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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 11:51:58 AM

SophiaBelle

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I see your point and agree, in fact I was never in disagreement with this particular point. I was simply stating me oppinion to a comment someone made in response.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 12:40:54 PM

MaitresseEden

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I think you could easily substitute the words "Mature adult" in place of "Master" and it works even better.

Ms.Eden

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 7:30:36 PM

zaynab

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wow.... can a human being possibly even come close to accomplishing that list?
sure is expecting quite a lot..... ~ zay

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 7:32:25 PM

zaynab

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MaitresseEden

I think you could easily substitute the words "Mature adult" in place of "Master" and it works even better.

Ms.Eden

i was actually thinking about the subsititue words "Jesus Christ" lol ~ zay

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 8:27:31 PM

Synocense

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Thank you, Timothy, I feel I have gotten a good amount of food for thought too and that is much appreciated from everyone. I keep reading in post after post how the list of qualities could be applied to any person and any relationship. I understand that and I also understand that just because you do or don't adhere to these beliefs, it doesn't necessarily make or break you as a Master. However, when i first was introduced to this list, I sat back and read through it line by line, wondering what sort of Master one might be if they believed and acted the opposite of what was written. That is what fueled my fascination. Think about it, one doesnt need to stick to this list of qualities to be a Master, yet, to do the opposite, sounds like the sort of person I work hard to stay away from.

Syn

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 9:17:39 PM

MaitresseEden

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quote:

wow.... can a human being possibly even come close to accomplishing that list?
sure is expecting quite a lot..... ~ zay

I don't see much that is impossible to obtain. What do you see that is?

Ms.Eden

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 9:19:03 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Synocense
Think about it, one doesnt need to stick to this list of qualities to be a Master, yet, to do the opposite, sounds like the sort of person I work hard to stay away from.

Syn

The reality is that you really won't meet ANYONE who perfectly fits that list, or anyone who fits the opposite. Almost everyone will fit somewhere in the middle of each of those points.

Some people will like more of some and less of others. And it won't matter what dom/sub/vanilla orientation they are.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/8/2005 11:37:14 PM

zaynab

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I don't see much that is impossible to obtain. What do you see that is? Ms.Eden

uhmmm.... one or several items on the list..... yes, that seems achievable......
everything on the list? not likely.....

then again, i've spent most of my life in my small hometown and here.... there are hardly any branches on anyone's family tree......
maybe that's adversely affecting my paradigm...... *shrugging shoulders

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/9/2005 12:31:36 AM

SeraphSjhet

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I've read over this list, and I really don't know about anybody else, though I've read most of the other replies...

But that list sounds like everything I'd like to acheive with myself and any subs that I might eventually have...

I think they're good ideas for everybody, though...

But then again, what do I know...? ;P

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/9/2005 6:23:04 AM

Synocense

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Thank you everyone for your input. : )

peace and love

Syn

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/10/2005 6:47:24 PM

punnishme

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I really think that this was a great thread.

The part that states that a Master should know how to love unconditionally really stuck out to me.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We all have a need to love and be loved or at least that's the way that I feel and always have felt.

This lifestyle doesn't work for me if the person that I am with doesn't love me, doesn't say that He loves me, doesn't act like He loves me. I just cant do that. Love has to be there because when it all comes down to it in the end, I want love more than I want this lifestyle, even though I am my Masters slave I want respect, trust, care, and compassion from the one that I am with as I will give the same in return for those feelings, words and actions.

Great Post

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/10/2005 7:38:08 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: punnishme

I really think that this was a great thread.

The part that states that a Master should know how to love unconditionally really stuck out to me.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We all have a need to love and be loved or at least that's the way that I feel and always have felt.

This lifestyle doesn't work for me if the person that I am with doesn't love me, doesn't say that He loves me, doesn't act like He loves me. I just cant do that. Love has to be there because when it all comes down to it in the end, I want love more than I want this lifestyle, even though I am my Masters slave I want respect, trust, care, and compassion from the one that I am with as I will give the same in return for those feelings, words and actions.

Great Post

As has been discussed and will be discussed many times- love is important and inherent to Ms for some and not important for others.

