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understanding - 7/9/2005 7:44:55 PM

ricanmami678

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/23/2005
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i am new in this lifestyle i feel very comfortable in the lifestyle but is it weird that i am so hard on my self if i dont get somehting exactly correct for my Sir? i seem beat my self up about it

< Message edited by ricanmami678 -- 7/10/2005 1:40:10 PM >

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RE: understanding - 7/9/2005 7:58:41 PM

Mylee

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
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When I make the one I am with dissapointed and I catch that look in His eyes, my heart drops and my tummy tightens, and I feel this rush of sadness that I've let Him down and dissapointed Him and I would do anything to make it right. He always catches my mistakes and typically I get punished but it seems like no punishment He can dish out is worse then seeing His brows lower and His eyes twinging with dissapointment, seeing that look is the worse punishemnt

I think it's very normal to be upset when you've not done something correctly, I typically dont have to much time to beat myself up since He's very quick to punish....

and welcome to the boards

*smiles*
my'lee

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RE: understanding - 7/9/2005 11:09:55 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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This is terribly common- subs and slaves can be the hugest control freaks and perfectionists in the world.

Just remind yourself to think long term- it's not about what you do on a single day or with a single taks, it's your overall growth and improvement. This takes TIME and dedication.

And sometimes it can help to remember that it's not your place to beat yourself up :)

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RE: understanding - 7/9/2005 11:27:31 PM

wednesday

Posts: 93
Joined: 6/21/2005
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Normal as far as I know!

One day he counted the number of times I said I was sorry... it was up close to a hundred! I was actually told not to say "sorry" anymore. THAT is probably the hardest request I've ever had...

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RE: understanding - 7/10/2005 9:06:47 AM

perfection20005

Posts: 419
Joined: 4/20/2005
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Have to agree with Emerald on this one. We all tend to think we are not doing everything perfect. And it does take a lot of time and patience to learn something new. Good luck.

perfection

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RE: understanding - 7/10/2005 10:27:31 AM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
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i have always ben the type to want to be the best at everything. i am like that with work and now i am like that with my submission. i beat myself up to no end when i feel i could have done better. when i mess up i feel like such a disappointment. E.G. i forgot the mayo in Masters lunch yesterday. So what do i say to myself: :"OMG i am such a bad slave, i have inconvienced Master and now Master may not want me to make Her sandwiches anymore because i can't do it right and will probably end up going to subway now because the VANILLA people know how to do this without forgetting!"

Well, i know that i shouldn't do this to myself. it not only isn't healthy when one beats their self up, but it makes you unhappy all the time and then it upsets Master.

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RE: understanding - 7/10/2005 3:11:34 PM

Youcantmakemeeee

Posts: 36
Joined: 7/4/2005
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When I've erred in the past, there has never been a time when I thought I was a bad sub because of it. Yes, I like the rest of you who have posted so far, have come down on myself extremely hard because it's my nature to please and make others happy. And there will never be a punishment harsher than how I feel when I've displeased a dominant. I do not know of a sub that has not felt this. They might be out there, but I am not aware of them. Course, I'm not aware of a lot of things. lol.

C.

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RE: understanding - 7/10/2005 5:56:51 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
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You aren't even a little weird. I've heard time and again that probably the worst punishment is something involving being sent off by yourself where you think about what you've done wrong. I have to agree. I'd much rather just have a spanking, be forgiven and have it over with. But then, that obvioulsy isn't my decision to make, and somehow not what FnF usually chooses.

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