being Vocal

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tigress31047 -> being Vocal (7/9/2005 4:40:29 PM)
I know this thread has already been done. I jus tfinished reading it but I had a question and since the thread was slightly old i thought i'd repost.i apologize ahead of time if this annoys anyone... Master wants me to be vocal during play..He wants me to tell Him what I feel and wants me to talk dirty and stuff like that...I have a hard time even saying "thank You" for Him allowing me touch His pussy if I'm very aroused. I know some will say preactice, practice, I have done that. I have stood in front of the mirror and talked dirty and can do it whenever I am not aroused but during sex I just cannot speak no matter how hard I try..I can answer simple questions sometimes but even that makes me lose focus and sometimes He has to repaet the question (not good btw). He has started stopping right where W/we are if I don't answer Him now. Although i must say that has gotten my attention and I do listen better now .. it is still hard to actually "think" of something dirty to say during those moments.. Does anyone else have any technique or a way of learning how to be vocal and still go to that wonderful place and not hear anything or say anything.?

Isolde -> RE: being Vocal (7/9/2005 4:54:04 PM)
I wish I had something helpful to suggest but I really don't know how you might break yourself of that habit beyond just effort and practice. I feel for you though. I'm as vocal as they come in bed (pun not intended!) but not in a verbal way. At certain points, I wouldn't be able to string a coherant sentence together to save my life. Maybe if you work first on not going to that happy place. Establish the habit of answering him, and use the wonderful place as a reward directly afterwards.

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: being Vocal (7/10/2005 3:59:22 PM)
Sounds like you go into a pre-verbal, inarticulate place when you are in subspace, and I definitely relate to that. I'm an erotic writer, and during vanilla sex I can talk up a nasty, naughty storm...but in subspace...totally incoherent. I'm not sure how this can be helped...but perhaps the first step is to discuss it with your partner, and determine the difference between not obeying, and actually being incapable of obeying. Not point punishing you for something that can't be helped. Better to work together on ways to make it work. Cin

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: being Vocal (7/10/2005 4:44:21 PM)
Have you asked for suggestions? Watched porn together? Gone to clubs and watched others do humiliation scenes? Start slow, pick a phrase and make yourself say it over and over during one scene. This will at least start to train your body in the headspace you need to be to verbalize. Once you have this pattern down, it's just a matter of varying the words. The headspace is the key, the words will flow after that.

tigress31047 -> RE: being Vocal (7/10/2005 6:31:04 PM)
Thak You for replying ....Master has been very patient i must say.. i seem to be having more of the problem because it feeels like I am disapointing Him by not being able to do what He wants... He has been giving me examples of what He would like to hear and having me repeat them back to Him during a scene..this has helped some ...Yes W/we have watched porno together and He has actually audio taped some of the more vocal women for me to listen to when I am alone..btw, don't try listening to sex in th car when your driving...its a bit distracting(lol)....I have also started writing down things when i think of them and try to remeber to use them but it seems i just freeze... I know this will pass as I get more used to it but I just feel so disheartened everytime i know he's expectiing me to speak and i don't.. again thank you for your replys and I will let you know the first time I accomplish this wthout help from Master (lets hope it dosen't take too long)

ranscan -> RE: being Vocal (7/11/2005 12:18:44 AM)
an interesting question you pose, for me being vocal in play, if i am allowed is easier than being silent, but talking dirty during sexual play, i have never really been able to do it, my mind is not in that gear. It is different for each one, and if you can remain cognicent of where you are long enough to please Him in this way, you will be showing a wonderfull willingness to submit to His will.

subversiveone -> RE: being Vocal (7/11/2005 4:10:32 AM)
and allow me to say that i too, go through something similar... here's what happens: i start thinking super-uber-nasty thoughts to push myself to climax and will be saying something outloud that's either more tame or different. the stuff im thinking has no real place in our bedroom as it's not going to turn him on at all and it's just my twisted mental imagery. then, i get really quiet if im about to come. He hates that. He likes lots of noise, and i can't 'think' when im grunting and groaning... if i 'talk dirty' to him, i have to taylor it to suit His fantasy and it doesn't do much for me. So you're probably thinking, just say it...Just say it regardless. Share the nastiness. But i already know that it won't turn Him on, it won't propel me that much further if He doesn't like it, and i fantasize (and repeat phrases) that are so left field we can't even really 'act' on them. ive tried opening up to Him about it but we always stick to His stuff because im very embarrased by what goes through my mind sometimes. Not to mention that a lot of times He wants me to talk, about how it feels, etc, i don't know what to say! i freeze up too. it takes the submissiveness out of it if he puts me in a position where i have to admit to not wanting it, or critique it.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: being Vocal (7/11/2005 5:25:18 AM)
That's too bad subversive, but unfortunately too common. I am very difficult to orgasm and need intense focus and won't beg or moan or anything otherwise I will be distracted. All of my sex partners know this- so if they want me to be loud or make noise, they have to accept that my body won't orgasm. Unfortunately, they can't really get EVERYTHING they want :) Now, you say the issue is your own embarassment, talk to him about THAT at least, as he needs to know this about you. Whether you end up still keeping it to yourself (and its turning YOU on at least so that's good) or vocalizing your own desires, at least you will be open and not have a secret between you both.

