig for 3 days digging up a septic tank when i was in calif. no way folks. so even service has bad days.
but hey, as an adult, i knew it HAD to be done, and it WAS MY job.
wasn't in the mood, but i did it.
have a good day folks.
the wolf
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