I think unconditional love is a great thing. However, you can love someone unconditionally and still know that you aren't going to make it in a relationship with them.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/10/2005 8:53:18 PM

slatyb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressFire70

Master Skip is a wonderful man.

No doubt. But he could still be spouting a bunch of meaningless BS.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/11/2005 2:46:14 AM

Youcantmakemeeee

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I don't see anything wrong with this list if you're talking about general qualities of a partner, whether that be Master, Dom, slave, submissive, switch, vanilla, and any other combination. However, your subject refers to Masters alone and this list is not representative of that.

Even if you had a list of specific qualities that would only refer to Masters, it still wouldn't be accurate, because it would still be generalizations. If, however, every different type of Master were to have their own list, that might work better, but i don't know of anyone with that kind of time and insight into all the different types of Masters.

Each sub/slave could write about what qualities she/he is looking for in a Master, but you wouldn't be able to put them on the same list because there would be contradictions within it.

C.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/11/2005 5:59:27 AM

domtimothy46176

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quote:

ORIGINAL: punnishme

I really think that this was a great thread.

The part that states that a Master should know how to love unconditionally really stuck out to me.

I agree with this whole heartedly. We all have a need to love and be loved or at least that's the way that I feel and always have felt.

This lifestyle doesn't work for me if the person that I am with doesn't love me, doesn't say that He loves me, doesn't act like He loves me. I just cant do that. Love has to be there because when it all comes down to it in the end, I want love more than I want this lifestyle, even though I am my Masters slave I want respect, trust, care, and compassion from the one that I am with as I will give the same in return for those feelings, words and actions.

Great Post

Good point! I told toy fairly early on that while I don't find love to be an appropriate basis for a D/s relationship, I can't forsee not having a lot of love for someone who is dedicated to my service. My personal makeup is such that I tend to develop a lot of affection for those who go out of their way for me. For myself it's been more of a question of, "How could I not love a girl who worked so hard at pleasing me?"
Even though love means much, much less to me than respect and honor, I can't forsee it not developing spontaneously within a healthy dynamic.
To put it in brutally pragmatic terms, a tool that always performs as expected is going to be treated with respect, cleaned appropriately and carefully stored away until it's needed again. It's treated with care because it always performs. A servant is the most valuable, multi-functioning tool I've ever possessed and the hardest to replace. It only makes sense to me to treat her well so that I can continue to enjoy the use of her for years to come.
Timothy

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/11/2005 11:57:20 AM

Gemeni

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Exactly My feeling on the matter Timothy-well said.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/11/2005 1:28:15 PM

junkyard

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>To the best of his ability, a Master loves unconditionally.

I don't do anything "unconditionally." I have expectations, so do others. This is one of those statements that looks good at first glance but actually has no basis in reality and therefore means nothing. Adding the qualifier "To the best of his ability" merely further waters down an already meaningless statement; alternatively, the qualifier is the perfect out for anyone unable to match up to the "unconditional" ideal. "I wanted to love her unconditionally, but I couldn't. It was beyond my control." Awwww, how sad...

I am not Jesus with a whip. I am just a man with certain ideas, attitudes, and desires.

So, how do I know that love is rarely, if ever, unconditional? Because people break up. The act of breaking up shows that requisite conditions were not met. This happens all the time. Ergo, relationships are predicated on conditions so they cannot be unconditional. I am sure it's possible there exceptional cases that could be considered, but in general - I would claim as high as 99% of the time - all relationships are conditional, even those predicated on love.

What I find more interesting is how this overly sentimental idea makes it into a discussion about BDSM when one would imagine that many here are quite comfortable with the rules with which relationships and roles are defined. And yet everyone seems to like this namby pamby idea of "unconditional love." What gives?

I generally hate lists like these about the "perfect" master or slave. Such a lot of nonsense.

If you want a good start at the BDSM lifestyle/scene, try not having ridiculous expectations from the outset. No one is Jesus with a whip, nor is anyone Mary on her knees either. We're all of us just people with the usual motivations - no angels, no saints. Just people. Throw in a heavy helping of kink. That's about it.

