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Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:09:23 PM

Hiskat

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline

I know there is probably a thread on here somewhere but I wanted to post it anyhow, appreciate all of your advice. A few days away from our first play party and I have my outfit ready. I had to get Master's approval but was allowed to pick the outfit, a black corset, with built in lace pink bra & short mini black skirt (I rarely wear short skirts, love long skirts, anyways) but I am looking forward to looking sexy and I must say I feel pretty sexy in it! Of course leggings to go and some lovely heels, which I CAN actually walk in, I wear wedge heels generally for work. So to my question, I am a bit shy when it comes to dressing provocative in public, no issues when it is just Master and I but around other people it will be a first for me and advice about how to handle it? I know that being with Daddy will help and He is wonderful about reassuring me. Just a bit nervous and excited, first time that I get to wear my collar out (I am dressing in street clothes and changing when I get there, rest assured.Thanks to many of the posts on here, I have been reading up on play party etiquette. It is just nice that I get to wear in front of others and I am excited about going yet nervous at the same time. Master said we may do a scene. It would be my first scene in public, any advice for jitters, how to block out other people? Again thanks for the advice

Post #: 1

RE: Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:24:25 PM

here2domin8

Posts: 50
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: Fall River, MA
Status: offline

My beautiful kitten,

I am thrilled to hear your exitement about our upcoming event. I have no doubt how stunning you will look and I will make sure you know it. Further more, I am pretty sure our friends will be very supportive, which will help put you at ease. Daddy always keeps you safe and that will never change. Your comfort level will determine how I determine what level of play you will be able to handle. I cannot wait to proudly parade you around the party as My pet.

I love you always kitten!
MG

_____________________________

If you believe everything you read, better not read.

~Japanese Proverb

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 2

RE: Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:34:47 PM

Hiskat

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2007
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I love you too Daddy!

(in reply to here2domin8)

Post #: 3

RE: Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:36:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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Well the best thing I think I can say is that it only really matters to you. People don't really notice that much, they are all too worked up the same way YOU are to really notice, and wearing all black to a kinky type place is like wearing jeans and a tshirt to a Denny's. So I'm not saying "get over yourself" because I bet you will look and feel sexy and should appreciate that for what it's worth- but APPRECIATE it, and don't let your own issues stop you from enjoying.

Although leggings? The trend that should have been killed at birth really. Please just say no.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to here2domin8)

Post #: 4

RE: Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:36:36 PM

Hiskat

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2007
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I know you will keep me safe Master. I always know that but being a bit selfconscious about my body is an isue of mine. I appreciate your guidance and care.

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 5

RE: Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:37:56 PM

Hiskat

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2007
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That actually a typo it should have said thigh highs, oops.

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 6

RE: Shy about body - 8/23/2007 9:40:42 PM

Hiskat

Posts: 24
Joined: 2/12/2007
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Thanks for the advice LA.

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 7

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 1:40:46 AM

thirtyone

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/24/2007
Status: offline

I have worries about how I look when out in role. Bumps and wobbly bits where there shouldn't be etc but actually the outfit gives me confidence. My master is always proud of me and I find other subs will always smile and dom(mes) often point me out with favourable comments and that is in spite of all the faults I see with my body. Going to these events in vanilla clothes make you feel a little left out too. I'm sure you'll love being on show for your master. Let us know how you get on x

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 8

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 7:37:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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LOL going to events in vanilla clothes tend to make ME feel more unique and interesting and creative. Plus frankly, I find a suit and tie or a tux on most men exceedingly more sexy than the black leather vest ensemble- but then I've got a fetish for formal wear.

Of course my "vanilla clothes" includes lots of ball gowns, hats, sari's and such. I only do tshirts and jeans if I'm going to be doing some rough labor or messiness during a scene.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to thirtyone)

Post #: 9

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 8:07:48 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hiskat

It would be my first scene in public, any advice for jitters

Just try to relax. Remember, no one is there for a "Miss Submissive" contest

quote:

how to block out other people? Again thanks for the advice

That can be really hard to impossible. Hopefully you will be in a smaller group with semi-private areas set aside for playing and there won't be a lot of scenes going on at once. I can block out the rest of the world as long as the others are reasonably quiet and there isn't another scene going on that involves talking. Also, because I do quite a bit of jabbering when I'm in my subspace, I avoid starting scenes while others are playing and Valyraen helps me out of the play area when we are done so that I don't bother anyone else.