littleone35 -> RE: being Vocal (7/11/2005 6:42:11 AM)
i know i get very vocalal and loud as for talking dirty when i am aroused my mind goes toatally blank i focus on feelings rather then thoughts and i can't think anything unrtil after. I think some others have the same problem. Sorry i could not help. littleone

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: being Vocal (7/11/2005 5:49:30 PM)
Here is a trick to use that might help those who find they have to be quiet to orgasm...It can take months, or weeks, but either way, it's fun!! Try practicing while masturbating. That way you don't feel the pressure of being watched, or the pressure to perform... Start by letting out the moans and groans...and don't worry if it slows down the orgasm...just stop making the noises for a while, and build back up to the edge, and try again. Keep at it. Hell, make an afternoon out of it! Once you've mastered the vocalizations you'll likely find it makes the orgasms more intense. Apparently this has been proved in several sex studies. Holding back the noises defers some of the energy from the orgasm. Think karate, and the yells that go with that... Once you are comfortable with that, turn those noises into single words...like YES, or your partners name...and once that works for you move on to phrases... Over time you'll probably find you no longer stay quiet while orgasming...You'll notice that if you do, it makes the orgams less intense. Dominants can take a big part in this...giving orders for this to be done, perhaps a set number of times a week, or giving the sub phrases to "learn". (Very hot and sexy for both parties!) Also, it helps if they encourage by telling the sub how much the noises turn them on, when the sub does let loose with the noises during play. Most women in particular are self-concious about these noises and knowing it pleases their partner can make all the difference. Trust me, I know it can work! ::grin:: Cin

sabis -> RE: being Vocal (7/11/2005 10:16:18 PM)
quote: Does anyone else have any technique or a way of learning how to be vocal and still go to that wonderful place and not hear anything or say anything.? Tigress, this is definately something i have struggled with as well. Master actively hunts down my inner slut, which is buried beneath a whole lot of inhibitions, both self-imposed and through my extremely religious upbringing. He really feels that verbalization will help me break through some of those walls. Its hard, though. I feel and share your embarassment. This has been a five year struggle for me, that is as-yet ongoing. As others have suggested, i started off small, with affirmations and statements of appreciation. (Example: "Thank You, Master, for Your cock." "Thank You for the opportunity to (please / serve / suck / worship) Your cock.") I'm still working on the sustained kind of verbalization that He desires. I still find myself holding back from shame or embarassment sometimes, or simply lack of imagery. I've never been one that had an active fantasy life, and that may be part of my problem. I try to pick up on His preferences and interests and get creative. It does get a little easier over time, though, which is really what i'm trying to share. Hang in there! ~ sabis

pandoravampire -> RE: being Vocal (7/14/2005 9:25:35 AM)
major break through for me in this area this week, and the winning tips were: describe what is happening spill your thoughts as randomly as they appear in your head and the really wierd thing: its hot when i talk hot, FOR ME![:-]

brightspot -> RE: being Vocal (7/14/2005 10:04:39 AM)
Hello tigress, I am very loud and vocal during sex, but I too have some shyness about "Dirty talk" so what I have done is sit down and write down a bunch of dirty phrases and memorize them. WHen engaged in sex and really turned on I think of the list and try a few out. It's not easy, but it really excites my Domina so I am taking risks to become more confortable. Listing helps me fill my head with "amunition", so to speak[;)]. Good Luck with finding your words and the freedom to use them! *Brightspot

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: being Vocal (7/14/2005 1:58:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pandoravampire major break through for me in this area this week, and the winning tips were: describe what is happening spill your thoughts as randomly as they appear in your head and the really wierd thing: its hot when i talk hot, FOR ME![:-] LOL Congratulations, Pandoravampire!! Keep working at it. I've found it's guite a prized ability among the dominants I play with...They consider it one of my selling points as a sub. LOL Cin

pandoravampire -> RE: being Vocal (7/15/2005 10:03:41 AM)
i shall keep practicing. This week, i will be mainly saying Sir, and talking dirty. its a bugger, that just when i get the hang of it, i cop 3 night shifts and a period! bloody typical!

velvetvixen -> RE: being Vocal (7/15/2005 4:43:21 PM)
I am completely verbal, will blah-blah-blah throughout anything. It is a "reward" of sorts when I am allowed to be verbal during a scene. Master allows me to go into space when He wants some peace and quite. LOL

mselisetoyou -> RE: being Vocal (7/15/2005 5:33:17 PM)
I struggle with this from time to time. Unfortunately, I have to push through it as my sub fiance and I live in a different city. Phone sex is a key component of our sex life when we are apart. Fortunately, we are together nearly every weekend so I can guage his reaction to my verbalizations when we are face to face and know what works best.

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