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/11/2005 1:45:59 PM

TallDarkAndWitty

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Is it too late for me to play? *smile*

Well, I don't care if it is. I'm bored, and here are my thoughts

quote:

A Master is spiritually awake.

Hmm...I think I would need to understand what was meant by spiritually. Does this mean that believing in something (anything), be it Budda, Allah, the Goddess, or Yoweh, is better then believing that perhaps all those things are wrong? If so, it's a crock. If not, then just what the hell does it mean?

Either way, it has nothing to do with being a Master.

quote:

A Master is actively engaged in regular practice to strengthen and deepen his awakening.

I find Red Bull does a great job of deepening my awakening when I feel sleepy. Others use caffine, I hear.

Oh wait...this means something else? Then it's a crock.

quote:

To the best of his ability, a Master loves unconditionally.

A Master loves what unconditionally? His slave? His fellow man? His mother?

Unconditional love is a ridiculous notion that has nothing to do with being a Master.

quote:

A Master strives to be uncompromising in his integrity.

I would buy that one. I think integrity in a Master is more important than it is in a slave. Not that a slave shouldn't strive for it as well, but I think the Master needs to be the foundation.

quote:

A Master is honest, trustworthy and consistent in his words and actions.

I would buy this one too. Again, I think it is more important that the Master be these things (in particular consistent) then for the slave.

quote:

A Master is willing to be emotionally open and vulnerable; he does not hide his feelings but instead expresses them in a healthy manner.

Here is one quality that I think is more important for the slave to possess. A slave needs to know what to do. A Master needs to know how a slave feels when s/he does something.

quote:

A Master knows while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Only if you like pain (or can convince yourself that you don't have to suffer pain), I guess. Maybe this is supposed to be deep or something, but when I feel pain, I suffer.

quote:

To avoid causing suffering in himself and others, a Master remains in control of his ego even when he indulges it.

I am really not sure what this means. Does it mean that even while he grants himself god like status, he doesn't let it go to his head?

quote:

A Master does not accept the service of a slave casually and does not take the responsibility of mastering a slave lightly.

I am down with this...

quote:

A Master accepts his slaves body and trust with gratitude, and takes neither for granted.

...but not so much with this. I feel that any good relationship is a mutually beneficial trade of value. I am not grateful to my slave for acting out the opposite end of a working power exchange. S/he better be getting as much out of it as I am, or I don't want to be part of it.

quote:

A Master understands the importance and value of discipline and protocol; he develops discipline for himself and a protocol for his slave that is both nurturing and nourishing.

This works for me.

quote:

A Master possesses and uses healthy and functional communication skills and insists his slave does as well.

This too...

quote:

A Master is willing to stand in the middle of his slaves projections about the Master without moving, neither fostering nor supporting the illusion, nor destroying it.

Huh? What does being a movie screen have to do with being a Master? I really need to pay more attention at the Megaplex, cause apparently there is stuff going on there that I never even dreamed of...

quote:

A Master is willing to hear, witout complaint, or self pity, the awareness that doing his best may, at times, not be good enough.

If this means A Master must be willing to try his best, and fail, I am down with it...otherwise, huh?

quote:

A Master is willing to admit his mistakes, acknowledge his shortcomings and makes amends whenever possible.

While I do think this is true of everyone, I think it does play a more important part of the make-up of a good Master. One of the easiest ways to spot a brain-dead dom is to look for the ones who are never, ever, never wrong.

Interesting list. A bit too much Depak Chopra for me...but a good way to kill the last few moments of my work day.

Taggard

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/16/2005 11:55:10 AM

Synocense

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Thank you. LOL Straight forward and honest, gotta love it.

Syn

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Does it improve upon the silence?

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RE: Qualities of a Master - 7/16/2005 12:05:28 PM

ledastray

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I have a hard time when people give others a label and then based on that label, attribute across the board characteristics. It makes for confusion, miscommunication, self-deception, and lying.

I wouldn't think a 'Master' would have to be better than me. What a 'Master' or a 'Dom' is to me is pretty unique to me. Which is to say that anything I would need or expect from someone who wore this particularly label around me would be different from what it is to someone else.

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