However, be prepared to not get as far into your headspace as you normally do. After playing in a public dungon, I understand why some people dislike them so much. While you are playing one kind of scene you can hear people playing a different one and what is going on in theirs may be something that hits a trigger in either one of you. If something bothers you, let your dominant know quietly and you two can figure out what to do from there, either waiting it out or simply leaving.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 10

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 8:28:33 AM

mastersgemm

Posts: 16
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Although leggings? The trend that should have been killed at birth really. Please just say no.

hehehe ;) and i do agree about the formal wear *s*

--------

As for how to block others out, I think it's about pleasing your Master, if you trust He thinks you're beautiful and sexy, then be beautiful and sexy and accept it within yourself, the feeling will radiate itself back out of you

No one is checking all the details and if your focus is solely on Him, it will help you relax into the entire thing

Know He's pleased and smile sincerely
Know you're making Him proud and perform with confidence
Trust that He is protecting you and let yourself free
and mostly......Breath! lol

Hope you can relax enough to enjoy it

gem,
xo

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 11

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 8:35:53 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LOL going to events in vanilla clothes tend to make ME feel more unique and interesting and creative. Plus frankly, I find a suit and tie or a tux on most men exceedingly more sexy than the black leather vest ensemble- but then I've got a fetish for formal wear.

Oh G-d Yes!!! Me too!

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 8:43:14 AM

BossyShoeBitch

Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline

Hiskat,
I was going to write you about my first experience playing in public (I've done it two times, I'm a veteran ,woo hoo!)

Then I read the post from your Master to you...

It seems to me you don't really need advice. You have all that you need.
and you are a very lucky girl indeed...

Enjoy yourself and tell us all about it afterwards!
-BSB

_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 13

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 9:10:46 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Nearly everyone Dom or sub has a bit of apprehension just before attending an event. Some claim they don't, but watch them run around in circles trying to get all the right toys packed, and you can see it even if they do not.

If this is a small private play party it is likely most will be concerned that you you and other new people are made welcome.

If this is a large weekend event with hundreds of folks attending, only people who know you will pay much attention to your outfit. You may be "ogled" if Master plays with you in the dungeon, but if this makes you nervous ask your Master to blindfold you. It is amazing how much that removes both distractions and inhibitions for many of us.

No matter how hot or kinky or exotic your outfit is, others will be wearing more "far out" stuff.

No matter how vanilla your outfit is, others will be wearing more casual stuff at a big regional event.

LOL it is interesting how simply doing something a bit different can ease things, if you can do that. One big event I only got the chance to go at the last minute so had no costume for the "dress-up" competition. I wore something ordinary, but tied a medium sized dildo on my forehead with a silky red thong. LOL Tons of people told me I was under false pretenses becaue I'm NOT a dick head. I just said even they need a bit of recognition. People talking to me about it helped be make a beautiful connection with a Lesbian couple who became very dear to me.

In many events one must be "street legal" when going between your room and the play area, because often there will be the public also using a hotel. In these cases you either change in the dungeon (or in a bathrom there) or you wear a vanilla coat or other garment over your hot costume. If you get to the dungeon and you can not bear showing your costume, just ask your Master if you may keep the coat or robe on.

One very heavy inhibition I found for myself was the very bad feelings I got if a Dominant woman who was important to me wanted to do silky domination, putting me in lingerie etc. That was a "landmine", a surprise which stemmed from some childhood things. I wanted to please the Mistress very but this was very very hard to do. I decided that when I was at a big event alone, if I stripped down to bra and panties in the dungeon and just walked around I might be able to overcome the inhibition without embarrassing Mistress as she was not present. I figured if it was too hard could just dress again. It turned out that this broke the inhibitions down very much, and I actually was OK and enjoyed both dungeon parties.
LOL got "lucky" too.

