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Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 7:35:11 PM

brattybabe4u

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/7/2007
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From my last experience, I have painfully learned that I want to serve a monogamous dominant, one I can even introduce in my vanilla world. How do I go about finding this person?

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 7:37:02 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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The same way the rest of us found our partners. Keep meeting people until you find the right one. Make your desires known from the getgo, which will reduce the number of undesireables you waste time with.
It isnt that hard, many of us have perfectly pasable vanilla relationships with our partners.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 8:20:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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I say you re-read your other thread and take a good long time before going to seek ANYTHING other than your own personal fulfillment as a single person.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 8:24:51 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
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Meet guys...get to know them...let them get to know you...

Basically same way as in the vanilla world.

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 8:39:08 PM

babygurl23

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Joined: 7/26/2007
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I want the same as you.........monogamous........and a partner in all worlds...........i'm taking my time to meet the right one........and my submission will only happen if it fulfills my needs and what i am looking for...........

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 9:42:56 PM

breatheasone

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Just like you would any other relationship. meet, talk, get to know one another. If you find theres an attraction, you continue...etc....

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 9:52:15 PM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
Joined: 10/26/2005
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Be open, be honest about who you are and what you want, be respectful and never ever settle for anything you cant live with..... Remember as the sub you chose who you submit to.... Submission is surrender it is given not taken...

(in reply to breatheasone)

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 10:05:45 PM

jaymckenas

Posts: 146
Joined: 4/10/2007
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Always a good thing to state right out front you want nothing to do with anything other than a monogamous relationship. Personally my experience leads me to feel it's a matter of taking your time with the search that leads to better results. Patience etc. Good Luck and best wishes.

Jay

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 10:21:40 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurl23

I want the same as you.........monogamous........and a partner in all worlds...........i'm taking my time to meet the right one........and my submission will only happen if it fulfills my needs and what i am looking for...........

Sounds like you're on a good track...hope the search ends well for you! (With a bit of luck, I'm hoping Mine already has! ;) )

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/23/2007 10:40:43 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
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what I seek is a Mistress, that can put me in my place, train me to do the things She requires and be strong enough to initiate punishment as She sees fit. someone that knows what they're doing, and someone who knows how to treat a submissive male. is that too much to ask for?

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/24/2007 4:09:44 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
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Unless you discover your needs in a partner and relationship, you're headed for a long string of painful learning experiences. Some people call that "trial and error" but I think it's more error than anything else.

I'd suggest focusing less upon "finding someone" than on finding yourself. Of course, that takes some time and effort and who has the patience for that....

John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/24/2007 6:53:47 PM

brattybabe4u

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/7/2007
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Rover....you are right on. I am working on myself, with a therapist, so I can make a healthy decision when it comes to a partner, kink or vanilla. Its a painful, time consuming, slow and mind-opening process. I have always compromised, or tried to become whatever someone wanted me to be. Until I can support my own convictions, I work on myself. When ready, I will not accept other than a monogamous relationship that is mutually beneficial to both parties and my submission is cherished as a gift. Before I can expect to be special to anyone, I have to be special to myself.

I wanted some affirmation that couples practice monogamous BDSM lifestyles successfully....and I found out much more. Thanks for encouraging me to continue in the right direction. Right now, I am still very very wounded.

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/24/2007 10:18:31 PM

MstrSkyWoIf

Posts: 238
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quote:

ORIGINAL: brattybabe4u

Rover....you are right on. I am working on myself, with a therapist, so I can make a healthy decision when it comes to a partner, kink or vanilla. Its a painful, time consuming, slow and mind-opening process. I have always compromised, or tried to become whatever someone wanted me to be. Until I can support my own convictions, I work on myself. When ready, I will not accept other than a monogamous relationship that is mutually beneficial to both parties and my submission is cherished as a gift. Before I can expect to be special to anyone, I have to be special to myself.

I wanted some affirmation that couples practice monogamous BDSM lifestyles successfully....and I found out much more. Thanks for encouraging me to continue in the right direction. Right now, I am still very very wounded.

bratty, not all Men in this lifestyle are unable to commit to a one woman relationship. Take your time and you will find the one you seek who will treat you with the value, love, and respect you deserve. There are those of us who know how very strong a woman must be to submit and who only desire one woman.

It has taken me a very long time but I finally found the one I have been seeking. you will do the same.

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/25/2007 11:43:05 AM

theq

Posts: 85
Joined: 6/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: brattybabe4u
From my last experience, I have painfully learned that I want to serve a monogamous dominant, one I can even introduce in my vanilla world. How do I go about finding this person?

For one I suppose, you can change your profile to indicate you are a Submissive Female as opposed to a Dominant Female. That would be a good start :)

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/25/2007 12:56:12 PM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: theq
For one I suppose, you can change your profile to indicate you are a Submissive Female as opposed to a Dominant Female. That would be a good start :)

One would figure that this would only be common sense. Hmmm.

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If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/25/2007 4:31:08 PM

ehlovindom

Posts: 248
Joined: 1/23/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: brattybabe4u

From my last experience, I have painfully learned that I want to serve a monogamous dominant, one I can even introduce in my vanilla world. How do I go about finding this person?

Dom's R' Us, aisles 12 thru 16. Aisles 4 thru 11 are the poly Doms.

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Know which bridge to build, which one to cross, and which one to burn!

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/25/2007 7:26:54 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: theq
For one I suppose, you can change your profile to indicate you are a Submissive Female as opposed to a Dominant Female. That would be a good start :)

One would figure that this would only be common sense. Hmmm.

i was thinking the same thing...

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/25/2007 7:59:08 PM

SirEbonyPhoenix

Posts: 195
Joined: 8/29/2006
From: My realm in Central Indiana (you guess where :P)
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One way of finding a compatible Dom is to discover what common interests you share (both vanilla and lifestyle related), such as reading, exercise, movies, music, fetishes, etc. And also, taking time to get to know each other before going into doing lifestyle activities helps a lot as well.

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"If it takes one to know one, then you must be one."

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/25/2007 9:01:40 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
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ORIGINAL: ehlovindom

Dom's R' Us, aisles 12 thru 16. Aisles 4 thru 11 are the poly Doms.

LOL...do we have guarantees on these types of Doms and if they become defective, can we return them back to the store?

(in reply to ehlovindom)

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RE: Finding a Compatible Dominant - 8/26/2007 2:00:07 AM

brattybabe4u

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/7/2007
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Good point...I enjoyed serving, especially with the positive feedback in seeing the joy and appreciation in return. I grew weary of serving at my best, to only receive harsh criticism for one out of those 199 tasks, brought back as an example whenever I made a "mistake". I believe, in the right situation, with the right person, I am a sub. I would like to take my time, get to know a person and to trust and explore to find what I do enjoy. I'm not sure how to write that in a profile.

(in reply to theq)

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