_____________________________

As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to BossyShoeBitch)

Post #: 14

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 11:46:59 AM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Plus frankly, I find a suit and tie or a tux on most men exceedingly more sexy than the black leather vest ensemble- but then I've got a fetish for formal wear.

I completelly agree! Give me a business man who knows how to use his belt and tie, next to a leather man, any day.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 15

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 11:52:06 AM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

Hiskat, The jitters are part of the fun. I'm actually excited for you. You never know...you might actually enjoy it so much you'll want to do it more.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to CrazyC)

Post #: 16

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 2:23:50 PM

Constanza

Posts: 57
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline

I so kno how you feel Hiskat.... as i will get my first time soon to....please tell me how it was as i can learn from your experience :)

btw i lost my vanilla!!!! yeah!!!

< Message edited by Constanza -- 8/24/2007 2:24:54 PM >

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Collared by Lord Sully on Saturday august 25th 2007, The man i adore and love.

Fetish Gear

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Post #: 17

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 3:29:26 PM

SubJordanTyler

Posts: 268
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I think you are in the right frame of mind. Since you already feel sexy in the outfit, I say go with that and play it up. Get in there and strut around in it and make them notice you and how hot and sexy and bad-ass you are. The outfit sounds perfect for that. What counts is that if you feel sexy, then you are sexy. So don't shy away from it.

We're all nervous the first time. My first time I was completely nude in front of a room full of people. So everyone was going to see everything - there was no hiding. Just to keep my mind off it a little, I had a plug in my ass and my cock in a cage. This way I could be a little distracted by the pain and discomfort and not feel like all the eyes in the room were looking at my very naked body.

It actually did help and I got comfortable pretty quicky and loved it. I even took a strap-on for a demo that same night, which I wasn't sure was going to happen. But I got into the role so much that I was ready to do it - and getting taken anally like that with a room full of people watching was just amazing. I was so aroused that my cock wanted to burst out of the cage. Now that sure did hurt. *L*

I did go into this wanting to do it, so I was eager to just - but still nervous, which is normal. I was required to tone up my body before I would be allowed to be in public like that, so I didn't have any issues there. I felt good about myself and wanted to do it, so that made it easier to go out into the room completely nude. I've done it a few times since then and even done it completely feminized - which was just an amazing experience. I was a little sissy slut - and was used all night. :-)

(in reply to Constanza)

Post #: 18

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 4:12:08 PM

Sabella

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/26/2005
Status: offline

Dressing up out of your norm can be quite liberating, you may come to really love it!!! You've got the right attitude already :) I've found that having a simple phrase or action that my Dom knows about beforehand to let him know that I'm feeling overwhelmed or very nervous about something helps tremendously. It's like a little totem between us that I can use at any time to signify I need a moment of quiet to regain my composure.

Hold your head high and be proud you are on his arm, that is the greatest confidence giver - as so many have already stated. Have fun!

_____________________________

“The giant Grof was hit in one eye by a stone,
and that eye turned inward so that it looked into his mind and he died of what he saw there.”
From The Forgotten Beasts of Eld, by Patricia A. McKillip

(in reply to SubJordanTyler)

Post #: 19

RE: Shy about body - 8/24/2007 6:15:15 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

This may sound odd, but I'm a relatively shy person myself in that type of situation, and it works for me. As soon as you start getting dressed, start thinking about yourself as someone else, a role for the night. It doesn't necessarily have to be someone specific, (though it could be) just someone who is confident, sexy, and knows everyone in the room will want her. I call it slut mode *laughs*, but it works, I find myself moving with my head up, a come hither smile on my face, and much more confident. For me though, the best part is that after concentrating on it for 30 minutes or so, it starts to infiltrate and lets that side of myself come out. It is in you..I promise. You may feel silly at first, but I think you'd be amazed at how well it works...

Hope it helps,
-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to Hiskat)

Post #: 20

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